


Text Ya Later, Trollhunter

by lovevalley45



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack (kinda?), F/F, F/M, Gen, Group chat, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant?, Trans Male Character, text fic, they have a group chat and it's chaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-02-23 21:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 59
Words: 39,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13198680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovevalley45/pseuds/lovevalley45
Summary: The best way to communicate is with a group chat. Obviously.





	1. the beginning of a terrible idea

**Author's Note:**

> alt name: i got bored and wrote this shit
> 
> there are many parts that probably aren't canon but does it look like i care? there might be a plot but mostly it's just what i come up with at the worst possible times
> 
> also the actual title is inspired by me wondering like. the whole deal with blinky and argh! presumedly sharing a cell phone? what's that about.

**damnzalski** has created the group  **trollhunters**

**damnzalski** added  **jimothy** ,  **juliet** , and  **blinknwink**

**damnzalski** : hey!!

**juliet:** why are u up it’s midnight

**damnzalski:** bc we all just got home?

**damnzalski:** duh

**jimothy** : are you guys gonna keep me up all night

**damnzalski:** yes

**juliet:** no

**jimothy:** wait hold on

**jimothy** changed their name to  **gnomeo**

**damnzalski** : NO

**gnomeo** : YES

**juliet:** u coulda just done romeo u know

**gnomeo:** but it wouldn’t be as funny

**damnzalski:** u right u right

**blinknwink:** Why?

**damnzalski:** it’s from a movie 

**blinknwink:** I know it’s from a movie, Tobias. 

**blinknwink** : Aaarrrrgh! explained it to me after you made him watch it. 

**gnomeo** : you did WHAT

**juliet** : why

**damnzalski** : long story

**juliet:** we have time

**damnzalski** : we lost a controller and i found the movie on netflix and

**damnzalski** : yea

**gnomeo:** holy shit tobes

**juliet** : did chompsky like it

**damnzalski:** i think he did

**blinknwink** : Why would a gnome enjoy such a stupid film?

**damnzalski:** this is the same gnome who’s probably tried to fuck a doll

**damnzalski:** i hear the noises at night

**damnzalski** : it’s terrible

**gnomeo:** thanks for that mental image

**damnzalski:** that’s what friends are for

**juliet:** this is the weirdest conversation i’ve ever heard and i have seen jim and his clones playing cards

**damnzalski:** wait holy shit i thought that was an intense prank

**juliet:** why did you think it was a prank?

**blinknwink:** We weren’t trying to fool you. 

**damnzalski:** nah but jimothy here has tried to prank me before

**gnomeo** : i set myself up for that one

**damnzalski:** he once tried to convince me that my nana’s cats all were a vivid hallucination

**gnomeo** : we were ten and it was april fools so

**damnzalski** : it didn’t work

**gnomeo:** yea no this was real

**gnomeo:** it was the worst experience of my entire goddamn life

**gnomeo:** it fucked me up

**juliet:** they almost ruined my mom’s bbq

**juliet:** and you knocked off our weathervane

**gnomeo:** uh

**juliet:** yea

**gnomeo:** yea about that i think it fell on your neighbor’s cat?

**gnomeo** : is it ok?

**gnomeo:** claire u still there

**juliet:** james lake jr. 

**juliet** : you little bitch

**juliet** has left the group chat

**gnomeo:** it fell on  _ her _ cat

**damnzalski:** yea

**blinknwink:** Run. 

**gnomeo** has left the group chat

**damnzalski:** he’s dead

**blinknwink** : Didn’t Notenrique try to eat her cat while Jim was babysitting him?

**damnzalski:** that cat needs therapy

**blinknwink:** How did he use italics?

**damnzalski:** i actually don’t know

**blinknwink:** Internet it?

**damnzalski:** internet it. 


	2. never let jim babysit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, those children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously this isn't really with canon but.... it's funny and that's all that matters
> 
> i'm shocked by how many ppl are reading this but,,, thank you. i love you all.

**damnzalski:** jim

**gnomeo:** what

**damnzalski:** will u and claire be my son’s godparents

**juliet:** i’m touched

**gnomeo** : it would be an honor

**blinknwink** : Tobias, when did you have a child?

**damnzalski:** like today

**gnomeo:** you’re a grandpa

**blinknwink:** Isn’t 16 young for humans to be having children?

**juliet:** they’re flour children

**gnomeo:** like they’re bags of flour not children covered in flour

**juliet:** yea i guess i should’ve specified

**blinknwink:** That makes much more sense.

**gnomeo:** we have a son

**juliet:** daughter

**gnomeo:** daughter named petunia

**damnzalski:** me and darci have our son sir issac gluten

**blinknwink:** Darci?

**gnomeo:** tobes’ furry girlfriend

**damnzalski:** first, fuck you

**damnzalski:** and we’re not dating

**juliet:** yet

**gnomeo:** we’re still in the planning stage

**damnzalski:** you guys are. the literal worst

**blinknwink:** I see. Will I get to meet my new ‘grandchildren’?

**juliet:** probably

**gnomeo:** yea

**blinknwink:** Wonderful!

**juliet:** we got a double date

**damnzalski:** hey claire what class do u have so i can come fight u

**juliet:** jokes on u i’m in janeth’s

**damnzalski:** fuck

**gnomeo:** watch ur damn language tobothy

**gnomeo:** that doesn’t work at all

**juliet:** what were u even trying to accomplish

**damnzalski:** great job jimothy

**gnomeo:** how can i get to die rn

**juliet:** i have angor rot’s ghost on speeddial

**gnomeo:** thanks babe

**damnzalski:** keep ur disgusting pet names out of this

**juliet:** aw but toby pie :(

**damnzalski:** no

**gnomeo:** toby pie? :’(

**damnzalski:** please stop

**blinknwink:** ;;;)

**damnzalski:** don’t do it

**blinknwink:** Toby Pie.

**damnzalski:** NO

**damnzalski:** i am starting to consider moving schools

**gnomeo:** i live right across the street from u

**damnzalski:** boarding school. Easy.

**gnomeo:** damnit

**gnomeo:** what about my godchild

**damnzalski:** privileges revoked. aaarrrrgh! is his new godfather

**juliet:** aw shucks :/

 

**gnomeo** renamed the chat  **rip petunia**

 

**gnomeo:** my baby

**juliet:** alas she was gone too soon

**damnzalski:** may her soul rest in yeast

**juliet:** how’s my nephew doing

**damnzalski:** he’s with his mom but darci said he’s not dead

**gnomeo:** better than ours

**juliet:** bc u killed her

**blinknwink:** How do you kill a bag of flour?

**gnomeo:** by leaving her in a sink with a dwarkstone that’s bout to explode

**blinknwink:** At least she wasn’t a real baby…

**juliet:** we’re still gonna fail

**gnomeo:** oh shit

**damnzalski:** jim

**gnomeo:** what

**damnzalski:** never babysit my son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does the group chat name ever get changed back? eh probably not for like. a long time. that's just how group chats go.


	3. fight! fight! fight!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some friends encouraging their other friends to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy we got a special guest this chapter! (and it's not strickler)

**damnzalski:** did u lovebirds hear about the new movie

**blinknwink:** What new movie? Pray tell, Tobias.

**juliet:** no

**gnomeo:** no

**damnzalski:** sherlock gnomes

**gnomeo:** you’ve brought a curse upon my household with those two words

**gnomeo:** come over so i can fight u

**gnomeo:** I CAN SEE YOU SMILING THROUGH UR WINDOW U TINY FIEND

**juliet:** tiny fiend?

**gnomeo:** it is my job to be the most dramatic person i can be claire

**gnomeo:** this is how i do it

**damnzalski:** who r u to talk u dang noodle

**blinknwink:** Are you going to let him talk to you that way, Master Jim, or are you going to do something about it?

**juliet:** are you egging them on

**blinknwink:** Yes. 

**blinknwink:** It gets boring without Aaarrrgh! here sometimes.

**juliet:** well then i better come over with some popcorn

**gnomeo:** we’re not gonna fight

**blinknwink:** Not with that attitude, you aren’t!

**blinknwink:** Just some friendly sparring, that’s all.

**juliet:** does draal have a phone

**gnomeo:** why would draal have a phone

**blinknwink:** Yes, he does have a phone.

**gnomeo:** wait what

**blinknwink:** It was a present from Aaarrrgh! and I for his 250th birthday. That is what you call them, yes?

**gnomeo:** yea usually

**juliet:** add him to the chat

**blinknwink:** If you insist. He’s not much of a texter. 

 

**blinknwink** added  **draal** to the group

 

**draal:** why

**blinknwink:** It’s entirely Claire’s fault.

**juliet:** don’t call me out like this

**draal:** what is so important

**blinknwink:** We are trying to get Tobias and Master Jim to fight.

**gnomeo:** for some reason

**draal:** fight fight fight

**gnomeo:** betrayal

**draal:** if they fight can i leave

**juliet:** sure

**damnzalski:** well we’re not fighting so

**draal:** fight

**draal:** fight

**draal:** fight

**draal:** fight

**damnzalski:** stop

**draal:** fight

**juliet:** not much of a texter my ass

**draal:** fight

**gnomeo:** FINE FINE IF Y’ALL STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE WE WILL FIGHT

**juliet:** y’all

**gnomeo:** oh no

**juliet:** i have never heard u use the word ‘y’all’ in my entire time knowing you

**gnomeo:** i was stressed ok,,,,,,

**juliet:** wow babe

**damnzalski:** are we fighting

**gnomeo:** yea come over

**gnomeo:** my mom’s not home

**gnomeo:** ;)

**damnzalski:** now i’m legally required to fight u

**juliet:** wait like five seconds i’m almost there

**blinknwink:** I wish I could be there to watch.

**juliet:** i’ll send you a video

**blinknwink:** Excellent! I would love to see their progress.

**juliet:** five bucks on toby winning

**gnomeo:** rude

**gnomeo:** wait are you texting and riding

**juliet:** not anymore i’m at ur door let me in

**gnomeo:** after that,,, no

**draal:** can i leave now

**gnomeo:** will u come out to watch us fight

**draal:** i’ve been in the living room for two minutes waiting for you to come downstairs prepared for battle of course

**damnzalski:** claire and i are picking ur lock

**gnomeo:** when will i get a break

**draal:** since u two are ready to fight i’m leaving

 

**draal** has left the group

 

**juliet:** gtg film my boyfriend getting his ass kicked

**damnzalski:** what ass

**gnomeo:** let’s just. get this over with

 

 **juliet** has created the group **fight fight fight**

 

**juliet** has added  **blinknwink**

 

**juliet:** [the fight.mp4]

**juliet:** toby won

**blinknwink:** I knew he would.

**blinknwink:** Don’t tell Jim I said that.

**juliet:** no prob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, draal. i miss him already :(  
> let's hope our favorite crystal sonic escapes gunmar's control but this show is known for ripping out our hearts and spitting on it so we'll see.
> 
> also i'm sorry but HAMMER BEATS SWORD EVERY TIME ok. shut up.


	4. waltolomew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, after almost dying, trying to evacuate Trollmarket, almost dying again, and having to try to figure out what to do about all the trolls you evacuated out of Trollmarket, you just need a bit of humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guess what nOW THERE'S SOMEWHAT OF A PLOT 
> 
> ok so i'm going to start posting chapters on Fridays b/c i actually have 12 chapters written already so
> 
> this one and the next are gonna be plot-heavy i guess but then there's a more light-hearted chapter so look forward to ur fave group of delinquents making an appearance

**gnomeo:** why is strickler in my fucking house

**gnomeo:** i mean nomura is here too but like

**damnzalski:** they’re just chilling in ur house

**gnomeo:** i told them i had to change so i’m upstairs but they’re in my kitchen making tea and

**gnomeo:** nomura is yelling at strickler

**damnzalski:** about what

**gnomeo:** i don’t know but it’s hilarious

**gnomeo:** hey fun fact strickler’s first name is actually waltolomew

**damnzalski:** _ w a l t o l o m e w  _

**damnzalski:** that’s fucking hilarious

**damnzalski:** in fact

 

**damnzalski** changed the group name to  **waltolomew**

 

**gnomeo:** was that necessary

**damnzalski:** yes

**damnzalski:** but seriously how did u even find that out

**gnomeo:** when i was trying to find enrique i stumbled upon his familar

**damnzalski:** little baby waltolomew

**gnomeo:** who names their child waltolomew

**damnzalski:** ppl from thee 1800s prbly

**juliet:** so we’re just gonna not talk about anythng that just happened huh

**juliet:** or maybe try to figure out why strickler is just chillin in jim’s house like does he even have a key?? did he break into jim’s house is that what’s happening here

**juliet:** what the fuck i almost died and everything has gone to absolute shit and we’re just gonna ignore all of that and laugh at strickler’s name actually being waltolomew like gunmar is in trollmarket, vendel’s dead, they could taking over the human world and we’re just making jokes?

**damnzalski:** tbh i’m too tired to process half of what happened so i just wanna make fun of the fact that his name is waltolomew

**damnzalski:** it’s how i’m dealing with everything right now

**juliet:** yea u have a point

**damnzalski:** but seriously

**damnzalski:** is waltolomew even a real name

**gnomeo:** i looked up on google and apparently not any fucking more

**juliet:** is that why he became evil

**juliet:** i mean i would too

**gnomeo:** seems legit

**damnzalski:** strickler’s tragic backstory: i had to deal with a bad name. and i was a changeling. that too.

**gnomeo:** what’s with all the bad rap changelings get? it’s not their fault they’re this way

**juliet:** you kinda have a point there

**damnzalski:** but what about the fact that um. every one we’ve met is evil?

**gnomeo:** but they can change. notenrique, nomura, hell even strickler (i think).

**gnomeo:** they changed

**juliet:** what brought this about anyways?

**gnomeo:** i guess my time in the deep left me thinking about some things

**gnomeo:** strickler’s calling for me. i’ll talk about it later

 

**damnzalski** has created the group  **claire nunez protection squad**

 

**damnzalski** added  **juliet**

 

**damnzalski:** yo r u ok?

**damnzalski:** that shit was intense n u seem kinda stressed

**juliet:** i’m fine just kinda tired now

**damnzalski:** if u need anyone to talk to u got me and jimbo

**damnzalski:** don’t forget that

**juliet:** thx toby

**juliet:** but i’m gonna go to bed

**juliet:** it’s been a long day

**damnzalski:** yea u should get some sleep

**damnzalski:** gn claire

**damnzalski:** sweet dreams

**juliet:** goodnight tp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh! what's next? you'll find out on friday but in the meantime u can. comment abt ur predictions. what's up with jim? why the fuck are nomura and strickler in his house? how's claire doing? these questions will probably be answered soon.


	5. aftermath of stress, death, and possible corruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares always strike when you just want to fucking sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow more angst.

**juliet:** is anyone up?

**damnzalski:** i never sleep what happened

**juliet:** i just had a really weird dream? idk it’s messin with me a bit

**damnzalski:** oh what was it about it??

**juliet:** i broke into trollmarket and stole angor rot’s head and gave it to the ‘pale lady’? 

**juliet:** i don’t even know how the pale lady is

**damnzalski:** do you think that it might have to do with the staff

**juliet:** there is no way it’s not relatable to the staff

**juliet:** idek it felt like it was like.

**juliet:** real

**juliet:** you know

**damnzalski:** i hate to say this but

**juliet:** no no no no no 

**juliet:** no

**juliet:** it didn’t corrupt my soul or whatever it just didn’t

**damnzalski:** claire 

**damnzalski:** you almost died

**damnzalski:** and you eyes went really weird?? like it went black but with purple irises

**damnzalski:** like it was weird

**damnzalski:** so i hate to be the bearer of bad news but that isn’t normal

**damnzalski:** and then ur hair like

**juliet:** just bc my hair turned a little white doesn’t mean my soul is corrupted

**blinknwink:** Tobias may have a point. 

**damnzalski:** even blink’s backin me up here

**blinknwink:** It was a very likely possibility in the first place, along with death. Something like that rarely leaves someone unscathed.

**juliet:** oh god

**juliet:** can we just wait to see if i have any more dreams i mean it might just be a weird dream?

**juliet:** and it’s not like it’s totally certain that one weird dream can mean that my soul is corrupted by some dark evil power right??

**blinknwink:** What if your dream wasn’t a dream at all?

**juliet:** this is too deep for a monday night no no no

**juliet:** i have school tomorrow i don’t have time to fuckin be corrupted by my own shadow staff

**damnzalski:** that u stole from a troll assassin

**gnomeo:** claire i’m comin over

**juliet:** my mom will literally kill you

**damnzalski:** he is already rolling his vespa outta the garage

**gnomeo:** are u lookin at me through ur window

**damnzalski:** it’s a very brightly lit street

**juliet:** i’m fine u don’t need to come over

**gnomeo:** i would argue with u but it’s not safe to ride and text 

**juliet:** if my mom kicks u out of the house that’s ur fault

**damnzalski:** he’s gone claire i think he doesn’t care abt that rn

**juliet:** well then

**juliet:** i’ll talk to u guys l8r

 

**damnzalski** created the group  **troll shit**

 

**damnzalski** added  **blinknwink**

 

**damnzalski:** do you know about a pale lady?

**blinknwink:** She was somewhat of a deity to trolls, but that belief faded with Gunmar.

**blinknwink:** She was a powerful sorceress, rumored to give Angor Rot the power he possessed, among other things. 

**blinknwink:** That mention was not a coincidence 

**damnzalski:** do u think that

**damnzalski:** you know

**blinknwink:** I have no doubt about it.

**damnzalski:** are you going to tell her

**blinknwink:** That’s a difficult choice to make, but for now it’s safer not to tell her.

**damnzalski:** she could be in danger

**blinknwink:** Telling her while she’s in such obvious distress about it might not be what she wants to hear. 

**blinknwink:** We’ll wait until it gets more serious.

**damnzalski:** if you insist

**damnzalski:** how is leading the trolls going

**blinknwink:** Better than one would expect.

**blinknwink:** I now know why Vendel was stressed.

**damnzalski:** tell me bout it

**blinknwink:** How are you doing, Tobias?

**damnzalski:** uh

**blinknwink:** I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright.

**damnzalski:** i don’t know

**damnzalski:** i thought my best friend died then i thought my other best friend died and now everything else

**damnzalski:** strickler and nomura showin up randomly in jim’s house

**damnzalski:** everything with claire

**damnzalski:** it’s like

**blinknwink:** Dealing with other’s problems to distract yourself from your own?

**damnzalski:** i’ve spent like the last 48 hours worrying about everyone but myself

**blinknwink:** Get some sleep, Tobias.

**blinknwink:** You deserve a rest.

**damnzalski:** it’s almost 4 AM and i have school tomorrow

**blinknwink:** Pretend you’re sick! Like that one human movie.

**damnzalski:** ferris bueller’s day off?

**damnzalski:** how do u even know that movie

**blinknwink:** I’ve been trying to figure out Netflix.

**blinknwink:** Worry about yourself, Tobias. You deserve it.

**damnzalski:** thanks blink :)

**blinknwink:** You’re welcome. :::)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW what's gonna happen next?? is jim gonna get killed by mrs. nuñez? probably not but still. next week is the reckless club interlude so we'll see what's goin on then! what's up with our favorite group of teenage delinquents? we'll find out!


	6. reckless club interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some random delinquents get together and start a rebellion in Arcadia Oaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's what everyone's been waiting for - THE RECKLESS CLUB INTERLUDE
> 
> quick reference for everyone's name bc uh. yeah
> 
> springflingking - steve  
> cheddarjohn- eli (get it)  
> maryyyyy - mary  
> shanlonghan - shannon
> 
> pretty sure that's all of them but lET'S DO THIS

**springflingking** has created the group  **delinquents**

 

**springflingking** added  **cheddarjohn** ,  **shanlonghan** ,  **gnomeo** , and 3 others

 

**springflingking:** hey bitches

**gnomeo:** wow you’ve finally created a group chat

**gnomeo:** like u promised like. two weeks ago

**gnomeo:** gr8 job steve

**springflingking:** i’ve been busy lake shhh

**maryyyyy:** aww u n claire have matching names

**maryyyyy:** u guys r so cute u r making the rest of us look bad

**juliet:** yea well

**cheddarjohn:** why are you all awake it’s 2 AM

**damnzalski:** i’m living my life to the fullest eli

**damnzalski:** fight me

**shanlonghan:** i have annotations due tomorrow

**gnomeo:** yIkes

**maryyyyy:** i believe in u shan

**shanlonghan:** thx so i’m gon to ignore u all for the next five hours

**juliet:** that’s fair

**springflingking:** what are u plebs doing anyways

**gnomeo:** dying, probably

**springflingking:** i’m gonna hope you’re joking

**damnzalski:** he is

**cheddarjohn:** trying to get some actual fuckin sleep

**maryyyyy:** sexting with tight jeans hank ;)

**juliet:** i thought u two ended things?

**maryyyyy:** can’t a girl just have a lil fun

**gnomeo:** can i have one moment of peace

**damnzalski:** never

**juliet:** watching jim get crunk

**maryyyyy:** never use that word ever again

**juliet:** fiiiine

**maryyyyy:** so,,,, party at lake’s?

**juliet:** no we’re just at his house watching movies

**damnzalski:** help she’s making me watch gnomeo and juliet

**juliet:** it’s revenge for trying to get us to watch sherlock gnomes 

**damnzalski:** i was  _ joking _

**gnomeo:** that didn’t stop me from fighting u over it

**damnzalski:** first we had moved on from that by the time i fought u

**damnzalski:** secondly  _ i fucking won jimothy _

**maryyyyy:** wait did u two actually fight

**springflingking:** having fun bein a third wheel domzalski?

**damnzalski:** if anyone is the third wheel it’s claire

**juliet:** [why.jpg]

**juliet:** it’s true

**gnomeo:** don’t expose me like this

**juliet:** too late

**gnomeo:** in my defense he’s very comfortable

**cheddarjohn:** i ignore the chat for two minutes

**damnzalski:** it’s been a long night

**springflingking:** every night is a long night for you guys

**juliet:** i mean you’re not wrong

**maryyyyy:** i feel like i’m missing smth here

**springflingking:** we’ve been hanging out some nights

**juliet:** we study together

**cheddarjohn:** all five of us

**juliet:** it’s boring

**maryyyyy:** maybe u should invite me sometime 

**springflingking:** it’s for chess club

**cheddarjohn:** mastering our chess moves

**juliet:** yea with mr.blinky!!

**damnzalski:** guys guys jim fucking fell asleep i’m

**juliet:** [slep.jpg]

**juliet:** rest in pieces jimothy

**cheddarjohn:** is that his phone on his face

**damnzalski:** yea

**cheddarjohn:** how

**juliet:** it fell on his face and we don’t want to wake him up

**damnzalski:** well i would but that’s cuz he’s leaning all over me and not u

**juliet:** whatever

**cheddarjohn:** he’s sitting up i feel like that defies some rules of gravity 

**cheddarjohn:** was he taking a fucking selfie or something

**juliet:** have u met jim does he look like he abides to any rules

**juliet:** including the rules of physics

**damnzalski:** he defies every rule of physics cuz he’s a living noodle

**juliet:** didn’t he actually pull a noodle out of his nose

**damnzalski:** in many ways jim fuckin lake defies every rule of reality

**maryyyyy:** awww claire u should wake him up with tru love’s kiss ;)

**juliet:** after he gets some gotdam sleep

**maryyyyy:** soo are u staying at his house

**damnzalski:** yea prbly 

**juliet:** i’m rebelling so yes 

**shanlonghan:** i’ve come back from the dead to tell u to FIGHT THE MAN

**maryyyyy:** TEENAGE REBELLION

**maryyyyy:** WHO WANTS TO VANDALIZE SOME SHIT

**juliet:** i’m im i wanna burn some shit

**springflingking:** i’m down

**damnzalski:** i love rebellion

**damnzalski:** OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

**gnomeo:** YEA

**juliet:** wait wtf i thought u were asleep

**damnzalski:** he woke up while you were looking for matches

**gnomeo:** i smelled rebellion

**damnzalski:** i had to pause the movie

**gnomeo:** and the chat was blowing up on my actual face

**springflingking:** as opposed to ur imaginary face

**damnzalski:** that’s ur fault man

**juliet:** where are your matches anyway

**gnomeo:** in the living room

**juliet:** nice

**cheddarjohn:** whoa we’re not setting something on fire tonight

**juliet:** it’s technically early morning so

**shanlonghan:** give me a time and place

**shanlonghan:** fuck ms. milde and fuck ib english 

**maryyyyy:** damn shannon call her out

**juliet:** courthouse in fifteen minutes

**cheddarjohn:** steve can i get a ride

**springflingking:** i thought u weren’t gonna rebel with us

**cheddarjohn:** eh i’m starting to feel the rebellious urge tonight

**springflingking:** Y E A

**juliet:** REBELLION

**maryyyyy:** R E B E L L I O N

**shanlonghan:** rebel! rebel! rebel! rebel!!!

**gnomeo:** LET’S RAISE HELL IN ARCADIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this was one of the first chapters i wrote for this fic (or at least started to write) and i love it just. so much. 
> 
> ok i think that they're sophomores but i am in that Big Ass Mood of hating ib english and i may or may not have referenced my teacher whoops
> 
> anyways! stick around for next week when we get a special new addition to the group chat! (i'll let y'all guess who it is while ya wait)


	7. guess who bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone joins the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy it's alli comin thru with another chapter! how y'all doing? we got some new characters, maybe some drama hmmm??
> 
> anyways read on!

**gnomeo:** can i add someone to the group chat

**damnzalski:** who is it

**damnzalski:** if it’s steve don’t add him

**gnomeo:** it may or may not be nomura

**juliet:** uh no

**blinknwink:** How do you even have her number?

**gnomeo:** she texted me at like 2 AM

**blinknwink:** That makes sense, I suppose. Why would she text you in the first place, especially at 2 AM?

**gnomeo:** idk it wasn’t even anything important

**gnomeo:** it was a stupid picture of strickler

**gnomeo:** he was gnawing on that stupid pen while sitting on his desk and she was joking abt him being ‘at his finest’

**damnzalski:** why is she sendin u pictures of strickler

**gnomeo:** we made fun of him in the darklands

**damnzalski:** iconic

**juliet:** u know what? you’ve convinced me

**juliet:** let’s add her to the group

 

**gnomeo** added  **potterybitch** to the group

 

**potterybitch:** 1st off, that chat name is hilarious. 

**damnzalski:** ikr

**potterybitch:** 2nd off, what are you up to, kids? 

**blinknwink:** I’m not a child.

**blinknwink:** In fact, I’m older than you.

**potterybitch:** what are you up, misfits?

**blinknwink:** That’s not any better, but I’ll take it.

**damnzalski:** uhh nothin much

**potterybitch:** cool cool

**gnomeo:** u said u wanted to be added to this chat for a reason why

**potterybitch:** relax, little gynt. 

**potterybitch:** stricklander and i are still trying to find ways to help you stop gunmar and it would be easier to reach you as a group. 

**potterybitch:** and given the chat name, i do not think you want him in the group chat. 

**damnzalski:** i mean, yea, he kinda sucks

**juliet:** not even in my top three changelings

**gnomeo:** wait u have a top three

**juliet:** yea

**juliet:** notenrique, then nomura, then any changeling other than otto or strickler

**potterybitch:** i’m flattered. 

**blinknwink:** What about Krax?

**juliet:** technically he didn’t try to kill me so i guess he makes the top three

**blinknwink:** That’s a good qualification, I guess. 

**juliet:** he was pretty smart

**blinknwink:** About what?

**juliet:** i was wondering ‘why would a changeling buy so many gaggletacks? what’s the point?’ 

**juliet:** then i realized it he bought rotgut’s out of their gaggletacks so no one could try to use them to find him out

**blinknwink:** Unfortunately for him, it led to his discovery.

**blinknwink:** So, maybe not as smart as you say.

**juliet:** true

**juliet:** it was stupid in practice but smart in theory

**damnzalski:** tbh that’s my entire life

**gnomeo:** u should make that ur senior quote

**damnzalski:** claire i’m making that my senior quote

**juliet:** thx

**gnomeo:** honestly i think that’s a pretty fair way to describe like half the things i’ve done while being the trollhunter

**damnzalski:** like letting urself get shrunk

**gnomeo:** in my defense,

**juliet:** or going into the darklands

**gnomeo:** ,,,that’s fair

**potterybitch:** why do you text so much?

**juliet:** we’re teenagers stuck in class

**juliet:** what else are we gonna do

**juliet:** pay attention?

**gnomeo:** look when you’re sustaining off energy drinks and the occasional coffee w/o sleep paying attention is hard

**potterybitch:** ...are you ok?

**gnomeo:** no! thx for asking!

**damnzalski:** he sits in front of me in english and he keeps nodding off

**gnomeo:** why must u always call me out

**damnzalski:** no offense but as ur best friend it’s kinda my job

**juliet:** i would argue and try to defend u babe

**juliet:** but truthfully i do the same to darci and mary when i’m chillin with them so

**damnzalski:** honestly

**damnzalski:** is that why mary’s vandalizing more shit l8ly

**juliet:** probably

**damnzalski:** that girl sure loves her rebellion,,,

**juliet:** yea,,,

**juliet:** our shared love of rebellion brought us together

**blinknwink:** Fight the man!

**potterybitch:** i’m putting you all on mute

**gnomeo:** how to create long-lasting friendships: bond over ur love of rebelling against society

**juliet:** well how did u and toby become friends

**damnzalski:** well

**damnzalski:** i can’t really remember but it may have involved a cat

**gnomeo:** oh my god

**gnomeo:** when i was little i had a cat

**gnomeo:** little tabby named gabby bc i was like four when we got the cat

**damnzalski:** oh yes dear ol gabby mabby the tabby

**blinknwink:** You humans and your way of naming things is so adorable!

**gnomeo:** anyways it was like. two months after toby n his grandma moved in

**gnomeo:** and gabby had gotten lost

**gnomeo:** bc i was five it was the end of the world

**gnomeo:** my mom was just finishing up medical school at the time so my great uncle was watching me for the day and well

**damnzalski:** he was at my door crying and asking if i’d seen his cat

**gnomeo:** so we went looking for my cat together

**juliet:** that’s adorable

**gnomeo:** we found her hiding in a neighbor’s bushes

**damnzalski:** and we remained friends ever since

**potterybitch:** that’s sweet

**gnomeo:** i thought u had us on mute

**potterybitch:** i do

**potterybitch:** i’m on break

**juliet:** oh yea u have an actual job

**potterybitch:** yes, because i’m an actual adult

**blinknwink:** I am an actual adult, you know.

**gnomeo:** yeah it’s kinda hard to get a job with six eyes and four arms

**gnomeo:** humans aren’t really fond of that kinda stuff

**blinknwink:** Which is ridiculous, if you think about it.

**gnomeo:** people get weirded out if you have more than six fingers, humans are tricky lil bitches

**juliet:** the way u phrased this makes it seem like people have only six fingers

**juliet:** and that six fingers are the basic amount of fingers

**damnzalski:** well it is a dominant trait so

**juliet:** true

**damnzalski:** how do ppl with six fingers flip ppl off

**damnzalski:** like do they use two fingers or

**juliet:** ffs toby

**damnzalski:** IT’S A VALID QUESTION CLAIRE

**juliet:** well then if you’re so curious go find someone with six fingers and ask them

**damnzalski:** well that’s kinda rude

**damnzalski:** that’s like asking blinky if someone with four arms can dab with both pairs

**blinknwink:** I’ve seen humans dab. The answer is no.

**damnzalski:** thank you

**blinknwink:** You’re welcome, Tobias.

**potterybitch:** do you ever talk about anything important?

**juliet:** occasionally

**damnzalski:** you’ll get used to it

**potterybitch:** when did this become my life?

 

**potterybitch** has created the group  **tell them damnit**

 

**potterybitch** added  **gnomeo**

 

**potterybitch:** did u tell them?

**gnomeo:** no

**potterybitch:** when are you going to?

**gnomeo:** idk

**potterybitch:** this isn’t something you can just tell them out of the blue. clock’s ticking, little gynt. it’ll show soon.

**potterybitch:** sooner is better than later. 

**gnomeo:** it’s not that easy

**gnomeo:** idk how they’ll react

**gnomeo:** let alone every troll who’s ever looked up to the first  _ human  _ trollhunter

**potterybitch:** you’re blowing this out of proportion.

**potterybitch:** you don’t have to tell every troll who’s ever looked up to you.

**potterybitch:** tell your friends.

**potterybitch:** if they’re truly your friends, they will accept you no matter what you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many of y'all guessed that it would be nomura? (i guess if u looked on my tumblr i left a little hint there but whatever)  
> her username is inspired by me texting my friend in a hurry and making her help me come up with ideas  
> fortunately now that's she's revealed i can release all my memes! nice. 
> 
> can y'all guess what i'm hinting towards? hmmmmm
> 
> next chapter will be up next friday, as usual. some relationship drama featuring a ship i haven't yet gotten to talk about in this fine fic yet but we will see
> 
> leave a kudo n maybe a comment cuz i love hearing from you guys! seriously, y'all are great. i love you readers!


	8. oohHh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some playful teasing between friends - or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally,,,, some darby content up in this house,,,, yea
> 
> second chapter w/ nomura? yeah. get ready, kids

**gnomeo:** heeyyyy tobes

**damnzalski:** what

**juliet:** so i was hangin with mary last night

**damnzalski:** oh

**juliet:** and she had some interesting gossip

**damnzalski:** oh no

**juliet:** ;)

**gnomeo:** ;)

**juliet:** c’mon tp say it b4 i gotta

**damnzalski:** i hate u all

**blinknwink:** What is going on here?

**damnzalski:** these two little fucks are gangin up on me abt my love life

**juliet:** hE AND DARCI WERE KISSIN IN THE GYM

**damnzalski:** SHUT UP

**blinknwink:** Aha! I’m proud of you, Tobias.

**damnzalski:** uhhh can i die

**potterybitch:** no.

**damnzalski:** thx nomura

**potterybitch:** you’re welcome.

**juliet:** thank u for coming to the chat purely to roast toby?

**potterybitch:** anything for a friend.

**damnzalski:** is today ‘rag on toby’ day?

**gnomeo:** it seems so

**gnomeo:** usually it’s ‘rag on jim’ day so it’s ur turn now

**damnzalski:** okay yes me and darci were kissing but it was a lil kiss

**juliet:** mary didn’t make it seem like a little kiss ;)

**damnzalski:** okA Y but we weren’t full on makin out in the gym

**potterybitch:** thank you for the clarification.

**gnomeo:** can u give toby a break

**potterybitch:** maybe, but not today. 

**damnzalski:** gee thx

**gnomeo:** so u and darci huh?

**damnzalski:** yea.

**gnomeo:** give us the dets

**damnzalski:** why

**gnomeo:** this is revenge

**gnomeo:** u know what u did

**damnzalski:** ughhhh 

**gnomeo:** so

**juliet:** sooo

**blinknwink:** Let us know what is going on with you and Darci!

**damnzalski:** why must my own father betray me

**gnomeo:** u heard the troll, tell us the details

**damnzalski:** ok it was after a basketball game and she told me to meet her there so

**gnomeo:** was she still wearing her mascot costume

**damnzalski:** no

**gnomeo:** u furry

**damnzalski:** I SAID NO

**gnomeo:** still a furry

**damnzalski:** anyways so we were chillin in the gym and we kinda kissed a bit

**gnomeo:** a bit

**gnomeo:** true romance

**juliet:** like you’re one to talk

**gnomeo:** hey i can be romantic

**juliet:** yea but like

**juliet:** it took u forever for u to even try to make a move

**damnzalski:** she’s kinda right

**blinknwink:** You had the reputation of being a wuss.

**gnomeo:** i can’t believe this betrayal

**blinknwink:** You’ll survive a bit of injured pride, Master Jim.

**gnomeo:** thx blinky for those words of wisdom

**damnzalski:** do u wanna hear what else happened

**gnomeo:** plz say it wasn’t furry sex

**damnzalski:** it was not so go fuck urself

**damnzalski:** we went to that one diner

**gnomeo:** oh yeah that diner

**juliet:** did u forget the name of it cuz i did too

**gnomeo:** yep

**damnzalski:** totally now stop interrupting me

**damnzalski:** so we were chillin

**gnomeo:** cool

**damnzalski:** and we’re going to go see a movie next saturday

**gnomeo:** nICE

**juliet:** tp gettin some

**damnzalski:** let me live

**juliet:** no

**potterybitch:** you know where you should take her on a date? 

**damnzalski:** i am not taking darci on a date to the museum 

**potterybitch:** pity. i wanted to annoy you.

**potterybitch:** i was going to suggest a nice pizza place downtown, fleshbag. 

**potterybitch:** i don’t care that much about your relationship. 

**damnzalski:** oh

**damnzalski:** thx?

**potterybitch:** it’s called waluigi’s, they have a nice meat-lovers’.

**damnzalski:** waluigi.

**gnomeo:** oh my god

**damnzalski:** i’m definitely taking her there

**gnomeo:** nice

**damnzalski:** blinky can i skip training that day

**blinknwink:** Who am I to prevent you from pursuing young love?

**damnzalski:** um a bad person

**blinknwink:** Yes, you can skip training that day.

**blinknwink:** Of course, that means I must work Claire and Master Jim to their limit.

**gnomeo:** that’s not what that means.

**blinknwink:** I jest, I jest. 

**juliet:** nice capulet reference

**gnomeo:** thank god

**blinknwink:** But you will feel the burn.

**gnomeo:** that’s like prerequisite to trollhunter training tho

**damnzalski:** it’s given me pretty sick biceps tho

**gnomeo:** they are pretty sick

**juliet:** do u just

**juliet:** admire toby’s arms

**gnomeo:** can a bro not admire another bro’s arms

**damnzalski:** yea bro

**gnomeo:** u got some nice biceps bro

**damnzalski:** thx bro

**juliet:** i’m fighting the next person to say bro

**potterybitch:** bro.

**juliet:** nomura,,,, u wound me,,,,

**potterybitch:** cannot fight a changeling, huh?

**juliet:** i could but i can’t fight u at ur job

**potterybitch:** i could be at home. i could have the day off. 

**juliet:** i can’t fight AN ADULT

**juliet:** i could but not today

**gnomeo:** no adult fighting today

**juliet:** nope

**juliet:** ugh. laundry. gtg

 

**juliet** has created the group  **nightmares?**

 

**juliet** added  **blinknwink**

 

**juliet:** hey blink?

**juliet:** so remember that weird dream

**blinknwink:** How could I forget them?

**juliet:** the first one was pretty clear but i keep getting vague dreams featuring that pale lady again

**blinknwink:** Have you seen Angor Rot in any of your dreams?

**juliet:** i don’t think so

**blinknwink:** And they’ve just been vague visions?

**juliet:** yea

**juliet:** but things will be different than when i went to bed like

**juliet:** i woke up in a completely different set of pajamas once

**juliet:** and i always put my shadow staff in my drawer when i’m asleep but i keep finding it on my bedside table

**juliet:** so that’s not normal

**blinknwink:** My answer to your question is not the one you want to hear. 

**juliet:** i think i already know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waluigi's? nightmares? corruption? darby??
> 
> what's next for these kids? find out next chapter, when claire n nomura have a bit of a heart to heart 
> 
> leave a kudo, maybe some comments. i love when u guys leave me ideas bc this is all getting written in advance and it may take a while for your suggestion to make an appearance bc rn i'm literally writing uh. chapter 25 but i do love the inspiration! thank you all! just,,, i love you guys your comments always make my day great!


	9. fight like a girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Nomura have a one-on-one conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i am posting this basically a month from when i wrote it n wow. that's kinda amazing.
> 
> seriously i love all your support, it always make me smile to see a comment on this fic when i'm checking my phone between classes oh my god
> 
> anyways i've been excited to post this for a while bc it was a really fun chapter to write and i'm excited for you guys to see it!

**juliet:** hey guys can’t make it to training today

**damnzalski:** why?

**juliet:** chores :(

**gnomeo:** aw :(

**blinknwink:** Master Jim, Tobias, get off your phones. 

**juliet:** we can try to hang out this afternoon?

**gnomeo:** yea

**damnzalski:** i think blinky is bout to kill us so gtg

**juliet:** bye

 

**potterybitch** has created the group  **bitches get schist done**

 

**potterybitch** added  **juliet**

 

**potterybitch:** hello, fair claire. 

**juliet:** nomura?

**potterybitch:** who else would it be, strickler?

**potterybitch:** missing training?

**juliet:** yea u know. chores and all that. 

**potterybitch:** no offense, but i thought you were the kind of person to tell your mom to fuck off and sneak out of the house to training anyways. 

**juliet:** ok i’m not doing chores

**juliet:** you’re so right but also so wrong abt ur assumptions for me

**potterybitch:** so, why are you ditching training?

**juliet:** i’m not ditching training i’m just not feeling it

**juliet:** why is any of ur business anyways

**potterybitch:** you and i got off to a bad start. 

**potterybitch:** i thought i would make an attempt for us to become friends. 

**juliet:** that’s nice

**potterybitch:** but now i’m curious. why _are_ you avoiding training?

**juliet:** i didnt get much sleep last night so i 

**juliet:** ya know

**juliet:** i wanted to be on my a-game

**juliet:** kinda not a fan of getting my ass kicked in a sewer

**potterybitch:** i see. 

**juliet:** so how are you n strickler helping jim?

**juliet:** cuz other than adding u to the group chat he’s been pretty quiet about it

**potterybitch:** we’ve simply been giving him additional training, that’s all.

**potterybitch:** mostly me. strickler is MIA, for the moment.

**juliet:** so additional training? that’s it?

**potterybitch:** stricklander is trying to rally together other changelings to help us, but that’s difficult. 

**potterybitch:** changelings are stubborn. you would know that well. 

**juliet:** yea notenrique could be a tiny asshole at times

**potterybitch:** yes. notenrique. 

**potterybitch:** apparently dozens of our kind getting killed by gunmar himself isn’t enough motivation. 

**juliet:** yikes

**potterybitch:** i was going to go but  _ he’s  _ grand commandant since otto died and  _ i’m _ too much of a wild card. 

**juliet:** ugh

**potterybitch:** he was the one who had to be dragged out of hiding at a fucking beach. goddamn coward. 

**juliet:** so he was at a damn beach

**potterybitch:** yes. i was stuck in the darklands and he was at the beach. 

**juliet:** wow

**potterybitch:** so if you are not at training, what are you doing?

**juliet:** homework, dying, just average teenager things

**potterybitch:** i have not spent much time with teenagers (outside of training with the trollhunter) but that seems right. 

**juliet:** all teenagers just die and do homework. it’s part of the experience

**potterybitch:** you’re funny. 

**juliet:** i’ve been told. 

**potterybitch:** i heard about your experience with the shadow staff, by the way.

**juliet:** oh yea

**juliet:** me almost dying opening a portal to get a bunch of trolls outta trollmarket while draal was trying to break down the door? fun

**potterybitch:** what happened?

**juliet:** i blacked out

**juliet:** one minute i’m standing in the gyre station with my shadow staff in my hands, the next i’m waking up in argh!’s arms while jim looks like he’s about to have a heart attack

**potterybitch:** i’m not an expert on those kinds of weapons, but the shadow staff has a lot of dark magic in it. that can really fuck up a fleshbag like you.

**juliet:** yea. left me with a white streak in my hair

**juliet:** kinda badass but u know, the nightmares i keep getting aren’t worth it

**potterybitch:** nightmares?  

**juliet:** i guess training is over cuz someone’s at the door so gtg

**potterybitch:** wait. one more thing, while it’s on my mind. 

**juliet:** what

**potterybitch:**  you said jim had not talked at all about our training?

**juliet:** yea why

**potterybitch:** i don’t know. 

**potterybitch:** there just might be some things you don’t know about him. 

**juliet:** what kind of things

**potterybitch:** well, you can ask him yourself. 

**potterybitch:** don’t tell him i told you. just ask about our training.

**juliet:** why r u telling me this

**potterybitch:** matters are desperate, fair claire. if he tells you, he’s ready.

**juliet:** well that was cryptic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so? why is claire ditching training? what's nomura implying? what's gonna happen next?
> 
> well,,, technically next chapter it's a more fun chapter about well. a lot of things. so stick around for that
> 
> if u like, leave a kudo or maybe a comment!


	10. betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh what's gonna happen? guess you'll have to read to find out :P
> 
> i've worked on this chapter for longer than i usually work on a chapter bc i keep going back so it might be one of my longer chapters
> 
> i hope u all enjoy it!

**juliet:** toby is. disowned

**damnzalski:** okay that’s a little extreme

**damnzalski:** considering it was my phone that got tossed out the window

**gnomeo:** ok i need some context here

**juliet:** while u were training with nomura we were working on a project for bio 

**damnzalski:** i started playing music from my spotify but then a pop song came on and

**damnzalski:** SHEENA HERE FUCKING THREW MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW

**juliet:** YOU THREW UR OWN PHONE OUT OF THE WINDOW

**gnomeo:** wHAT HAPPENED

**juliet:** i was trying to skip the song

**damnzalski:** by taking my phone?

**juliet:** i 

**juliet:** ok i may have overreacted

**juliet:** but u did throw ur phone out of the window in response

**damnzalski:** you got me there

**gnomeo:** wait how are you texting

**damnzalski:** it was only slightly fucked

**damnzalski:** despite bouncing off the roof and falling a story onto the ground

**juliet:** there was a bit of trouble but it was mostly ok

**damnzalski:** thx to my trollproof phone case

**gnomeo:** oh my god

**damnzalski:** yea u remember the first time we met vendel?

**damnzalski:** he mistook me for the trollhunter and crushed my phone within two minutes of meeting me

**damnzalski:** i miss him

**juliet:** u were terrible at impersonating and i’m still wondering how you didn’t immediately get sacked by those troll guards

**gnomeo:** i missed like five different points of topic here wHAT

**damnzalski:** we had to exchange his staff for the creeper’s sun antidote

**damnzalski:** so i used a glamour mask to impersonate him

**damnzalski:** fun times

**damnzalski:** shit i think i might have hit ur cat

**juliet:** why can’t mercutio get a break

**potterybitch:** that’s a cute name for a cat.

**potterybitch:** but why is your cat always in harm’s way?

**blinknwink:** Why is that whenever Tobias and Claire get into a disagreement, disaster follows?

**blinknwink:** I still remember the curse incident.

**gnomeo:** what curse incident?

**damnzalski:** uh

**juliet:** oh no

**juliet:** blinky don’t expose us this way

**gnomeo:** blinky????

**blinknwink:** It’s been two months, he deserves to know.

**potterybitch:** now i’m curious as well. what happened?

**gnomeo:** two months??

**gnomeo:** what the fuck did they do????

**blinknwink:** Remember that package?

**juliet:** toby may have opened it and

**damnzalski:** hey

**gnomeo:** y’all had one job

**juliet:** Y’ALL

**damnzalski:** i may have accidentally gotten cursed

**damnzalski:** then cursed claire

**damnzalski:** then ur house

**gnomeo:** uM MY HOUSE

**gnomeo:** my literal goddamn house got fuckin CURSED???

**gnomeo:** so that’s why it was such a goddamn mess,,,

**potterybitch:** you cursed his house?

**juliet:** good news is i made a portal into trollmarket and vendel transferred the curse into toby’s hammer

**damnzalski:** why do u think it’s so badass

**blinknwink:** It was an interesting afternoon.

**juliet:** why are u blaming it on us fighting?

**blinknwink:** I assumed it was because you two were fighting.

**blinknwink:** After all, there was that sparring incident.

**gnomeo:** are u fuckin telling me that while waltolomew was trying to piss me off in his quest of making my life a living hell and steve was fighting me in my quest to become the goddamn spring fling motherfucking king yall were fuckin up

**juliet:** the yall makes a comeback

**damnzalski:** tbf

**damnzalski:** if u had looked behind u for two seconds u could’ve seen me hanging onto the flagpole for dear life

**gnomeo:** steve was all up in my face being a fucking asshole i was kinda distracted

**damnzalski:** it was an accident and i didn’t know i would nearly die while floating up into the sky

**damnzalski:** [almost threw hands with a baby.jpg]

**damnzalski:** notenrique was no help

**gnomeo:** he doesn’t get paid enough for this

**gnomeo:** when i was at claire’s bbq and the clones happened he tried to swing by, saw me sitting with a shit ton of clones, and noped the fuck out of there

**juliet:** noped the fuck out of there

**gnomeo:** he actually did just say ‘nope’ and immediately leave

**gnomeo:** that was after spanish jim asked him how he was doing

**damnzalski:** spanish jim?

**gnomeo:** i named the clones bc it made it easier

**gnomeo:** there was love drunk jim, hunter jim, scaredy jim, grit shaka/crispy jim, sad jim, bitch jim, chef jim, and then finally spanish jim

**juliet:** i called love drunk jim the lust demon from the 2nd circle of hell but whatever

**damnzalski:** are u telling me there was a clone that was u on the grit shaka

**juliet:** he tried to fight coach lawerence after showing off his dance moves and it was disturbing

**juliet:** i hated him

**gnomeo:** me too tf

**potterybitch:** sometimes i look at this group chat, and i wonder how you bunch could stop bular with all the crazy shit you are always getting up too. 

**gnomeo:** ha

**gnomeo:** i regret all of my life choices

**potterybitch:** i feel that.

**damnzalski:** wait wait bitch jim?

**gnomeo:** remember me in seventh grade?

**damnzalski:** fuck. no.

**juliet:** what was up in seventh grade

**gnomeo:** puberty.

**damnzalski:** it was a mess

**damnzalski:** it was a difficult time for our friendship

**damnzalski:** it was a war zone

**gnomeo:** i wasn’t that bad

**gnomeo:** a little cranky for a few months but i grew out of it

**juliet:** YOU DUMPED AN ENTIRE BOWL OF GUACAMOLE ON MY FUCKING FLOOR

**juliet:** and hit poor mercutio while u were at it

**juliet:** seriously, i think this is starting to become an animal abuse situation

**damnzalski:** that seems like it

**gnomeo:** i never dumped an entire bowl of guacamole on ur floor tobes

**damnzalski:** but i think you slammed my door so hard you almost knocked it off my hinges

**gnomeo:** it was a tough day

**damnzalski:** and that was before it had been handled by a troll or two

**gnomeo:** ok then

**gnomeo:** this is the day to judge all of my life choices huh

**damnzalski:** yea

**juliet:** basically

**potterybitch:** always.

**gnomeo:** don’t call me out like this nomura

**potterybitch:** you can’t stop me, little gynt.

**gnomeo:** bc u started this toby, know that i have dirt on u from eighth grade. u know what happened. 

**damnzalski:** u wouldn’t bring that up

**gnomeo:** don’t think i won’t

**damnzalski:** jimbo plz

**juliet:** what?

**gnomeo:** later

**blinknwink:** Human puberty seems like the most troubling of times.

**gnomeo:** yea i almost died twice

**damnzalski:** oh u mean u almost passing out during gym bc u were being an idiot

**gnomeo:** SHUT UP TOBES

**gnomeo:** this is not the time to talk about that

**damnzalski:** that was still a stupid fucking idea

**gnomeo:** yea yea and if it wasn’t for u my ribs would be fuckin shit i’ve heard this speech fifteen times

**juliet:** what

**gnomeo:** long story i don’t want to talk about it

**gnomeo:** and tobias fucking domzalski is not allowed to talk abt it at the goddamn moment bc he fucks it up

**damnzalski:** i tell it as it happened? fuck man

**juliet:** i regret not meeting u until high school cuz i’m missing out on all the fun stories

**gnomeo:** you should be happy u missed this one then

**damnzalski:** it wasn’t a fun story i almost murdered him in the locker room

**gnomeo:** we had a big fight

**juliet:** oh my god

**damnzalski:** but obviously we made up now

**gnomeo:** after u gave me a five-minute lecture

**damnzalski:** yea but U FUCKING DESERVED IT

**gnomeo:** i really did

**gnomeo:** yea u stopped me from really fuckin myself and my rib cage up

**gnomeo:** u were there for me through and through

**potterybitch:** this is a cute bonding moment and all, but i’m so confused.

**juliet:** me too

**blinknwink:** Blame it on puberty.

**juliet:** wait what was the second time

**damnzalski:** food poisoning. 

 

**juliet** has created the group  **we need to talk**

 

**juliet** added  **gnomeo** **  
  
**

**juliet:** so you and nomura have been training a lot lately

**juliet:** how’s it been going?

**gnomeo:** uh

**gnomeo:** pretty well i guess

**juliet:** we were talking and she mentioned smth

**juliet:** she wasn’t really specific but um

**gnomeo:** what?

**juliet:** nvm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for anyone who thought it would be angsty and plot-relevant (that's next week!)
> 
> yep! next week secrets do actually get revealed (well, at least to our gang of trollhunters) but i hoped u enjoyed this light-hearted chapter b4 some serious shit goes down
> 
> y'all know the drill, maybe leave a kudo or a comment, love you guys! u keep me writing!


	11. hoo shit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An actually important secret is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay so last night i didn't get a lot of sleep bc i got up to watch the new season of voltron (then immediately went back to sleep) so i almost forgot to post this morning but i was logging in to my laptop when i realized HOLY FUCK so thank whatever fucking deity u want that i actually remembered to post this
> 
> man. this is what i've been building up to. CONFIRMATION TO ALL MY SWEET READERS WHO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON
> 
> GET READY Y'ALL

**gnomeo:** anyone on?

**juliet:** yea what’s up

**damnzalski:** is something wrong

**gnomeo:** yea uh

**gnomeo:** i’ve gotta tell u guys smth

**potterybitch:** finally. 

**gnomeo:** kindly shut up zelda

**damnzalski:** zelda?

**gnomeo:** if youre not gonna help me out here u can just leave

**potterybitch:** no, go ahead. sorry. 

**gnomeo:** can u do it then

**potterybitch:** jim is half-changeling. 

**gnomeo:** yea

**gnomeo:** guys?

**juliet:** when did you find out?

**gnomeo:** uh

**gnomeo:** after everything in trollmarket 

**gnomeo:** there was the deep but then strickler and nomura

**gnomeo:** they told me that my father was a changeling

**potterybitch:** james lake sr. was a prestigious member of the janus order, until he had a child. then he vanished for seven years, when the janus order caught up to him. 

**damnzalski:** oh

**damnzalski:** fuck

**potterybitch:** he’s not dead, james is simply part of the new england branch now. second-in-command over there. 

**damnzalski:** ohh

**potterybitch:** we talked once or twice and i hated him. but i never knew he had a son. 

**damnzalski:** fuckin douchebag

**damnzalski:** i wish he was dead

**gnomeo:** actually i think my mom’s home i gtg

**juliet:** jim

**gnomeo:** we can talk about it later

**damnzalski:** we’re always here, you know

**gnomeo:** i know. 

 

**gnomeo** has left the group

 

**juliet:** is that what u meant nomura

**potterybitch:** i wanted to give him time, but he needed a bit of a push. 

**damnzalski:** are half-changelings common?

**potterybitch:** yes, and no. there are many half-changelings, or halflings as some changelings call them, out there who were raised as humans and still think they are. 

**potterybitch:** the genes lay dormant in the DNA. there’s a possibility any human has a bit of DNA from a distant changeling ancestor, especially from before the formation of the janus order. sometimes a more trollish trait will present itself, but those can be passed off as simple oddities. 

**potterybitch:** usually, halflings stay separate from the world of trolls but then - well. you know what happened. 

**potterybitch:** those dormant genes can start to present themselves with exposure to certain objects. 

**blinknwink:** Do you mean The Decimar Blade? 

**potterybitch:** yes.  

**potterybitch:** the magic of gunmar’s decimar blade is similar to the process of converting an average troll to a changeling. i assume you have seen its power in work before. 

**potterybitch:** he resisted its effects, but he was not completely unexposed. 

**damnzalski:** so what’s going to happen to him

**potterybitch:** we cannot say. 

**damnzalski:** so you don’t know, or you just don’t care to tell us?

**potterybitch:** we don’t know. 

**potterybitch:** we’re not experts on everything about changelings

**damnzalski:** is there anyway stop it or slow it or

**potterybitch:** what part of we don’t know do you not understand?

**damnzalski:** i want to know how to fucking help my friend

**potterybitch:** you know what you do?

**potterybitch:** you stay by his side like you did during those tough years of puberty. you support him. you don’t shun him. 

**potterybitch:** claire, are you still there?

**juliet:** yes. 

**potterybitch:** blinky?

**blinknwink:** Yes. 

**potterybitch:** add him back to the group chat

 

**damnzalski** added  **gnomeo**

 

**damnzalski:** we’re here for you, man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea. yea. yea. that happened
> 
> sooo what do u think is gonna happen next chapter? am i just gonna throw this info out then forget about it or will there actually be a plot line? we'll see next week :P


	12. changelings interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief interruption from our sponsors, the Janus Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hA ok time for some of that Real Shit
> 
> and my least favorite avocado is here but since y'all seem to love him u got him
> 
> enjoy!

**potterybitch** has created the group  **impure hoes**

 

**potterybitch** added  **waltstrickler** and  **gnomeo**

 

**waltstrickler:** Could you not instantly fuck up one simple text, Nomura?

**potterybitch:** could get some fucking humor, stricklander? 

**waltstrickler:** Can you just change it?

**potterybitch:** no. 

**gnomeo:** why

**potterybitch:** blame stricklander. 

**gnomeo:** can i just leave

**waltstrickler:** No. 

**gnomeo:** rude

**potterybitch:** the kid is tired, can this wait until the morning?

**waltstrickler:** Once again, no. 

**waltstrickler:** I’m afraid something new has come up. 

**gnomeo:** what is it?

**waltstrickler:** Our little friend is back. 

**gnomeo:** no not that bitch

**potterybitch:** who?

**waltstrickler:** Angor Rot. 

**gnomeo:** and we destroyed the only thing that could contain him

**gnomeo:** wait wait wait

**gnomeo:** i turned him to stone right before toby smashed him into like a thousand pieces

**gnomeo:** how is he just up and killing people?

**waltstrickler:** That’s the thing. He hasn’t been killing people. 

**waltstrickler:** It seems he’s sided with Gunmar.

**gnomeo:** they’re working together?

**waltstrickler:** Well, not exactly. He and Gunmar are more in alliance than in kahoots. But there has been rumors of a middle man between the two of them. 

**potterybitch:** wait a moment. 

**potterybitch:** where are you getting this information?

**waltstrickler:** I have someone on the inside. 

**waltstrickler:** A changeling who was easily swayed while I was trying to convince the Janus Order to fight against the Gumm-Gumms. 

**waltstrickler:** She contacted me early this morning to warn me.

**gnomeo:** have you heard anything else about this middle man?

**waltstrickler:** They say that they are a servant under the Pale Lady herself. 

**waltstrickler:** They speak for her, but they are not often seen. A silent advisor of Gunmar, whispering secrets of the enemy’s attacks in his ear. 

**waltstrickler:** I only wanted to warn you two to beware of your own alliances. 

**waltstrickler:** You may leave now, young Atlas, and let the adults converse. 

**gnomeo:** i’ll just get some sleep then 

**potterybitch:** goodnight, little gynt. 

 

**gnomeo** has left the group

 

**potterybitch:** i think i know who it is. 

**waltstrickler:** I already know who it is. 

**waltstrickler:** Do you think I would not know my own students by description?

**potterybitch:** i mean, you have tried to kill more than one.

**waltstrickler:** I know who she was talking about. That was the point.

**waltstrickler:** Stop thwarting my quips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOh spicy what's gonna happen next? well, next chapter, everyone's favorite trollhunting trio finally gets out for the summer (i say, dying in the cold slow change from winter to spring uhghh)
> 
> if u enjoyed leave a kudo n maybe leave a comment if you're feeling particularly ambitious! god i'm so excited but this is where shit really starts to hit the fan


	13. let these kids sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School's out for summer, but there's no break for these kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this literally months ago but just yesterday my friends had to bail out on getting lunch with us to nap at someone's house and that, my friends, is the true high school experience.
> 
> anyways i almost forgot to post this (again) bc i'm so tired but hey!! here it is!! this is just some light filler

**damnzalski:** SUMMER VACATION BITCH

**gnomeo:** it is exactly 2:31 can u wait about twenty nine minutes

**damnzalski:** no fuck u

**gnomeo:** fight me

**juliet:** can we just appreciate summer break and how it’s almost here

**gnomeo:** no bc my summer is going to be spent preparing for fighting gunmar to the death before school starts up probably

**juliet:** you right

**blinknwink:** We will give you some time to yourself, Master Jim, but we cannot let Gunmar become too powerful. 

**gnomeo:** i know i know

**gnomeo:** but 2day i am going home and sleeping 

**damnzalski:** i second that notion

**juliet:** blinky let us sleep,,,, plz

**potterybitch:** let the children sleep, blinkous. 

**blinknwink:** I was going to let them!

**potterybitch:** good. 

**potterybitch:** i think jim almost passed out during our training yesterday. 

**gnomeo:** finals are stressful, zelda

**potterybitch:** why? why must you betray me like this?

**gnomeo:** bc u exposed me almost passing out

**potterybitch:** i guess that’s fair. 

**damnzalski:** james joseph lake junior get some sleep or i will come over and lay on you until you do

**juliet:** your middle name is joseph?

**gnomeo:** honestly? fuckin go ahead? toby get ur ass over here and nap on my couch

**juliet:** jjl jr. that’s too many fucking j’s what the fuck

**damnzalski:** are u. are u actually gonna make me nap on ur couch

**gnomeo:** yes

**juliet:** can i join

**gnomeo:** yes

**gnomeo:** we’re all sleeping on my couch

**juliet:** nice

**gnomeo:** what better way to bring in the summer

**damnzalski:** wait can we all fit on ur house

**gnomeo:** my couch can fit us all shh

**gnomeo:** wait a second

**damnzalski:** i just realized i said house

**juliet:** WE’LL SLEEP ON YOUR ROOF

**damnzalski:** DON’T

**damnzalski:** i will FIGHT u on JIM’S ROOF

**gnomeo:** plz don’t

**gnomeo:** why must u get into fights

**damnzalski:** you say that like i get into fights all the time

**gnomeo:** there was that one time in middle school

**juliet:** why do all the interesting things happen in middle school

**juliet:** what happened

**gnomeo:** toby punched a dude bc he was bein a dick to us

**damnzalski:** ok it had been a really stressful day and he tried to steal my bike so i just

**damnzalski:** punched him

**potterybitch:** hold on. 

**gnomeo:** yea

**potterybitch:** this tiny fleshbag punched a dude?

**damnzalski:** i take offense to that

**damnzalski:** i’m not that small

**juliet:** you’re shorter than both of us

**gnomeo:** you’re 5’0”

**damnzalski:** five feet AND HALF AN INCH get it right

**damnzalski:** i was taller than u when we were kids

**gnomeo:** no u weren’t

**damnzalski:** i was for a year

**gnomeo:** that’s not an accurate enough amount of time

**juliet:** sometimes i’m happy i didn’t know either of u until fairly recently bc then u can’t pull up my childhood

**gnomeo:** there’s mary

**gnomeo:** weren’t u guys friends b4 u transferred to our school

**juliet:** shit u know my weakness

**gnomeo:** there’s always the group chat

**potterybitch:** wait, you guys have another group chat?

**gnomeo:** it’s with some classmates we got detention with once 

**damnzalski:** and steve

**gnomeo:** steve isn’t one of our classmates now?

**damnzalski:** no he is not

**gnomeo:** damn are you just disowning him now

**damnzalski:** i have always disowned steve palchuk

**gnomeo:** u cant’t just diso

**gnomeo:** IT’S SUMMER VACATION

**damnzalski:** timE TO FUCKIN SLEEP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo did u like the chapter? yea u probably did. and if u did, leave a kudo or a comment! seriously, i always love reading your comments.
> 
> next week - some more darby n maybe a bit of another ship y'all haven't seen from me yet ;)


	14. summer lovin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love's in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has one of my favorite lines tbh
> 
> anyways! yo! here's another chapter! enjoy

**damnzalski:** heyyyy guess who’s got a fuckin girlfriend?

**juliet:** mary?

**damnzalski:** no but u gotta get me in on that gossip

**potterybitch:** so who is it?

**damnzalski:** it’s me guys

**gnomeo:** who made it official

**damnzalski:** she did

**gnomeo:** nomura u owe me ten bucks

**potterybitch:** aw shucks.

**damnzalski:** wow jimbo were u betting on me??

**gnomeo:** have to pass the time sometime

**potterybitch:** we talk about the weirdest shit when we’re on break during our training sessions.

**gnomeo:** we make fun of strickler a lot n talk about changeling stuff

**potterybitch:** and that rather interesting conversation on how changelings reproduce.

**gnomeo:** i wanted to know if it was more common for changelings to mother or father halflings

**potterybitch:** fathering. so you’re in luck, little gynt. ;)

**juliet:** nomura? using emojis? it’s more likely than you think

**gnomeo:** ha sure i am

**potterybitch:** what?

**gnomeo:** what

**juliet:** what

**gnomeo:** so how did ur date go

**damnzalski:** pretty good

**damnzalski:** we went to waluigi’s

**gnomeo:** god

**damnzalski:** and then we ended up just milling around town for a few hours

**juliet:** that’s so cute

**damnzalski:** [i definitely bought this.jpg]

**gnomeo:** that’s a stupid fuckin shirt

**juliet:** but like. it’s stupid in a good way

**damnzalski:** ikr

**blinknwink:** I congratulate the two of you on the officiating of your courtship!

**gnomeo:** hey u never congratulated me n claire and the officiating of our courtship

**juliet:** what's up w/ that blinky

**blinknwink:** Well, that was after you inadvertently created about nine clones of yourself. It wasn’t exactly the time for congrats.

**damnzalski:** call him out blink

**juliet:** that’s fair

**damnzalski:** so who’s mary dating

**juliet:** oh she and shannon apparently are a thing now?

**damnzalski:** so who was she sexting

**juliet:** god,,,

**potterybitch:** she was sexting god?

**blinknwink:** I don’t even want to ask. 

**juliet:** SHE WAS NOT SEXTING GOD

**juliet:** fuck

**juliet:** THEY GOT TOGETHER AFTER THAT I

**juliet:** i h8 this family and i would gladly accept death rn

**gnomeo:** thx

**juliet:** babe

**damnzalski:** how can one thing turn into THIS

**juliet:** SEXTING GOD

**damnzalski:** power move: sexting god

**blinknwink:** I really do not understand your humor sometimes.

**gnomeo:** don’t worry it’s not meant to be understood

**potterybitch:** your human god has a phone, and he uses it to sext people.

**gnomeo:** nOMURA

**damnzalski:** that’s prime shitposting right there

**potterybitch:** i’ve had to adapt to 200 years of humor, i can adapt to this.

**potterybitch:** stricklander cannot.

**gnomeo:** drag him

**gnomeo:** did u ever change the group chat name back

**potterybitch:** no.

**potterybitch:** stricklander, in all honesty, is an impure hoe.

**damnzalski:** sjigsgm i love dragging waltolomew

**damnzalski:** walTHOTomew

**damnzalski:** angor thot

**gnomeo:** he’s gotten too powerful

**gnomeo:** help us 

**blinknwink:** This chat has become a mess. 

**damnzalski:** thx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slippin in that marynon casually lol
> 
> so! i might space out when i post chapters from every friday to every other friday bc i need more time to work on l8r chapters so this is just an update on that schedule
> 
> if you liked this chapter leave a kudo n maybe a comment? yyea have a good friday my dudes! love you all! <3


	15. brush ur teeth kiddos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some tooth-related incidents occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh holy shit this is later than i usually post but! here it is! i hope y'all like it
> 
> this is actually a uh. very long chapter whoops.

**gnomeo:** tobes

**damnzalski:** what

**gnomeo:** remember when u got ur braces on

**damnzalski:** i wish i didn’t

**gnomeo:** well now i know why u were layin on my couch holdin an ice pack to ur face for like an hour

**gnomeo:** [fangs.jpg]

**gnomeo:** at least they’re pretty tiny now

**damnzalski:** those are so tiny oh my god they’re adorable

**gnomeo:** theY HURT

**gnomeo:** i’ve bitten my tongue like five times

**juliet:** please don’t bite my lips

**gnomeo:** what 

**gnomeo:** bites aren’t sexy?

**gnomeo:** ;)

**damnzalski:** stop being kinky

**gnomeo:** i’ll stop when u stop being a furry

**damnzalski:** I’M NOT A FURRY

**gnomeo:** that’s a fucking lie

**juliet:** bites are not sexy, babe

**gnomeo:** free piercings

**juliet:** that’s not how it works jim

**gnomeo:** keep up ur aesthetic

**juliet:** and if u bite my lip with those tiny fangs i will make a portal to the void and tell kanjigar

**damnzalski:** that’s such a specific threat that i’m pretty sure you can’t fulfill

**damnzalski:** i don’t think u can portal into the void but whatever

**gnomeo:** oh well

**damnzalski:** i’m coming over i want to see these in person

**gnomeo:** if u must

**gnomeo:** do u have ice cream

**damnzalski:** coincidentally we just picked up a pint of salted caramel

**gnomeo:** oh my god

**gnomeo:** my favorite

**gnomeo:** sorry babe but i need to immediately marry toby rn

**juliet:** wow tp just stealin my man?

**damnzalski:** always

**damnzalski:** i can affirm they’re cuter in person

**gnomeo:** plz,,, give me a break

**gnomeo:** i am in pain

**gnomeo:** and tOBY JUST FUCKIN GRABBED MY JAW WHEN HE WALKED IN

**damnzalski:** THEY’RE ON UR UPPER JAW

**gnomeo:** THEY’RE GROWING IN ON MY LOWER JAW TOO

**gnomeo:** i didn’t grab ur jaw when u got ur braces

**damnzalski:** that’s fair

**damnzalski:** but u have squished my cheeks so this is revenge

**gnomeo:** that was. once. 

**juliet:** are u two texting in the same room

**gnomeo:** talking hurts

**damnzalski:** he’s eating

**gnomeo:** it’s hard to eat when you’re growing a new set of canines

**damnzalski:** so basically he’s eating ice cream and mashed potatoes for the next two weeks

**damnzalski:** he will know my pain

**gnomeo:** it was a miserable two weeks

**damnzalski:** bad teeth runs in the family

**damnzalski:** apparently my dad had bad teeth too but idk bout my grandfather

**damnzalski:** never knew much bout him but whatever

**gnomeo:** hm

**gnomeo:** i think i’m dying

**damnzalski:** u baby u want me to go grab u some ibuprofen 

**gnomeo:** yes plzzz

**potterybitch:** aw, look at our little halfling. his teeth are finally growing in.

**gnomeo:** i will fight you

**potterybitch:** i’ll win.

**gnomeo:** i’ll lose idfc 

**gnomeo:** owww

**gnomeo:** i accidentally bit the spoon

**juliet:** gr8 job babe

**damnzalski:** ffs jimothy

**damnzalski:** hOW DID U BEND THE SPOON

**damnzalski:** LOOK AT THIS

**damnzalski:** [WHAT THE FUCK.jpg]

**juliet:** he looks like the saddest puppy dog oh my god

**juliet:** give him a break

**gnomeo:** it’s a plastic spoon

**gnomeo:** chill

**potterybitch:** at least he’s not biting through solid metal.

**gnomeo:** wait is that a thing changelings can do

**potterybitch:** you’ve met your fair share of trolls. do you think that they can’t break through metal?

**damnzalski:** you’ve seen arrrgh chompin down on vhs tapes why are you surprised

**gnomeo:** idk i think that ibuprofen is gettin to me

**damnzalski:** u can’t get high off ibuprofen

**gnomeo:** nomura can changelings get high off ibuprofen

**potterybitch:** no. 

**potterybitch:** i’m no medical expert, but i doubt anyone can get high off of ibuprofen.

**gnomeo:** then that’s the sleep deprivation

**damnzalski:** take a nap

**gnomeo:** no

**gnomeo:** it’s 9 am and i’m not a child

**damnzalski:** ugh 

**damnzalski:** if u thought jim was stubborn n overdramatic b4 u don’t know him when he’s in pain

**gnomeo:** i’m right beside u and i will fight u

**damnzalski:** he has fallen on me and refused to let go once bc he had a stomach ache

**gnomeo:** i have no recollection of this

**damnzalski:** u were at my house and u fell asleep on me while i was playing video games

**gnomeo:** oh yea

**gnomeo:** in my defense u were very warm

**gnomeo:** very soothing.

**juliet:** nomura is it normal for trolls to be like cats

**potterybitch:** what am i, a troll expert?

**potterybitch:** i don’t know. 

**juliet:** well i would ask blinky but i haven’t heard from him in like. three days

**gnomeo:** yea usually he’d be here curious bout everything

**juliet:** he’s probably caught up with leading the trolls n stuff

**gnomeo:** yea besides it’s hard to get good signals in the sewers

**gnomeo:** trollmarket’s one thing, literal sewers are another

**damnzalski:** i mean if i could get service inside gatto’s stomach there’s service down there

**damnzalski:** even tho those fees were. terrible. 

**gnomeo:** how is he even getting service

**gnomeo:** is he on a phone plan

**juliet:** i think he started one when he was human and just. somehow always pays those bills

**gnomeo:** so,,, is draal on his phone plan

**gnomeo:** or was he

**juliet:** i mean,,,, probably

**potterybitch:** no offense, but this is the stupid conversation i’ve ever witnessed in this chat.

**potterybitch:** who cares about how blinky is getting service? it’s probably magic.

**damnzalski:** it’s a valid concern nomura

**juliet:** yea

**gnomeo:** maybe he didn’t pay his phone bill

**potterybitch:** how would he even get his phone bill?

**gnomeo:** he has a PO box

**damnzalski:** sometimes he asks me to pick up his mail

**damnzalski:** other times he’s made notenrique break in to get it

**damnzalski:** it’s hilarious

**damnzalski:** you haven’t experienced true humor until u see a tiny little changeling trying to get through trollmarket with mail in his mouth

**gnomeo:** i think i’m going to go die now

**damnzalski:** guess that’s my cue to actually go home

**gnomeo:** wait can u put the ice cream in the fridge

**damnzalski:** do u want me to grab u some ice

**gnomeo:** plz?

**damnzalski:** yea

**gnomeo:** toby i would die for u

**damnzalski:** plz don’t

**blinknwink:** I’m sorry for disappearing, but I have terrible news. 

**damnzalski:** what is it?

**blinknwink:** Angor Rot’s alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH SHIT WHAT'S GOING DOWN
> 
> ik what's goin down but u won't know until next week hehehe
> 
> leave a kudo or maybe a comment on what u think is going on my dudes


	16. angor thot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angor Rot, Gunmar, and spies, oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i just checked how many pages on google docs i've written for this so far and it's - 101 pages. wow. i'm not even finished like literally, i have a chapter i barely started in between chapters 27 n 29 that i should probably work on so i hope y'all are in it for the long haul
> 
> so! enjoy this while i get back into actually writing it bc ha. well. i haven't actually written anything for this story in so long

**juliet:** oh no

**damnzalski:** that motherfucker is alive?

**damnzalski:** i smashed that dick to pieces with my hammer

**gnomeo:** out of context that would sound very inappropriate but

**potterybitch:** about a week ago, stricklander reached out to us about concerns that he may be alive.

**juliet:** a week ago?

**potterybitch:** he said that angor rot and gunmar were suspected to be working closely together.

**juliet:** why didn’t you tell us sooner?

**potterybitch:** it slipped my mind.

**potterybitch:** he also mentioned that there was a servant of the pale lady working with gunmar.

**potterybitch:** someone who spoke on her behalf.

**juliet:** oh

**blinknwink:** Oh dear.

**gnomeo:** how did u find out abt angor rot?

**blinknwink:** A few days ago, trolls started disappearing. 

**blinknwink:** There was panic, and I was preoccupied by trying to cease the chaos. 

**blinknwink:** One night, I happened to catch the culprit.

**gnomeo:** angor rot.

**blinknwink:** Exactly.

**blinknwink:** We don’t know if he’s killing them or simply bringing them to Gunmar to for his army.

**blinknwink:** But he’s been taking trolls for five days now.

**juliet:** they’re probably for his army.

**gnomeo:** what?

**juliet:** idk i just know they’re for his army

**potterybitch:** hm.

**damnzalski:** oh

**potterybitch:** claire, did you know you were a spy for gunmar?

**juliet:** not until right now, honestly

**juliet:** my dreams have been vague at best and horrifying at worst but i haven’t seen anything since that angor rot dream

**juliet:** which is pretty fucking worrying now that we know how that turned out    
**blinknwink:** Well, then we’ve reached a bit of a conundrum here. 

**gnomeo:** nomura

**potterybitch:** still here.

**gnomeo:** after i left the group chat did u and strickler talk abt any other plans

**potterybitch:** we can talk about it at training.

**potterybitch:** do you think you’ll be up to it today?

**gnomeo:** my mouth still hurts but i think i’ll manage

**blinknwink:** Oh! Your teeth!

**gnomeo:** yea

**blinknwink:** How do they feel? 

**gnomeo:** bad

**blinknwink:** Thank you for being so descriptive, Master Jim.

**gnomeo:** it hurts as much as you would think growing four extra teeth out of nowhere would hurt

**gnomeo:** no precursor just surprise  _ die _

**damnzalski:** can u chill

**gnomeo:** no

**blinknwink:** I cannot help you there.

**gnomeo:** so there’s no magic troll artifact to speed up the growing process

**damnzalski:** if there was i would’ve used it to have that growth spurt already

**gnomeo:** true true

**potterybitch:** well then, we can have training early today. i have the day off.

**gnomeo:** fine

**gnomeo:** i hope i don’t have to go to the dentist anytime soon

**damnzalski:** oh my god i have an appointment today n my orthodontist is going to kill me

 

**gnomeo** has created the group  **back-up**

 

**gnomeo** added  **cheddarjohn** and  **springflingking**

 

**gnomeo:** we need your help

**springflingking:** again?

**gnomeo:** steve shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo what are steve n eli doing here? if u think you'll find out next chapter, ha. maybe. probably not.
> 
> anywho if u liked this chapter comment or leave a nice kudo bc i love u all so much
> 
> srsly i'm always amazed at how popular this fic got! oh my gosh.


	17. guardolo crujiente

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drastic change is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo yo! yea here's another chapter from ya girl alli
> 
> i got an important thing to say at the end of the chapter so read that plz!

**potterybitch:** how are your teeth, little gynt?

**gnomeo:** foffjnos hell

**damnzalski:** he’s dying

**gnomeo:** they like DOUBLED in size overnight

**gnomeo:** and i keep getting sores on the inside of my mouth which sucks

**potterybitch:** hm. i thought it would take longer.

**damnzalski:** he’s lyin on my bed rn dying

**juliet:** why aren’t u at ur actual house

**gnomeo:** bc i can’t explain to my mom why i’m on the couch dying

**damnzalski:** it’s bad

**gnomeo:** [yikes.jpg]

**juliet:** oOF

**juliet:** toby i’m gon come over ok

**damnzalsk:** fine

**gnomeo:** bring ice cream

**damnzalski:** and tylenol

**gnomeo:** and ibuprofen

**juliet:** is it a good idea to mix the both of those

**gnomeo:** no but i’m dying idc

**damnzalski:** just looked it up and it’s legal

**gnomeo:** ‘legal’

**damnzalski:** it won’t kill him that’s what i’m saying

**damnzalski:** i didn’t sleep much last night

**juliet:** guess i’ll swing by a pharmacy 

**gnomeo:** thx 

**gnomeo:** love u

**juliet:** love u too <3

**damnzalski:** jim.exe has stopped working

**damnzalski:** [rip jimothy.jpg]

**gnomeo:** STOP EXPOSING ME LIKE THIS

**potterybitch:** why did you have to zoom in on his face so much?

**gnomeo:** bc he’s a DICK

**damnzalski:** [hm.jpg]

**potterybitch:** give him a break, please.

**juliet:** just flippin him off while dying, iconic jim

**gnomeo:** plz give me a break

**juliet:** toby let me in i’m on ur doorstep

**damnzalski:** fiiine

**gnomeo:** i’m going to drool all over your bed

**damnzalski:** plz dont

**damnzalski:** [why.jpg]

**potterybitch:** this is so hilarious to keep track of.

**damnzalski:** [drool all over her lap.jpg]

**gnomeo:** sstOP

**juliet:** eh he’s laying on a pillow it’s fine

**gnomeo:** i don’t deserve this kind of betrayal rn while i’m dying

**potterybitch:** must you always be so overdramatic?

**gnomeo:** isn’t a changeling thing to be extra like all the time

**gnomeo:** like,,, we both know strickler

**potterybitch:** that bougie son of a bitch.

**gnomeo:** u’ve heard it here folks

**gnomeo:** waltolomew stricklander is a bougie sob

**potterybitch:** you see, changelings can choose what name they go by, and he took the overdramatic route and decided on fucking  _ stricklander _ .

**potterybitch:** i simply kept my familiar’s last name.

**potterybitch:** also, it’s kind of funny. no-more-a.

**damnzalski:** a fucking pun i 

**potterybitch:** what? it seemed fitting.

**damnzalski:** iconic

**juliet:** so is notenrique just permanently notenrique

**potterybitch:** that was his choice, so yes.

**juliet:** fucking iconic

**gnomeo:** imagine being permanently stuck with the stupid name you chose.

**gnomeo:** wait

**gnomeo:** yea that sucks

**gnomeo:** remember when i picked this username

**gnomeo:** i’m too attached to it now

**juliet:** honestly? me too

**gnomeo:** i’m gonna change it and u guys are gonna hate it

**juliet:** no

**damnzalski:** jim no

**juliet:** plEASE WE’RE BEGGINY YOU

 

**gnomeo** changed their name to  **keepitcrispy**

 

**damnzalski:** NO

**juliet:** HOLY FUCK JIMOTHY

**keepitcrispy:** where’s your god now

**potterybitch:** sexting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok y'all i'm not gonna post another chapter until next month (may 4th, if anyone wants specifics) bc i got schoolwork and i kinda have a half finished chapter somewhere in here to finish b4 it's too late (whoops) but i will still be on my tumblr @lovevalley45 if anyone wants to just chat n stuff so!! yea
> 
> i hope this isn't too much of a cliffhanger but you will see what happens soon ;) when those midnight boys come back
> 
> maybe leave a comment or a kudo if u liked this chapter, i love you all soo much bye!


	18. creepslayerz interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternate plan is devised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a may the fourth miracle bc i'm back with another chapter
> 
> enjoy!

**keepitcrispy** created the group  **plan b**

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **damnzalski** ,  **springflingking** , and  **cheddarjohn**

 

**damnzalski:** i still think this is a bad idea

**keepitcrispy:** itll be fine

**cheddarjohn:** so u said youd tell us why u needed our help

**keepitcrispy:** yea yea

**damnzalski:** so we need a backup team

**springflingking:** don’t you guys have a whole team of ppl ready to fight?

**keepitcrispy:** there’s a spy

**damnzalski:** yea workin with that bitch gunmar

**keepitcrispy:** he is a bitch but that’s not the point

**cheddarjohn:** so what do you need us to do

**damnzalski:** first off - do you know that strickler is a changeling

**springflingking:** hold on wtf is a changeling

**keepitcrispy:** like a troll that took the place of a human and can shift between its human and troll forms

**cheddarjohn:** so there are shapeshifting trolls?

**cheddarjohn:** the truth comes out - does jim lake is a changeling

**keepitcrispy:** eh only half

**springflingking:** are u joking

**damnzalski:** he’s spent the last few nights complaining about his teeth growing in so no

**keepitcrispy:** you’re really exposing me rn huh

**damnzalski:** yes bc u keep making me have to come up with reasons to explain to my nana why you’ve been staying with us instead of going home

**damnzalski:** does ur mom even know she fucked a changeling

**keepitcrispy:** which time

**springflingking:** oh my god

**damnzalski:** u need to go back five steps there aRE YOU TELLING ME UR MOM FUCKED WALTOLOMEW STRICKLER

**cheddarjohn:** hold on waltolomew?

**keepitcrispy:** he’s a hoe

**cheddarjohn:** WALTOLOMEW????

**keepitcrispy:** that’s his real name

**springflingking:** can we get back on topic

**keepitcrispy:** oh yea uh

**keepitcrispy:** ok there’s a bunch of changelings in support of gunmar called the janus order and strickler is technically in charge cuz i kinda maybe killed the dude in charge

**keepitcrispy:** and he’s trying to get changelings to try to stop gunmar bc gunmar’s a bitch and doesn’t give a fuck about changelings

**keepitcrispy:** so that’s where u two come in

**springflingking:** what do we do?

**keepitcrispy:** you don’t tell anyone.

**cheddarjohn:** easy enough

**keepitcrispy:** the changelings are our backup plan. it’s something gunmar isn’t expecting. and that’s why no one can know

**damnzalski:** especially not our spy

**cheddarjohn:** ok who is your spy?

**damnzalski:** it’s claire

**springflingking:** claire?

**cheddarjohn:** claire???

**damnzalski:** remember the portal and how we thought she was going to die afterwards?

**damnzalski:** uh well she didn’t die but her soul got corrupted and now she’s a minion for this really powerful troll sorceress

**damnzalski:** who has been kinda using her to spy on us and report to gunmar and revive an evil troll assassin

**cheddarjohn:** wow ok

**springflingking:** that’s intense

**damnzalski:** yeah.

**cheddarjohn:** definitely

**keepitcrispy:** so anyways

**keepitcrispy:** yea uh we need u to help us keep tabs on them bc according to nomura there’s about three dozen of them now

**cheddarjohn:** wait that museum curator? 

**keepitcrispy:** yea she’s a changeling too

**springflingking:** are they everywhere??

**damnzalski:** basically

**keepitcrispy:** they’re pretty nice apparently

**damnzalski:** some of them

**keepitcrispy:** anyways u guys could also learn from them

**cheddarjohn:** like what

**damnzalski:** not getting ur ass handed to u in a fight

**keepitcrispy:** i’ve been training with nomura for a month and a half? now and changelings are the best expert on that

**damnzalski:** u wanna get nomura in on this group chat

**keepitcrispy:** do u want any sexting god jokes

**cheddarjohn:** what the fuck

**damnzalski:** she won’t make any just add her jimothy

**cheddarjohn:** hOW DOES ONE SEXT GOD

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **potterybitch**

 

**keepitcrispy:** these are those humans i was talking about

**potterybitch:** hm.

**cheddarjohn:** i’m eli

**springflingking:** steve

**potterybitch:** eli?

**cheddarjohn:** its short for elijah

**potterybitch:** hm.

**keepitcrispy:** what?

**potterybitch:** before we introduce them to the rest of the changelings, i want them to sit in on a training session.

**potterybitch:** maybe we can test them a bit.

**cheddarjohn:** uh thats ok

**potterybitch:** no offense, kid, but if you aren’t tough, those changelings will tear you apart.

**damnzalski:** ok maybe a little too intense there

**keepitcrispy:** can we not scare them

**potterybitch:** they need a little fear in their hearts.

**cheddarjohn:** no we dont

**keepitcrispy:** zelda.

**potterybitch:** ok, ok, i’m kidding. i’ll stop.

**damnzalski** : damn jimbo dropping the first name

**springflingking:** this is the most frightening conversation i’ve ever seen

**damnzalski:** eh i’ve sat in on one of their training sessions it’s not  _ as  _ frightening as it looks

**cheddarjohn:** thats reassuring

**damnzalski:** i mean not until u realize that a warhammer vs. two blade wielders isn’t a fair fight

**keepitcrispy:** your hammer’s cursed it’s not fair

**potterybitch:** it was a tie. 

**damnzalski:** i won

**potterybitch:** no, you did not. 

**damnzalski:** yea i did

**damnzalski:** i’ve been training with claire

**damnzalski:** tbh it’s just a lot of dodging bc those swings pack a punch

**damnzalski:** i’ll join u guys too

**springflingking:** u use a hammer?

**springflingking:** that seems kinda weak

**damnzalski:** u havent seen my warhammer

**keepitcrispy:** it’s huge

**keepitcrispy:** i’ve gotten hit with it more than once and even in full armor it’s not fun

**springflingking:** did u get a tooth knocked out

**keepitcrispy:** no

**springflingking:** damn

**potterybitch:** if it wasn’t cursed i’d be shocked to how he wields it

**damnzalski:** hey i’ve been getting stronger

**damnzalski:** swinging that thing around is a workout in itself

**cheddarjohn:** do we get cool cursed weapons

**damnzalski:** well i mean i didn’t MEAN it to be cursed

**keepitcrispy:** u know that spring fling challenge with the truck?

**cheddarjohn:** i remember trying to stop you and steve from killing each other on school property, yeah

**keepitcrispy:** well i promised someone i would send a package to her sister thru the post office but SOMEONE opened the box that wasn’t supposed to be opened

**damnzalski:** it was a curse like a curse that made everything go between super light and super heavy and it sucked

**damnzalski:** but it’s fine now we got it contained in my hammer

**keepitcrispy:** i only found this out a few weeks ago

**damnzalski:** he was  _ pissed _

**potterybitch:** it was hilarious.

**keepitcrispy:** not for me!

**cheddarjohn:** ok, no cursed weapon

**potterybitch:** i think i have some swords you can practice sparring with.

**cheddarjohn:** i still have some ninja stars

**keepitcrispy:** ninja stars are no match for trolls

**damnzalski:** you have those boomerang blades

**keepitcrispy:** those are different especially bc those are magical

**damnzalski:** still

**cheddarjohn:** i’m bringing the ninja stars

**potterybitch:** fine.

**keepitcrispy:** ahh my teeth are trying to kill me again

**keepitcrispy:** i need more tylenol

**damnzalski:** i’m gonna make sure he doesn’t get caught by my nana getting tylenol

**damnzalski:** i’m just happy she’s pretty blind

**damnzalski:** like thought a giant troll was an exchange student blind

**keepitcrispy:** but what if she  _ knew  _ arrrgh! was a troll

**damnzalski:** what do you mean

**keepitcrispy:** maybe she just. idk. knows abt trolls

**damnzalski:** why would my nana know about trolls

**keepitcrispy:** what if ur grandpa was a troll

**damnzalski:** ok

**damnzalski:** someone’s sleep deprived

**keepitcrispy:** iT’S HARD TO SLEEP WHEN UR MOUTH IS IN PAIN U WOULD KNOW THIS BEST

**cheddarjohn:** why would you even think his grandpa is a troll tho

**potterybitch:** is this because of that conversation on how troll genes usually manifest in humans?

**potterybitch:** i mentioned more trollish traits. one of those is bad teeth.

**damnzalski:** oh and i mentioned my dad having bad teeth n not knowing my grandfather and

**damnzalski:** yea i can see why ur tired ass shitty thought process went there

**cheddarjohn:** roast him

**damnzalski:** but who knows maybe i’ll ask her

**keepitcrispy:** “hey nana did u fuck a troll”

**damnzalski:** NO

**damnzalski:** what is with u and talking about fuckin trolls

**keepitcrispy:** hey i’m a half troll n i wanna get fucked

**damnzalski:** u know what 

**damnzalski:** u can get ur own fuckin tylenol

**keepitcrispy:** but tobessssssssss

**keepitcrispy:** plz?

**keepitcrispy:** pwease

**damnzalski:** that only convinces me more not to

**cheddarjohn:** cmon toby get the dude some tylenol

**keepitcrispy:** see eli’s on my side

**damnzalski:** fiiiine

**keepitcrispy:** you’re the best

**keepitcrispy:** darci is lucky to have u

**cheddarjohn:** youre dating darci?

**damnzalski:** yea we just made it official

**cheddarjohn:** cool

**cheddarjohn:** u guys are cute together

**damnzalski:** thanks

**springflingking:** u? and darci?

**keepitcrispy:** steve don’t be an asshole

**cheddarjohn:** steve

**springflingking:** i mean i heard the rumors but ok

**damnzalski:** yea we’ve been together for a while now

**springflingking:** what i wanna know is

**springflingking:** is it true u kissed her in her mole costume

**keepitcrispy:** YOU FUCKING FURRY

**damnzalski:** AH

**damnzalski:** FOR THE FUCKING RECORD I DID NOT

**springflingking:** mary says differently

**damnzalski:** aHHH

**keepitcrispy:** toby i am going to BEAT ur ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh steve n eli r back nomura is in on the plan n they're helping out! yeet
> 
> it hasn't been that long but it feels like forever since i posted! and trollhunters is coming back in just a few weeks, wow. let's watch as this fic completely deviates from that canon!! 
> 
> anyways leave a kudo n maybe a comment, i missed my readers!


	19. relief and utter chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normal group chat shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello readers it's another beautiful friday so here's another beautiful chapter
> 
> thankfully i didn't name this after a change of name in the group chat which u will find out soon enough bc it's one of the worst things i've ever written and i've written a lotta bad things in my day
> 
> anyways enjoy my dudes! be free!

**keepitcrispy:** after a week of feeling like i’m dying i think they’re grown in

**damnzalski:** he woke me up at 7 in the morning screaming and i thought he was actually dying

**keepitcrispy:** ok to be fair

**keepitcrispy:** [wow.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** i was kinda shocked

**juliet:** oh my god

**blinknwink:** Impressive.

**potterybitch:** hm. stricklander will be surprised.

**keepitcrispy:** what?

**potterybitch:** he’s coming back to arcadia oaks.

**keepitcrispy:** oh

**keepitcrispy:** how can i keep him away from my mom

**potterybitch:** tell him that she’s dead.

**damnzalski:** that’s a terrible idea

**juliet:** definitely

**keepitcrispy:** he’d never believe me

**potterybitch:** he’s arriving this afternoon.

**potterybitch:** he will probably stop by at training.

**keepitcrispy:** ugh

**keepitcrispy:** can i fight him n tell him if i win he has to stay away from my mom

**potterybitch:** if, being the keyword.

**keepitcrispy:** i’ve had time to get better since the last time we fought

**damnzalski:** wasn’t that when he was tryin to open the bridge and he stole a sword off the wall to duel u

**keepitcrispy:** yea n that was before i went into the darklands n had training from an actual changeling

**juliet:** that tends to make u better at fighting

**keepitcrispy:** oh my god i ate a sandwich for the first time in three days and i almost cried

**damnzalski:** it’s true i saw the tears in his eyes

**keepitcrispy:** it feels SO WEIRd

**juliet:** the teeth or being able to eat solid food again?

**keepitcrispy:** both?

**keepitcrispy:** i’m still not used to them n it still kinda hurts but i’m not dying so

**juliet:** yea it’s hard to get comfortable to new teeth growing in ur mouth out of nowhere

**potterybitch:** i almost forgot. i won a bet with stricklander.

**keepitcrispy:** about what?

**potterybitch:** it was if you would manifest more trollish features in less than three months.

**potterybitch:** or at least, before he came back from informing the janus order about a change in initiative.

**keepitcrispy:** lit

**keepitcrispy:** so can i get a cut of the profits

**potterybitch:** you’ll get five dollars worth of buttkicking.

**keepitcrispy:** aw

**potterybitch:** he owes me fifty bucks.

**keepitcrispy:** man u guys bet hard

**potterybitch:** what can i say? i like a little competition.

**potterybitch:** sometimes, being just a museum curator is boring.

**keepitcrispy:** is that why u enjoy kicking my ass during training

**potterybitch:** it is fun.

**damnzalski:** is it as fun getting hit with a warhammer

**potterybitch:** obviously, that is not as fun. that shit hurts. 

**juliet:** it really does.

**juliet:** i’ve been on the wrong side of that hammer during a training session b4

**damnzalski:** you’ve also smacked me upside the head with ur shadow staff

**damnzalski:** and once in the gronk-nuks

**keepitcrispy:** rip toby’s gronk-nuks

**damnzalski:** plz don’t let this be the new meme

**keepitcrispy:** i’m five seconds away from changing the group chat name to that tbh

 

**juliet** changed the group name to  **rip toby’s gronk nuks**

 

**keepitcrispy:** thx babe

**blinknwink:** What did I miss?

**damnzalski:** my death

**blinknwink:** Well then, rest in peace, Tobias.

**potterybitch:** roasted.

**keepitcrispy:** oh my god

**damnzalski:** can i just have. one day of peace in this chat

**juliet:** there’s never peace in this chat

**keepitcrispy:** you got that right

**potterybitch:** peace is an illusion.

**keepitcrispy:** what does that mean

**potterybitch:** i have no idea.

**damnzalski:** wonderful

**blinknwink:** This chat has taken an interesting turn.

 

**damnzalski** changed the group name to  **fuck you guys**

 

**blinknwink** changed the group name to  **language!**

 

**damnzalski** changed the group name to  **FUCK**

 

**damnzalski:** u can’t control me

**blinknwink:** I can try.

**keepitcrispy:** fuck

**juliet:** FUCK

**blinknwink:** Why must my children be so vulgar?

**potterybitch:** your children?

**blinknwink:** I’ve adopted them all, Nomura. Accept it.

**potterybitch:** no.

**potterybitch:** fuck you.

**blinknwink:** I’ll pass.

**damnzalski:** ooooh blink’s angry

**keepitcrispy:** fight fight fight

**blinknwink:** No.

**keepitcrispy:** well i tried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey did u enjoy this chapter? yeet
> 
> if u liked it leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u haven't already idk
> 
> next chapter strickler possibly gets his ass kicked sooooo yea that's smth to loook forward to


	20. victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets beat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ay y'all ready for this shit? yea u are  
> good i've spent my entire work on schoolwork it's nice to just be able to look at this stupid chat fic and have a relief from fuckin color symbolism  
> anyways i hope y'all love this chapter kiddos

**keepitcrispy:** strickler’s a bitch

**damnzalski:** common knowledge

**keepitcrispy:** but i beat him in a fight

**potterybitch:** you barely beat him.

**damnzalski:** what happened

**keepitcrispy:** me and nomura were training n then strickler showed up

**potterybitch:** he wanted to see jim’s skills himself.

**keepitcrispy:** so i fought him

**keepitcrispy:** and i fuckin won

**potterybitch:** you won by tackling him from behind and nearly cutting your face.

**keepitcrispy:** worth it

**keepitcrispy:** and tbf it’s not my fault he has that stupid knife cape

**keepitcrispy:** blind spot

**potterybitch:** he threw it over his eyes b4 tackling him

**potterybitch:** [victory.jpg]

**juliet:** are you standing on his back

**keepitcrispy:** yes

**damnzalski:** what really makes this picture is strickler flipping off nomura

**potterybitch:** he was pissed.

**juliet:** how did he react to the teeth

**keepitcrispy:** i smiled at him and he sighed n started taking out his wallet

**juliet:** iconic

**keepitcrispy:** n then he called them tiny

**juliet:** and u fought him

**potterybitch:** i think that was the final straw.

**damnzalski:** did u settle the bet

**keepitcrispy:** yea since i won he can’t mess with my mom

**juliet:** congrats babe

**potterybitch:** i was proud.

**keepitcrispy:** so how is he

**juliet:** is he crying

**potterybitch:** after you left, he spent the next ten minutes sitting in my living room complaining.

**juliet:** about how jim kicked his ass?

**potterybitch:** that, and other things.

**potterybitch:** then i kicked him out and told him to go back to his actual apartment.

**damnzalski:** he has a apartment?

**potterybitch:** yes?

**damnzalski:** what the fuck

**juliet:** strickler? having an actual place to live? it’s more likely than you’d think

**potterybitch:** why are you so shocked?

**keepitcrispy:** when he was at arcadia oaks high he like. fucking lived in his office

**potterybitch:** why would he live at that school?

**keepitcrispy:** he’s a weird dude

**juliet:** very

**damnzalski:** he was like. never not in his office

**potterybitch:** he lives in an apartment by himself. it’s very sad.

**juliet:** damn

**damnzalski:** just call him out

**potterybitch:** it’s just the living room, the kitchen, and one bedroom.

**potterybitch:** there’s barely any decoration.

**potterybitch:** once i spent the night and i slept on his couch. he has an all white couch. 

**keepitcrispy:** why? why???? 

**potterybitch:** i do not know.

**potterybitch:** stricklander is a changeling of odd tastes.

**keepitcrispy:** is that bc he doesn’t eat socks

**juliet:** like notenrique does

**potterybitch:** exposure to human customs usually does away with those urges in changelings once entering the human world. 

**juliet:** so notenrique is too young?

**potterybitch:** yes.

**damnzalski:** is that why jim’s never eaten a sock

**keepitcrispy:** hey

**damnzalski:** jk

**juliet:** harsh

**potterybitch:** that is more nurture, not nature.

**damnzalski:** huh

**damnzalski:** yea he grew up on his mom’s shitty cooking

**keepitcrispy:** see i want to be offended but it’s the truth

**keepitcrispy:** part of the reason i learned how to cook

**keepitcrispy:** but a lot of nights she wasn’t around to cook so i learned to cook myself so

**juliet:** oh

**keepitcrispy:** yea

**damnzalski:** but that carbonara does make you long for better times

**keepitcrispy:** sometimes you just can’t help the hopeless

**potterybitch:** see, i would defend your mother, but she’s managed to mess up a cup of tea.

**keepitcrispy:** wow at least u didn’t call her out on it before DRUGGING HER

**potterybitch:** she was okay afterwards. it was just a mild sedative

**keepitcrispy:** that made her also not remember me accusing u bc u tried to kill me

**potterybitch:** well, you were the one who broke into my museum.

**potterybitch:** at least i didn’t almost kill her by tying our fates together and then getting on angor rot’s personal shitlist.

**keepitcrispy:** i mean you’re right

**keepitcrispy:** but that doesn’t make it okay

**potterybitch:** i guess it was kind of fucked up to drug your mom.

**damnzalski:** kinda, yea

**keepitcrispy:** the only good thing abt that whole endeavor is she didn’t see us fighting

**keepitcrispy:** and draal throwing you another dimension

**potterybitch:** it was about a mile away from your house. i figured it would just be easier to get my car back in the morning.

**keepitcrispy:** ‘eh i could come back to fight but…. it’s so far’

**potterybitch:** when i fell, i dislocated my shoulder, so i had to walk back to my house and hope someone could help me put it back in place.

**keepitcrispy:** wait did u actually have roommates

**potterybitch:** changelings who were helping with the bridge stayed at my house for days at a time. it was close to the janus order headquarters and the museum, and over the years i’ve had my fair share of changeling roommates.

**potterybitch:** this is a rare time without any, after gunmar’s massacre. otto had been keeping it maintained in my absence, but when i came back from searching for strickler it was empty. 

**potterybitch:** at the time, i did not know why.

**damnzalski:** oh

**juliet:** damn that’s terrible

**potterybitch:** it’s alright, claire. otto’s notes indicated that the changelings residing there while i was gone were ones i weren’t too close to.

**keepitcrispy:** well u know

**keepitcrispy:** if strickler ever got tired of his sucky apartment he could move in with you

**potterybitch:** gross. i would rather die than let him live with me.

**keepitcrispy:** wouldn’t we all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea this was kinda more filler and bg but y a l l  
> next week season 3 comes out!! and to celebrate i'll be posting a new chapter every weekday next week! get urself fuckin ready mates!  
> leave a kudo or a comment if u liked this chapter, you guys always make me smile!


	21. too damn hot for this shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire discovers a new power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow isn't it cool that it's chapter 21 n it's getting posted on the 21st it's a miracle
> 
> this is the first of a week of posting new chapters until *drum roll* SEASON 3!! woow!
> 
> anyways hope y'all like it

**juliet:** guys

**keepitcrispy:** what’s up babe?

**juliet:** i found a new use for the shadow staff

**juliet:** [oOh.jpg]

**damnzalski:** portable shade?

**juliet:** yep

**damnzalski:** nice

**keepitcrispy:** i think angor rot could do that which was,,, u know,,, probably helpful cuz he was a troll

**juliet:** it wasn’t supposed to be used for keeping cool in this fucking heat but here i am,,, and it’s wonderful

**potterybitch:** why are you outside? it’s 100 degrees out right now. 

**potterybitch:** technically, 99 degrees out. 

**juliet:** it’s not a problem with PORTABLE SHADE

**keepitcrispy:** so that’s what this is now

 

**juliet** changed the group to  **portable shade**

 

**juliet:** yes

**damnzalski:** can we come over and share this portable shade

**juliet:** i would say yes but mY mom would fight jim

**keepitcrispy:** i didn’t even say i could go? i mean i would but

**juliet:** my mom has many reasons to hold a grudge

**damnzalski:** she doesn’t hate me tho

**juliet:** honestly true she is slightly less vengeful towards toby

**keepitcrispy:** why?

**juliet:** honestly i invited him over once and he and my mom got together surprisingly well??

**damnzalski:** honestly i think it was abt city stuff?

**damnzalski:** i can’t even remember what we were talking about

**juliet:** me neither? i think it might have been city stuff

**potterybitch:** you bonded with her mother over her job?

**damnzalski:** it’s all skeptical

**juliet:** wait wait i remember

**juliet:** you guys were talking about the city’s raccoon problem

**keepitcrispy:** you mean the city’s goblin problem

**juliet:** yea

**juliet:** tomato tomahto

**damnzalski:** idek why we were talking about that tho

**juliet:** you made a joke that turned into a more serious convo

**juliet:** then she tried to convince u to convince ur grandma to vote for her in her re-election

**damnzalski:** oh yea

**damnzalski:** she was convincing

**juliet:** we were trying to work on homework and i was like hey mom. we’re working here

**damnzalski:** she was trying to bring us some food

**juliet:** and do some campaigning in the process

**keepitcrispy:** so my mom h8s me bc i interfered with her campaign

**damnzalski:** you also destroyed their house babysitting, ruined her bbq in general, and almost got her daughter arrested

**keepitcrispy:** thx tobes

**damnzalski:** np

**juliet:** dw babe we can sneak u in over the fence

**keepitcrispy:** gee thx

**damnzalski:** jim needs some shade or he’ll get sunburned in five seconds

**keepitcrispy:** don’t

**damnzalski:** u’re extremely pale it’s the truth

**potterybitch:** maybe it’s the changeling blood. 

**juliet:** oH MY GOD CKDIDN

**keepitcrispy:** nOMURA

**damnzalski:** r o a s t e d

**potterybitch:** i saw my chance, and i took it. 

**keepitcrispy:** why is it always me getting dragged in this chat

**juliet:** bc no one wants to drag toby

**keepitcrispy:** even if he’s a furry

**damnzalski:** hEY

**keepitcrispy:** DON’T THINK I FUCKING FORGOT IT

**damnzalski:** STEVE IS A LYING ASS BITCH

**juliet:** and if anyone dragged nomura they’d instantly die

**potterybitch:** i want to argue with you about it, but i would fight anyone who dared to try and roast me. 

**damnzalski:** is that why u always kick jim’s ass during training

**potterybitch:** his trash talking fuels my anger. 

**keepitcrispy:** plz tell me it’s not anger at me

**potterybitch:** my coworkers at the museum can be irritating. i deal with my anger sometimes by fighting you. 

**keepitcrispy:** tbh i can’t blame u, sometimes u just hate someone so u gotta fight out all that anger

**keepitcrispy:** like when i’m fighting i just think of that jerkasshoe strickler

**damnzalski:** jerkasshoe

**potterybitch:** no, he’s right. 

**juliet:** waltolomew jerkasshoe strickler

**potterybitch:** truly. 

**juliet:** babe come over

**juliet:** my parents aren’t home (anymore)

**juliet:** ;)

**juliet:** toby u too

**damnzalski:** gee thx

**damnzalski:** wait when i made that joke jim n i fought what

**potterybitch:** you two fought… over a meme. wow.

**keepitcrispy:** sure

**keepitcrispy:** see ya in a minute babe

**damnzalski:** too many pet names in one conversation... plz

**keepitcrispy:** like you and darci are any better

**damnzalski:** first off u don’t know jack shit so

**potterybitch:** can i crash this backyard party?

**juliet:** no

**potterybitch:** hm. pity. and i just made brownies. 

**juliet:** did u actually make brownies

**potterybitch:** of course not. it is too fucking hot to bake anything. 

**potterybitch:** however, there’s a grocery store near my house and i could pick up brownie bites. 

**juliet:** i do love brownie bites

**juliet:** i’ll text u my address

**potterybitch:** excellent. 

 

**waltstrickler** has created the group  **new recruits**

 

**waltstrickler** added  **potterybitch**

 

**waltstrickler:** They’re here. 

**potterybitch:** stop being so fucking cryptic.

**potterybitch:** we can discuss this after i get home. 

**waltstrickler:** You know what I mean.

**potterybitch:** yes, but you could simply say, ‘the changelings i recruited to fight against gunmar are here.’

**waltstrickler:** You’ve always been so difficult to work with.

**potterybitch:** you’ve always been a prick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah! cool. yea. leave a kudo or a comment if u like it, next chapter will be posted tomorrow n it's abt muffin thieves ;)


	22. muffin thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's muffin gets stolen and a war ensues. Not about the stolen muffin, surprisingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo it's chapter 22 on a tuesday i'm sittin here dying but i made a promise and i'm gonna fulfill it damnit  
> this one was a really fun chapter to write so yeet

**blinknwink:** Great Gronka Morica! Leading is more stressful than one would imagine.

**blinknwink:** Another troll went missing last night after two weeks of no attempt from Angor Rot. Everyone is in a fuss.

**keepitcrispy:** oh jeez

**blinknwink:** I must say, I’m quite overwhelmed.

**keepitcrispy:** damn blink

**blinknwink:** For now, I just need a break.

**blinknwink:** It’s been some time since our last training session. How is your training with Nomura going?

**keepitcrispy:** [ayyy.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** we’re taking a break rn but we’ve been training pretty frequently

**potterybitch:** you’ve trained him well, blinkous. i think he almost beat me today.

**blinknwink:** Very well, Master Jim!

**keepitcrispy:** she kneed me in the crotch

**blinknwink:** Rule number three!

**keepitcrispy:** it mostly caught me in surprise

**keepitcrispy:** u know what they say

**damnzalski:** can’t get hit in the gronk nuks if u don’t got em

**keepitcrispy:** ayyyy

**potterybitch:** i could ask but i don’t think i want to. 

**keepitcrispy:** i can’t believe u checked in just in time to finish that joke 

**potterybitch:** how is your task with stricklander going?

**damnzalski:** terrible i want to kill him

**blinknwink:** Why are you stuck with Strickler?

**damnzalski:** i came w/ jim for training but then strickler needed help with something and i had to help him

**potterybitch:** it’s a special task. mostly finding room and board for a few changelings who’ve agreed to help.

**damnzalski:** it’s boring

**damnzalski:** you ever make like ten beds

**potterybitch:** ten isn’t that much

**damnzalski:** thERE’S NOT EVEN TEN CHANGELINGS YET IT’S LIKE THREE

**blinknwink:** Three? Only three?

**potterybitch:** stricklander says more will be joining us soon.

**potterybitch:** they’re joining me at my house, at least this first group.

**keepitcrispy:** one changeling just stole my muffin?

**potterybitch:** [confused halfling meets mr. muffin thief.jpg]

**damnzalski:** fifjnkgig

**keepitcrispy:** there’s like two dozen fresh baked muffins left and he took the one i was trying to grab?

**damnzalski:** u made way too many muffins bro

**blinknwink:** Where is Claire?

**keepitcrispy:** girls’ night w/ mary and darci

**keepitcrispy:** she sent me this

**keepitcrispy:** [having more fun than u.jpg]

**damnzalski:** no offense but,,,, darci’s looking cute

**keepitcrispy:** bro

**keepitcrispy:** that’s so sweet

**potterybitch:** which one is darci?

**damnzalski:** the girl on the left

**potterybitch:** good taste. 

**damnzalski:** thx i guess?

**keepitcrispy:** i’m still pissed about that muffin???

**potterybitch:** it was one muffin, little gynt.

**keepitcrispy:** but there’s so many more and he took mine

**keepitcrispy:** he saw me reaching for it and just snatched it

**damnzalski:** i want a muffin but i gotta work

**potterybitch:** here’s what you do: tell stricklander to go fuck himself and grab a damn muffin.

**damnzalski:** nice

**damnzalski:** [rude.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** he flipped you off?

**blinknwink:** Who flips off a child?

**potterybitch:** stricklander, apparently.

**keepitcrispy:** i saw him kick notenrique, i’m not surprised

**damnzalski:** didn’t u put him in a freezer once

**keepitcrispy:** it was the fridge

**keepitcrispy:** and he was fine 

**keepitcrispy:** u know 

**keepitcrispy:** just a bit cold

**blinknwink:** Wasn’t that right before your mother assaulted me?

**keepitcrispy:** how am i gonna explain a baby in the kitchen, blink

**blinknwink:** You handled a strange man in your household quite well.

**keepitcrispy:** that’s easier than a baby

**potterybitch:** there are some things you tell me that i doubt i will ever fully understand without context. so, please explain.

**blinknwink:** For a time, I was a human.

**damnzalski:** some weird potions in gatto’s keep turned him human

**blinknwink:** It was weird. 

**blinknwink:** How do you do it?

**potterybitch:** i got a good job and use my free time to train this little twerp. it’s easier than building a bridge to release unspeakable evil upon arcadia. 

**damnzalski:** twerp

**keepitcrispy:** what are you, icky vicky

**potterybitch:** i’m joking, little gynt.

**keepitcrispy:** ik but still. twerp.

**damnzalski:** jim confess ur muffin secrets

**keepitcrispy:** never

**keepitcrispy:** you’ll have to kill me first

**damnzalski:** blink get ready to train a new trollhunter

**potterybitch:** i’ll tell stricklander to give you time to kick jim’s ass.

**damnzalski:** he has no ass it should be pretty easy

**keepitcrispy:** must u always

**damnzalski:** yes

**blinknwink:** I always miss it when you two fight.

**potterybitch:** too bad.

**potterybitch:** [muffin war.jpg]

**blinknwink:** Brutal offense, Tobias.

**keepitcrispy:** u ever get ur own creations thrust in ur own face

**keepitcrispy:** my own work,,, so beautiful,,, so demolished

**juliet:** what the fuck

**juliet:** i haven’t been able to check the chat until now but toby and jim are having a muffin war?

**potterybitch:** basically.

**juliet:** great

**juliet:** mary is asking me who i’m texting so i gtg

**juliet:** we’re doing mani pedis

**damnzalski:** nice

**keepitcrispy:** have fun!

**damnzalski:** we won’t waste too many baked goods

**keepitcrispy:** five seconds before he shoved a muffin down my shirt

**damnzalski:** VIVA LA FRANCE

**potterybitch:** [rage.jpg]

**damnzalski:** i wasn’t aware someone could have such throwing power with a muffin but here i am

**blinknwink:** You have a talent of getting pictures at the perfect times. 

**potterybitch:** it’s a gift. 

**keepitcrispy:** revenge

**potterybitch:** ah shit. stricklander is coming downstairs. 

**potterybitch:** he looks pissed.

**blinknwink:** Oh dear.

**keepitcrispy:** party’s over

**damnzalski:** gtg

**blinknwink:** Don’t get into too much trouble!

**keepitcrispy:** you know we will

**juliet:** i leave u guys alone for five minutes

 

**damnzalski** created the group  **roommate search**

 

**damnzalski** added  **springflingking** and  **cheddarjohn**

  
**damnzalski:** anyone got a spare room?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ay i hoped u liked this lil chapter (is it really little tho?)  
> tomorrow i'm droppin chapter 23 where there's just a lil bit of romance hmm  
> leave a comment or a kudo if you like this chapter


	23. romance is in the air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, young love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: tons of fuckin sappy shit ahead  
> anyways i hope u guys enjoy the chapter i may have almost gotten distracted watching pushing daises n forgot to post but! i haven't forgotten yet!!  
> now read the chapter!

**potterybitch:** blinkous, you’ve trained your heroes well.

**potterybitch:** the changelings staying with me are helping with training and well, to put it frankly, they’ve gotten a real asskicking.

**blinknwink:** He says thank you

**blinknwink:** This is argh

**damnzalski:** are u using siri

**blinknwink:** Yes

**blinknwink:** He is busy

**blinknwink:** Leader stuff

**keepitcrispy:** what’s going on?

**blinknwink:** Angor rot

**keepitcrispy:** oof

**keepitcrispy:** have you found a way to stop him yet

**blinknwink:** Not yet

**potterybitch:** this is so weird to get used to.

**potterybitch:** you text more than him.

**blinknwink:** Thank you

**juliet:** how many trolls have gone missing now

**blinknwink:** Not sure

**blinknwink:** A third

**damnzalski:** that’s a lot

**keepitcrispy:** oh geez

**potterybitch:** if you need help from a few retired janus order members, you know where to call us.

**blinknwink:** Good to know

**damnzalski:** oh yeah guess who just beat the muffin thief in a fight

**damnzalski:** [ko.jpg]

**juliet:** why must u always do the victory stance

**keepitcrispy:** let me be proud

**juliet:** babe i love u but

**juliet:** why r u like this

**damnzalski:** every time u casually say ‘i love you’ i think jim dies and resurrects into a stronger man

**keepitcrispy:** don’t expose me like this

**juliet:** babe that’s so cute

**damnzalski:** is this what it’s like when u guys are the third wheel hanging out with me n darci

**juliet:** not really, actually

**keepitcrispy:** u guys are cute but not cutesy

**keepitcrispy:** ya know

**damnzalski:** yea no i get it

**damnzalski:** no offense but u guys can be pretty cutesy

**keepitcrispy:** that’s fair

**juliet:** you’ve got a front row seat to all of it

**damnzalski:** especially in this group chat

**juliet:** yea true

**potterybitch:** i don’t even spend that much time with the two of you, but i can attest to that.

**potterybitch:** you two are adorable enough that it isn’t too annoying.

**potterybitch:** young love. repulsing and pure at the same time.

**blinknwink:** Very true

**blinknwink:** Young love is good

**damnzalski:** hm u would know ;)

**juliet:** what

**keepitcrispy:** am i missing smth here

**damnzalski:** ;)

**blinknwink:** Tobias!

**blinknwink:** I return to this?

**potterybitch:** what is toby trying to tell us here?

**blinknwink:** That is frankly none of your business.

**keepitcrispy:** blinkyyyyyyyyy

**juliet:** c’mon blink

**damnzalski:** tell them

**blinknwink:** The cat is too far out of the bag to keep it a secret now, isn’t it?

**potterybitch:** yes.

**blinknwink:** A few weeks ago, Tobias caught me and Arrrgh! sleeping together in our temporary apartment.

**keepitcrispy:** wow okay then

**blinknwink:** Not that kind of sleeping together, Master Jim! By Deya’s grace, get your head out of the gutter!

**keepitcrispy:** aren’t u guys technically like,,, literally in the gutter tho

**blinknwink:** We’re in the sewers. There’s a difference.

**damnzalski:** they were just napping

**damnzalski:** i may or may not have gotten some pictures for prosperity

**blinknwink:** Really, Tobias? How long were you there until we woke up?

**damnzalski:** probably like two minutes

**damnzalski:** u guys looked peaceful n i didn’t want to disturb u

**keepitcrispy:** congrats u guys

**blinknwink:** Me and Arrrgh! have been together before the three of you were born. But trollish courtship methods are very different than human courting.

**damnzalski:** yeah i mean draal seemed pretty shook abt the concept of kissing

**potterybitch:** it’s repulsive. you smush your lips against another person’s? that is a truly ridiculous way to show affection.

**juliet:** well excuse me n my love of ridiculous ways of showing affection

**keepitcrispy:** does using someone as a pillow count as a ridiculous way to show affection

**juliet:** it would be if u were a better pillow

**damnzalski:** it’s not his fault he’s such a noodle

**damnzalski:** genetics, man

**keepitcrispy:** hey

**potterybitch:** blinkous, does arrrgh! make a comfortable pillow?

**blinknwink:** I’m not indulging you in an answer. 

 

**damnzalski** created  **hey babe**

 

**damnzalski** added  **beammeupdarci**

 

**damnzalski:** hey

**beammeupdarci:** hey

**damnzalski:** guess what?

**beammeupdarci:** what?

**damnzalski:** you’re the best

**beammeupdarci:** aw

**beammeupdarci:** love u too

**damnzalski:** love u more

**beammeupdarci:** mm love u more

**damnzalski:** hm that sounds fake but ok

**beammeupdarci:** nah pretty sure

**damnzalski:** hm ok

**beammeupdarci:** hm

**damnzalski:** loove u

**beammeupdarci:** this is a really productive conversation

**damnzalski:** ikr

**beammeupdarci:** truly

**damnzalski:** absolutely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i had to do it i had to make it canon  
> if u like this chapter leave a comment (or maybe a kudo if u haven't yet) yay


	24. girls girls girls interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls of Arcadia High discuss school legends and secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually don't know what was going through my head when i came up with the title for this chapter but whatever  
> don't ask me why but i did come up with a whole story about the telling of the myth mentioned in the story. at my high school the only interesting lore i know abt our school is that what's supposed to be the lobby for the black box was, for a long time, the sex room. the more u know.   
> anyways with that fun fact aside, enjoy this chapter!

**maryyyyy** changed the chat name to  **another girls’ night?**

 

**maryyyyy:** heyy

**juliet:** sup mare

**beammeupdarci:** yo

**maryyyyy:** so u guys busy tomorrow night

**juliet:** hold on lemme see

**juliet:** i might have to go visit my uncle

**maryyyyy:** ur uncle?

**juliet:** yea,,,, bob

**beammeupdarci:** bob nuñez

**juliet:** he’s on my mom’s side

**beammeupdarci:** i thought ur mom was an only child?

**maryyyyy:** yea u never mentioned ur uncle bob before

**juliet:** he’s passin thru town n he wants to meet me bc he’s my mom’s long lost brother

**maryyyyy:** darci?

**beammeupdarci:** oh shoot i forgot i have a soccer game u know,,,, gotta be there and encourage school spirit and that shit

**maryyyyy:** isn’t soccer done for the season

**beammeupdarci:** they made it to the playoffs so

**juliet:** but our soccer team sucks

**beammeupdarci:** don’t tell steve that

**maryyyyy:** damn

**maryyyyy:** n i was gonna invite shan

**juliet:** oooh u just wanted to invite shan

**juliet:** ur girlllllllllfriiiiiiend

**maryyyyy:** you’re embarassing

**juliet:** hey u are too

**beammeupdarci:** u guys are both. embarassing. and u gotta accept it

**maryyyyy:** thx darce

**beammeupdarci:** np

**juliet:** i know u are but what are we 

**beammeupdarci:** lame

**juliet:** rude

**beammeupdarci:** i’m just happy none of u get on me abt my love life

**juliet:** i’m already in the know

**maryyyyy:** well i’m not in ur weird group chat w jim n toby and some other weird ppl i guess

**maryyyyy:** blinknwink? potterybitch? who do u talk to

**juliet:** they go to another school

**juliet:** my old school

**juliet:** but we like to keep in contact u know 

**beammeupdarci:** maybe we could meet them

**juliet:** they’re weird theatre kids u probably wouldn’t like

**juliet:** yea

**juliet:** let’s go back to teasing mary abt her love life

**maryyyyy:** WHY

**juliet:** u teased me abt jim for. so long that it’s my right to do this

**beammeupdarci:** she’s not wrong

**juliet:** so… have u guys been hangin out lately

**maryyyyy:** we saw a movie yesterday

**maryyyyy:** then went n got ice cream bc. it was so hot

**beammeupdarci:** it’s been so hot lately

**beammeupdarci:** good news: i have a great tan

**beammeupdarci:** bad news: that mole costume is starting to slowly kill me

**maryyyyy:** u mean it wasn’t already starting to kill u before by consuming ur soul

**beammeupdarci:** ha ha 

**beammeupdarci:** very funny

**beammeupdarci:** stop with that ghost story it’s so old

**maryyyyy:** that ghost story won’t die until i do

**maryyyyy:** johnny brooks’ ghost still resides in that costume

**maryyyyy:** they say it’s the real reason bill aronstein moved to winconsin

**maryyyyy:** that was the only way the ghost would leave me alone

**beammeupdarci:** ….

**beammeupdarci:** u need to stop watching horror movies

**juliet:** what are u guys talking about

**beammeupdarci:** jeez

**maryyyyy:** so in our freshman year we hung out with the aronstein brothers

**maryyyyy:** before bill was the mascot, his older brother phil was the mascot

**maryyyyy:** one day at lunch he told us the story of johnny brooks

**beammeupdarci:** basically it was a tall tale abt some dude who died in the costume and apparently his ghost still haunts the costume, blah blah blah

**beammeupdarci:** basically it’s bullshit

**maryyyyy:** he passed out like right after he told us tho

**beammeupdarci:** phil aronstein wasn’t the best student

**beammeupdarci:** he was probably drunk or smth

**maryyyyy:** ok but he didn’t drink so?

**juliet:** whoa whoa he just passed out like? randomly? 

**beammeupdarci:** he pretended he was being choked before faceplanting on the table

**maryyyyy:** ‘pretended’ 

**juliet:** did he like

**juliet:** what happened to him bc i didn’t even know bill had a brother

**beammeupdarci:** a few months after that, he drove right off the cliff on the edge of town

**beammeupdarci:** bill kinda stopped hanging out with us after that

**maryyyyy:** it was sad

**juliet:** oh damn

**beammeupdarci:** he became the mascot after that bc he said it was what his brother would have wanted him to do

**beammeupdarci:** b4 he moved he asked me abt if i would be interested in it

**beammeupdarci:** if i was willing to face the unknown of the spirits of the costume

**beammeupdarci:** he was never the same after that accident

**juliet:** that’s the weirdest story?

**beammeupdarci:** yeah it was totally creepy

**beammeupdarci:** but u know i took the role

**beammeupdarci:** mr. paynes told him to find someone to replace him as the mascot b4 he left so

**maryyyyy:** i always wondered why u never told us

**beammeupdarci:** a girl’s gotta have her secrets ;) u know

**juliet:** u got that right

**maryyyyy:** are those secrets why u can’t make it to girl’s night

**juliet:** oh enrique is crying i gotta change his diaper BYE

**beammeupdarci:** dinner’s ready n u know how my dads are abt me using my phone at the table soooooo bye

**maryyyyy:** fine

**maryyyyy:** guess it’ll just be a fun date night with the gf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh what's up with darci? you'll probably never find out lol but u can guess  
> this chapter was really fun to write but the next one is all about toby bein shamed for being a furry so that's smth to look forward to  
> leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't left one already. love u guys! only one more day until season 3!!!!


	25. toby continues to be a furry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby is kinkshamed. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate name for this chapter: what happens when my friends support my stupid ideas  
> this one is pretty short but hopefully it won't distract u from *drumroll* SEASON 3!!!  
> yay read this chapter n enjoy!

**damnzalski:** …

**keepitcrispy:** don’t

**juliet:** don’t

**potterybitch:** whatever you are going to do, i do not want to find out

**damnzalski:** _ hewwo _

**keepitcrispy:** NO

**potterybitch:** for all things holy, please stop.

**damnzalski:** jim wake,,,,,, trowwhunter...

**keepitcrispy:** i am.,,,, two seconds away from fighting u

**keepitcrispy:** literally if i left now i could fight u in the next five seconds

**damnzalski:** but jim :( pwease….

**keepitcrispy:** NO MERCY

**potterybitch:** you get him, little gynt.

**juliet:** god.. why does this keep happening

**damnzalski:** [MY WINDOW.jpg]

**juliet:** YOU BROKE HIS WINDOW?

**damnzalski:** I REPENT I REPENT 

**potterybitch:** how did you break a window?

**damnzalski:** MY FUCKING WINDOW

**blinknwink:** Is this another meme?

**juliet:** _ look what you’ve done tobias _

**juliet:** you’ve tainted our father

**juliet:** you’ve tainted this chat

**keepitcrispy:** i am. so sorry blinky

**damnzalski:** he’s sitting on my back right now and it’s very uncomfortable

**keepitcrispy:** it’s revenge for  _ tainting this chat _

**damnzalski:** his bony ass is penetrating my spine

**keepitcrispy:** there was really no other word but penetrate huh

**juliet:** hey i started dating jim for many reasons

**juliet:** no offense babe, but ur ass is not one of them

**potterybitch:** that was cruel, claire. i like it.

**blinknwink:** I do not understand the humor or the outrage. It is simply a misspelling of ‘hello’, is it not?

**keepitcrispy:** it’s worse

**juliet:** those five letters are a curse upon the earth

**damnzalski:** can u guys chill

**keepitcrispy:** NEVER

**juliet:** i doubt jim has ever chilled in his entire life

**juliet:** and i can’t let u get away with this shit

**damnzalski:** honestly i’m just happy he hasn’t bitten me

**damnzalski:** i’ve seen what those teeth can do to a pencil before the new teeth

**keepitcrispy:** that’s not my kink.

**keepitcrispy:** uNLIKE BEING A FURRY

**damnzalski:** WHY

**potterybitch:** i dare you to change your name to furzalski.

**damnzalski:** welll what do i get out of it

**potterybitch:** you get to watch me kick stricklander in the gronk-nuks.

**damnzalski:** hm

**potterybitch:** what if i let you hit strickler in the gronk-nuks with your warhammer?

**damnzalski:** i’m sold

 

**damnzalski** changed their name to  **furzalski**

 

**furzalski:** thanks i hate it

**potterybitch:** it’ll be worth it.

**keepitcrispy:** so

**juliet:** ADMIT YOU’RE A FURRY

**blinknwink:** Some days I wish I had never let Claire explain what furries were to me and Arrrgh!

**blinknwink:** This is one of those days.

**potterybitch:** i know how you feel, blinkous.

**keepitcrispy:** tobias franklin domzalski is a furry and his fursona is a capybara

**juliet:** ur middle name is franklin?

**potterybitch:** your fursona is a capybara?

**blinknwink:** What is happening right now in this conversation?

**furzalski:** i’m being fucking exposed here

**potterybitch:** is your fursona really a capybara? that is what i want to fucking know.

**furzalski:** i can neither confi

**blinknwink:** Tobias, are you alright?

**juliet:** jim mcfucking killed him

**keepitcrispy:** IT’S THE TRUTH

**juliet:** what did u do with toby

**keepitcrispy:** i threw his phone across the room but i’m still sitting on him

**juliet:** thank god for that indestructible phone case  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo did u enjoy this joke chapter bc i sure did  
> please no season 3 spoilers in the comments! i can't watch it until i'm done with my finals (this afternoon) and there are likely tons of readers who haven't gotten a chance to either so plz be considerate of ur fellow readers  
> leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't done so already! next chapter (which is going to be posted next friday) is some changeling lore (which hopefully isn't debunked completely by season 3 but whatever this is already way gone from canon soo yeah)


	26. a brief recapitulation of changeling lore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nomura and Jim have a conversation while everyone else is asleep like normal people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man this woulda been better to post b4 s3 bc i had to go n edit like 15 things so! yay
> 
> anyways plz enjoy this n rn i'm writing in more elements of s3 (if u saw my post on my tumblr abt bone drugs, then u know this already) so yeet
> 
> edit: dudes i meant to save this as a draft but i accidentally posted it so congrats u get an early chapter! yay?

**keepitcrispy:** sup it’s midnite n i can’t sleep

**potterybitch:** why not?

**keepitcrispy:** a bit of anxiety, a bit of ptsd, and a big fuckin headache

**potterybitch:** maybe it’s your horns coming in.

**keepitcrispy:** i hope the fuck not

**potterybitch:** i was kidding.

**potterybitch:** like i told you, most halflings are presumed human. you are a unique specimen.

**keepitcrispy:** ugh idk why but it’s really weird when u call me a specimen.

**potterybitch:** perhaps subject?

**keepitcrispy:** nah it’s like

**keepitcrispy:** i’m not even my own person i’m just an object

**potterybitch:** ah, i understand.

**keepitcrispy:** the only thing that’s really changed so far is my teeth so far but i just feel so weird like

**potterybitch:** like during your human puberty?

**keepitcrispy:** what is like changeling puberty a thing

**potterybitch:** not to the same extent as the puberty human teenagers endure.

**keepitcrispy:** yea

**potterybitch:** it’s more subtle - we don’t even know it’s happening until we shift into our troll forms and we look completely different.

**potterybitch:** human puberty is shocking. it’s terrible. we don’t go through the same emotional changes but the physical changes alone. 

**keepitcrispy:** they’re terrible right??

**potterybitch:** oh, you don’t even know the half of it.

**keepitcrispy:** i. actually kinda do?

**potterybitch:** ?

**keepitcrispy:** cuz i’m trans

**potterybitch:** huh. that makes a lot of sense.

**keepitcrispy:** thought the gronk-nuks joke made it pretty obvious

**potterybitch:** hm.

**keepitcrispy:** hm?

**potterybitch:** cool.

**keepitcrispy:** don’t u mean 

**keepitcrispy:** _ crispy _

**potterybitch:** please refrain.

**keepitcrispy:** never.

**potterybitch:** is everyone else asleep?

**keepitcrispy:** probably

**potterybitch:** i guess, in claire’s case, she’s helping gunmar and the pale lady.

**keepitcrispy:** it’s not like shes doing it willing tho

**potterybitch:** you always seem to skirt around that topic.

**potterybitch:** even if she isn’t doing it of her volition, she is still helping them. 

**keepitcrispy:** yea

**potterybitch:** but maybe you’ve skirted around it for too long.

**keepitcrispy:** idk it’s hard knowing that ur own girlfriend is in someway kind of ur own enemy

**keepitcrispy:** it’s not her fault but if it hadn’t been for that stupid portal the shadow staff couldn’t have correupted her soul

**keepitcrispy:** and i tried to convince her not to n if i had been a little more convincing or if i hadn’t even freed gunmar in the first place or

**keepitcrispy:** thinking abt it kinda makes me think of all the ways it could have been stopped but the truth is that there really wasn’t a way to prevent it

**potterybitch:** it is too late to think about that.

**keepitcrispy:** i know.

**potterybitch:** even if there was no way to prevent it, you cannot go back in time and stop it. 

**potterybitch:** the best you can do is support her until there is a way to reverse the effects it had on her.

**keepitcrispy:** i know

**keepitcrispy:** but i don’t think we’ll find a way to stop it until we stop gunmar first

**potterybitch:** yes, that does make it more difficult.

**potterybitch:** the pale lady, or as some call her, morgana has powerful magic, as ancient than your dear merlin. 

**potterybitch:** it is said that she was an apprentice under him, until she turned against him.

**keepitcrispy:** just like in the legend of camelot?

**potterybitch:** it mirrors that old human tale, yes.

**potterybitch:** morgana is the mother of all changelings; she has great magic. there are many myths about her, but the story is simple. she aided the gumm-gumms, while merlin sided against her. 

**potterybitch:** both of them disappeared after the fight. some changelings still believe she is still alive, but no one is sure. merlin is presumed dead, but there are countless rumors about him as well.

**keepitcrispy:** well given that she’s workin with gunamr i think we know she’s alive

**potterybitch:** i suppose you’re right

**keepitcrispy:** if morgana is the mother of all changelings is she the one who helped create them

**potterybitch:** it seems blinky has skipped a few things in his history lessons.

**potterybitch:** before gumm-gumms were sentenced to the darklands, she was the one who started kidnapping young trolls. she crafted the decimar blade and with that same magic, she discovered how to change regular trolls into changelings.

**keepitcrispy:** so that’s how it triggered my changeling genetics?

**potterybitch:** that’s what stricklander thinks, at least.

**keepitcrispy:** you know what’s weird

**potterybitch:** what?

**keepitcrispy:** it’s still weird to get used to it

**keepitcrispy:** like i can still pass as human but i know someday i won’t be able to hide it and i’ll have to face ppl knowing

**potterybitch:** because everyone who knows is in this chat.

**potterybitch:** there’s always the possibility that your teeth might be the only physical change.

**keepitcrispy:** but what if it’s not?

**keepitcrispy:** n u know the stigma changelings have

**potterybitch:** yes, i do. i think if we were not helpful to opening killaheed bridge, bular would have slaughtered all of the changelings helping him.

**potterybitch:** trolls are wary of changelings because of our shifty nature. to them, we cannot be trusted. to them, we are trouble waiting to happen.

**keepitcrispy:** that’s pretty unfair

**potterybitch:** yes, it is.

**keepitcrispy:** i shoudl probably get to bed

**potterybitch:** yes, you should.

**potterybitch:** it’s late, little gynt, and you have training tomorrow. stricklander has also requested to talk to us about the progress we’re making.

**keepitcrispy:** ugh

**potterybitch:** i know.

**keepitcrispy:** gn

**potterybitch:** good night, trollhunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo yeet if u liked this chapter then plz leave a comment or possibly a kudo! next week we see two new faces in the gc n,,,,,, i named the chapter after a weird inside joke so i guess i'll have to explain that or change it so?? wait to see what i decide to do
> 
> anyways,,,, no spoilers but maN s3 was wild n expect a lot of darby from me bc i am,,, The Darby Tycoon (apparently) n i will write many fics,,, many (i'm open to darby prompts on my tumblr @ lovevalley45 rn if u have any ideas) so thAT's all i gotta say


	27. left gronk nuk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New people join the group chat and shit immediately gets wild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so. i guess i should explain the chapter name. like last august me n my friends had a debate that is still going to this day. the nut discourse. i don't want to go too much into detail but basically there's team left nut and team center nut. obviously, i'm team left nut. yeah. 
> 
> anyways since y'all had to read this u get a gift. two chapters a weak bby! bc i have too many chapters whoops. one on monday and one on friday. 
> 
> i've kept u waiting long enough so go on and read it!

**keepitcrispy:** so

**keepitcrispy:** what if we added steve n eli to this chat

**potterybitch:** those humans?

**keepitcrispy:** yea

**potterybitch:** they’re kind of fun. let’s add them.

**juliet:** why

**juliet:** wait nomura you’ve met them

**keepitcrispy:** i invited them to training once

**potterybitch:** that smaller one, elijah, nearly passed out in my kitchen.

**furzalski:** that was fucking hilarious

**juliet:** wait why?

**keepitcrispy:** it’s a long story

**keepitcrispy:** that involves toby’s hammer, a greek vase, and an angry changeling

**potterybitch:** that was a very expensive vase.

**furzalski:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

**keepitcrispy:** it was still a funny story

**juliet:** oh my god

**furzalski:** let’s add them

**juliet:** i’m already outnumbered so

**juliet:** blinky?

**blinknwink:** I don’t see any issue with it.

**juliet:** then let’s add them

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **springflingking** and  **cheddarjohn**

 

**cheddarjohn:** do i wanna know about tobys username

**furzalski:** it was a bet

**furzalski:** i get to hit strickler in the gronk-nuks

**springflingking:** why?

**keepitcrispy:** bc he’s a fucking gronk-nuk

**furzalski:** he is. a single gronk-nuk

**springflingking:** what is a gronk-nuk

**juliet:** it’s a troll nut

**blinknwink:** Claire, you offend me on a deep, personal level.

**blinknwink:** _ Troll nut?  _  Is that what NotEnrique told you? 

**blinknwink:** A fucking  _ troll nut _ ?

**furzalski:** i’m so weak omg

**potterybitch:** i mean, she is not wrong, blinkous.

**blinknwink:** You can’t just simply call a gronk-nuk a  _ troll nut _ , Nomura. 

**blinknwink:** You would know first hand how different human and troll anatomies are. To call it a  _ troll nut _ implies that human and troll genitalia are that similar.

**springflingking:** you know i’m really regretting asking now

**blinknwink:** There are several subtle but important differences, Zelda.

**furzalski:** i think we all are

**potterybitch:** don’t call me by my first name, galadrigal. 

**blinknwink:** But let’s just see how the gronk-nuks aren’t just  _ troll nuts _ , shall we?

**keepitcrispy:** didn’t ask for this anatomy lesson thx i think that’s all for now blink

**juliet:** basically hitting a troll in the gronk-nuks is like hitting a dude in the balls

**juliet:** it’s one of the three rules of trollhunting, that i use a lot actually

**furzalski:** unfortunately*

**cheddarjohn:** lucky me then

**keepitcrispy:** ayyy

**springflingking:** so u get to hit strickler in the nuts with ur hammer

**furzalski:** yep

**springflingking:** oh my god plz record that n send it to the reckless club chat

**juliet:** plz don’t, actually

**furzalski:** it’s kinda hard to explain why i have a flaming hammer

**springflingking:** u right u right

**keepitcrispy:** do u think nomura n blink r fighting in the sewer right now

**furzalski:** let’s fucking hope not

**potterybitch:** we’re not.

**potterybitch:** blinkous is lecturing me about troll anatomy in another chat.

**furzalski:** why tho

**potterybitch:** divine punishment, probably.

**blinknwink:** Rude.

**springflingking:** so one part of ur job is kicking ppl in the nuts

**keepitcrispy:** yea

**springflingking:** nice

**juliet:** i kicked an evil troll assassin in the nuts once

**juliet:** i mean i also accidentally brought him back to life so. that’s an issue

**furzalski:** yea 

**furzalski:** i guess u guys are even now

**juliet:** ‘hey yea i know i kicked u in the balls but i also brought u back from the dead don’t kill me plz?’

**furzalski:** if only it was that easy

**springflingking:** that seems pretty fair

**cheddarjohn:** so reviving someone is the opposite action to kicking them in the nuts huh

**juliet:** yea

**cheddarjohn:** what kinda logic is that

**furzalski:** it’s troll logic

**furzalski:** wait a second hold on

 

**furzalski** changed the chat name to  **troll nut**

 

**blinknwink:** Thank you, Tobias.

**furzalski:** no prob

**keepitcrispy:** hey nomura we still on for trainin tonight

**potterybitch:** yes. stricklander has finally decided to stop nagging for five seconds to let us have some valuable training hours.

**keepitcrispy:** nice

**furzalski:** can i come crash 

**potterybitch:** sure. 

**potterybitch:** please, don’t smash a vase this time.

**potterybitch:** when i say crash, i don’t mean it literally.

**furzalski:** ok it’s not my fault it floated into that nice greek vase

**cheddarjohn:** sure, jan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh those midnite bois are HERE yeet
> 
> if u like this chapter then u know. leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already. plz don't ask abt the nut discourse here bc i'll cry, but if u must know just. send me an ask on tumblr
> 
> anyways yea. next week is just. chaos. there's no real plot bc it's all chaos. look forward to that on ur screens


	28. the chat is on fire (probably)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure and utter group chat chaos. So, basically what happens when everyone is tired and has too much time on their hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god,,,, i'm so sorry. plz enjoy

**furzalski:** GUESS WHO JUST HIT STRCIKLER IN THE GRONK-NUKS

**furzalski:** [rip strickler’s fucking dick.gif]

**keepitcrispy:** i still can’t believe u made it into a gif

**juliet:** fucking iconic

**potterybitch:** it was a glorious sight.

**cheddarjohn:** oh my god

**cheddarjohn:** u know i liked mr strickler but this is strangely satisfying

**furzalski:** asmr video but it’s just me hitting strickler in the nuts on a loop

**springflingking:** toby what the fuck

**keepitcrispy:** idk if that’s what’s asmr is but ok then dude

**cheddarjohn:** is this all that happens in this group chat

**cheddarjohn:** memes n lowkey roasting each other

**keepitcrispy:** no

**potterybitch:** yes.

**potterybitch:** that is exactly what happens here.

**cheddarjohn:** cool

**springflingking:** my kinda people

**cheddarjohn:** steve i had to explain rickrolling to u yesterday

**furzalski:** exposed

**springflingking:** in my defense

**springflingking:** you sent me the same video like five times and i was confused

**potterybitch:** step up your meme game, palchuk.

**keepitcrispy:** did i ever even tell u his last name

**springflingking:** yea wtf man

**potterybitch:** changeling intuition.

**keepitcrispy:** that’s fuckin bullshit

**juliet:** yea

**potterybitch:** that and some good old-fashioned snooping.

**springflingking:** what’s even the point

**potterybitch:** security.

**keepitcrispy:** she’s just bein nosy

**potterybitch:** rude.

**keepitcrispy:** u asked me if i wanted to help u snoop thru the other changelings’ shit

**potterybitch:** well, i was bored and they were mostly gone.

**potterybitch:** i thought someone was out but then we accidentally went into his room when he was… let’s keep this chat pg.

**keepitcrispy:** he was watching furry porn

**potterybitch:** i just wanted to keep the chat pg, please. 

**furzalski:** what the fuck

**springflingking:** says the dude who’s username is a furry joke

**juliet:** roasted

**furzalski:** that’s fair

**cheddarjohn:** ur lives are fuckin wild

**keepitcrispy:** me n nomura just looked at each other like what the fuck

**potterybitch:** which is the appropriate response to walking in on someone watching 

furry porn.

**furzalski:** hypothetically

**furzalski:** how would u react if u caught me watching furry porn

**keepitcrispy:** immediately disown u as a friend

**furzalski:** harsh

**cheddarjohn:** that is a weird question

**furzalski:** h y p o t h e t i c a l l y e l i

**cheddarjohn:** s t i l l

**juliet:** we all know that tobias fucking domzalski is a furry

**furzalski:** that’s not what the f stands for

**keepitcrispy:** it stands for fury

**furzalski:** f u r y

**furzalski:** it might not look like but i am FULL of it

**keepitcrispy:** i didn’t mean to make that typo but it’s perfect

**furzalski:** short ppl are full of insatiable rage

**cheddarjohn:** u right

**springflingking:** once i swear i saw eli judoflip kyle

**cheddarjohn:** he was being an asshoe

**keepitcrispy:** a s s h o e

**cheddarjohn:** GODDAMNUT

 

**keepitcrispy** changed the chat name to  **asshoes**

 

**cheddarjohn:** frankly im offended

**springflingking:** you’ll recover

**cheddarjohn:** thx

**juliet:** i leave for ten minutes

**keepitcrispy:** this chat never dies

**juliet:** except for during school

**keepitcrispy:** but we’re not in school

**furzalski:** HELL YEAH WE’RE NTO

**keepitcrispy:** the typo virus is spreading

**juliet:** fuck

**cheddarjohn:** does that make me patient zero

**furzalski:** i think jim technically was patient zero

**keepitcrispy:** ah yes

**potterybitch:** you make one type, and you spread it to everyone else.

**potterybitch:** oh no.

**keepitcrispy:** IT’S REACHED NOMURA

**springflingking:** holy shit

**potterybitch:** you children are ridiculous. 

**keepitcrispy:** don’t worry nomura we’ll save u from the virus

**potterybitch:** oh boy. 

**furzalski:** nomura’s done with our shit

**potterybitch:** i really am.

**furzalski:** that’s fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well folks that's the end of this mess of a chapter. this is just some filler before we start,,,,, smth a lil interesting ;)
> 
> next week, miscellaneous conversations are had n someone needs help
> 
> leave a comment or maybe a kudo if u haven't already, see u all next monday, love u!


	29. the case of the missing capybara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone goes missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooh y'all ready for the start of a mini arc in this series
> 
> anyways yea, a lot of this is humor but. ye. enjoy :)

**keepitcrispy:** hey nomura

**potterybitch:** what?

**keepitcrispy:** [glooow.jpg]

**potterybitch:** nice.

**keepitcrispy:** yea i went to get ready for bed n before i turned on the light i got a glimpse of myself in the mirror

**keepitcrispy:** fuckin scared myself shitless

**potterybitch:** they’re different than most changelings.

**keepitcrispy:** yea don’t theirs glow yellow n red

**potterybitch:** exactly. perhaps it’s your human genetics. they simply glow blue.

**keepitcrispy:** keeps with my aesthetic

**potterybitch:** so that’s what your call your monotone wardrobe.

**keepitcrispy:** hey don’t call me out

**potterybitch:** i am only stating the truth.

**keepitcrispy:** you’re roasting me rn

**potterybitch:** okay, maybe a little.

**keepitcrispy:** rude

**keepitcrispy:** huh

**potterybitch:** what?

**keepitcrispy:** the chat’s pretty empty

**potterybitch:** i was wondering why no one joined in to help me roast you.

**keepitcrispy:** gee thx

**keepitcrispy:** like tobes left earlier than me but his bedroom light is on so

**keepitcrispy:** and steve n eli aren’t here

**keepitcrispy:** do u think claire ever uses her phone when the pale lady is using her as a minion

**potterybitch:** i think we would know if she did.

**keepitcrispy:** probably

**cheddarjohn:** oh my god

**cheddarjohn:** do changelings not sleep

**keepitcrispy:** not when i just got home

**potterybitch:** trolls sleep less than humans do.

**cheddarjohn:** well i wanna like

**cheddarjohn:** do stuff

**keepitcrispy:** that’s slightly supsicious

**cheddarjohn:** no

**cheddarjohn:** it’s kinda stupid but i have a project i’ve been working on for months

**keepitcrispy:** is it like that fucking last resort steve spilled on me

**cheddarjohn:** no it’s not that

**cheddarjohn:** i’m not done with it yet but you’ll see

**potterybitch:** that still sounds suspicious.

**cheddarjohn:** so glowing eyes

**cheddarjohn:** that’s just a changeling thing or

**keepitcrispy:** i think glowing eyes is just a troll thing in general yea?

**potterybitch:** yes.

**keepitcrispy:** u know what steve’s up to?

**cheddarjohn:** sleeping? bc its like 1 AM?

**keepitcrispy:** that seems way too logical

**cheddarjohn:** totally

**keepitcrispy:** unimaginable

**potterybitch:** how dare he?

**cheddarjohn:** ikr

**cheddarjohn:** completely outlandish

**keepitcrispy:** undescribely fantasical

**potterybitch:** do you even know what you’re talking about anymore?

**keepitcrispy:** never thx for asking

**juliet:** hey can one of u tell claire that she left her phone at my house

**keepitcrispy:** uHHH who is this??

**juliet:** it’s darci

**juliet:** yea she just like forgot it but when i tried to chase her down she was just. gone. 

**potterybitch:** sure!

**juliet:** aren’t u one of claire’s theatre friends

**potterybitch:** pardon?

**juliet:** from arcadia oaks academy

**potterybitch:** oh, yes. i just love theatre.

**keepitcrispy:** yea c’mon patricia introduce urself

**potterybitch:** jim, i will end you the next time i see you.

**keepitcrispy:** she’s a little cranky

**potterybitch:** i’m not kidding.

**cheddarjohn:** a lot cranky

**potterybitch:** you too, pepperjack.

**cheddarjohn:** thats fair

**cheddarjohn:** but u gotta wait longer

**potterybitch:** damn.

**juliet:** so can u just pass the message along for me? Thanks!

**potterybitch:** no problem.

**cheddarjohn:** are you actually going to kill me

**potterybitch:** i can’t kill a child.

**cheddarjohn:** im 16!

**potterybitch:** and i’m almost three hundred. you are all like infants to me.

**keepitcrispy:** but u wouldn’t kill an infant right

**potterybitch:** i almost killed notenrique.

**keepitcrispy:** isn’t he like. fucking old

**potterybitch:** that’s not the point.

**keepitcrispy:** okay i’m actually starting to get worried abt toby?

**keepitcrispy:** brb i gotta go check on him

**cheddarjohn:** do u think hes okay?

**potterybitch:** tobias is a tough kid. 

**keepitcrispy:** so uh. argh! is here but toby is not

**keepitcrispy:** he was waiting for him but he? never came home?

**potterybitch:** do you think it might be angor rot?

**keepitcrispy:** personal grudge + no soul? yea prbly

**cheddarjohn:** well guess i finally get to see trollmarket

**potterybitch:** and i can’t kill you next time i see you.

**potterybitch:** mission rescue domzalski?

**keepitcrispy:** we might need some help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok the chapter name is based off me n my friend figuring out that toby's fursona was a capybara yep. i named it after that
> 
> if you like this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already. i try to stay on top of answering comments but i've fallen behind as of late, so this afternoon if i have time i will go thru a mass answering spree. next chapter, a search is launched!


	30. mission rescue domzalski

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan is formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh what they gon do?? we'll find out
> 
> god i wish we'd met more changelings in season 3 but bc we didn't i can add all the random changelings i want (mwa ha ha)
> 
> anyways plz enjoy!!

**potterybitch** created the group  **mission rescue domzalski**

 

**potterybitch** added  **keepitcrispy** ,  **cheddarjohn** ,  **blinknwink** and two others.

 

**springflingking:** ok first off thx for calling me fifteen times eli

**cheddarjohn:** youre welcome

**blinknwink:** What do you think has happened to him?

**potterybitch:** we think angor rot has kidnapped him.

**waltstrickler:** Why does this involve me?

**cheddarjohn:** well this is awkward

**potterybitch:** you’re the one with all the changeling’s contact info.

**potterybitch:** you know i woke up the half dozen sleeping in my house and eating all my cereal already.

**potterybitch:** [cranky changelings.jpg]

**waltstrickler:** On it.

**cheddarjohn:** oh shit yeah ill wake up kyle

**blinknwink:** Kyle? Who in the world is Kyle?

**cheddarjohn:** hes a changeling whos been staying with us?

**cheddarjohn:** i told my moms he was a friend from school who got thrown out of his house bc his parents found out he was gay and they bought it

**potterybitch:** his familiar’s family thinks he’s working as a counselor at a summer camp.

**keepitcrispy:** a teenage changeling?

**cheddarjohn:** he could answer ur changeling puberty question

**keepitcrispy:** maybe after we save my best friend from evil trolls

**springflingking:** so we’re just? ambushing trollmarket

**keepitcrispy:** yeah basically?

**blinknwink:** What about Claire? She might be there.

**keepitcrispy:** i haven’t thought of that part

**keepitcrispy:** if she’s there we know she’s under the pale lady’s influence and

**potterybitch:** jim?

**keepitcrispy:** we should try to get there before the sun starts to rise

**waltstrickler:** We can assemble under the bridge at 2:30 AM.

**waltstrickler:** Is that alright with everyone?

**springflingking:** this is a full fledged invasion

**potterybitch:** yes, it is.

**waltstrickler:** Stop texting and get ready. 

**potterybitch:** we need something called a  _ plan _ , stricklander, before we go in. 

**blinknwink:** Are you prepared to face Gunmar, Master Jim?

**potterybitch:** let’s not get too carried away, blinkous.

**potterybitch:** the reinforcements are a distraction. his army will be fighting them and we can slip it through the gyre entrance. 

**blinknwink:** It’s still closed off, no doubt. 

**potterybitch:** got any dwörkstone?

**blinknwink:** You know I do. 

**potterybitch:** that’s how we get in. 

**potterybitch:** steve, eli, stricklander, and the other changelings will go in the direct entrance. 

**potterybitch:** blinkous, argh!, jim and i will head in through the gyre. 

**waltstrickler:** My intel says he’s most likely in the holding cells. There shouldn’t be too many guards. 

**springflingking:** if u told me a year ago i’d be storming a world full of trolls with my former teacher who is a troll n someone who i beat up for believing in trolls 

**springflingking:** i would ask you what u were on

**cheddarjohn:** but here we are

**springflingking:** how things change

**potterybitch:** everyone okay with the plan?

**waltstrickler:** Seems adequate. 

**potterybitch:** little gynt, we still need your input. 

**keepitcrispy:** i’m ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tune in next monday to find out how their plan worked ? (or if it did)
> 
> leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u liked this chapter! yeet\
> 
> i have had so much time to write like. i've written nine new chapters since s3 came out n it's gr8 my dudes so i have plenty more chapters (plus i'm nowhere near finished yet but i'm gonna start figuring out how to reach that closer) so stay on the look out bc ur summer (or like. whatever season it is where u live i guess?) is gonna be full of new tylt chapters as i wait for 3below in the winter n cry


	31. give them a break. please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is... somewhat okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah usually i have a draft saved in the morning but congrats! i went to bed at 1 AM n i'm dying
> 
> speaking of dying, please enjoy this next chapter!

**potterybitch:** everyone get home okay?

**keepitcrispy:** yes mom

**potterybitch:** don’t test me.

**potterybitch:** how’s tobias doing?

**keepitcrispy:** i mean

**keepitcrispy:** he’s asleep on my couch rn

**springflingking:** eli n kyle r stayin at my house so they don’t have to explain to the pepperjack ladies why they’re coming home so late

**cheddarjohn:** they worry

**blinknwink:** Arrrgh! and I are- well, technically not  _ home _ , but we got back alright.

**keepitcrispy:** god

**keepitcrispy:** it’s 5 AM

**keepitcrispy:** i think i aged ten years that was so stressful

**potterybitch:** i mean, watching your best friend almost die at the hands of a soulless troll assassin and your girlfriend can be a bit traumatic.

**keepitcrispy:** i’m fine i’m just really tired

**potterybitch:** get some sleep, little gynt.

**keepitcrispy:** but what if toby wakes up

**potterybitch:** you can just sleep in the living room.

**keepitcrispy:** yeah

**potterybitch:** i have to say, i admire your diligence.

**keepitcrispy:** what?

**potterybitch:** you trusted your instincts. if we had gotten there any later, who knows what they would have done to him.

**keepitcrispy:** i don’t want to think abt that

**keepitcrispy:** i wish we could have done something for claire

**keepitcrispy:** do you know any way we could help her?

**potterybitch:** i don’t know.

**keepitcrispy:** hold on

**keepitcrispy:** i think toby’s waking up

**keepitcrispy:** no that was just a snore

**potterybitch:** you seem worried.

**keepitcrispy:** i think i have reason to be

**potterybitch:** tobias is a strong kid. even with a sprained ankle, he knocked out a few gumm-gumms. 

**keepitcrispy:** yeah

**potterybitch:** i know you care about your friends a lot, little gynt. they care about you too.

**potterybitch:** it’s frightening when you lose the ones close to you. i’ve seen one too many of my brethen lost to not know that.

**potterybitch:** support tobias, just as he’s supported you. kidnapping is never something people completely recover from. 

**keepitcrispy:** thank you nomura

**potterybitch:** don’t mention it.

**keepitcrispy:** like you always give the best advice n stuff how do u do that

**potterybitch:** somehow i became the supportive adult who guides you through all the bullshit of this life. i do not know how, but in a way, it’s reassuring.

**keepitcrispy:** u know a few months ago u were trying to kill me in the middle of the forest

**potterybitch:** i don’t know how i got here either, little gynt. 

**potterybitch:** i must say, it is kind of nice.

**keepitcrispy:** it’s nice for us too

**potterybitch:** don’t kid yourself. you’re the only who appreciates my advice  _ and _ my memes.

**keepitcrispy:** hey it isn’t a changeling thing here

**keepitcrispy:** we appreciate u

**potterybitch:** i know. but you get most of my advice.

**potterybitch:** trust me, little gynt, if it was a changeling thing, your ‘pure’ troll friends wouldn’t appreciate me at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yOpe yea that
> 
> oof anyways if u liked leave a comment or kudo, if u haven't already
> 
> next chapter is abt,,, smth. the aftermath of it all. nice.


	32. everything's fine, everything's normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything, they stop and have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoo it is some. maybe happiness? idk
> 
> usually i do these as drafts beforehand but i keep forgetting n i'm really tired so i want to write something witty but uh. enjoy

**juliet:** wow ok just got my phone back from darci and

**juliet:** what happened last night

**furzalski:** uh

**keepitcrispy:** stuff

**furzalski:** don’t wanna talk abt it plz n thank u

**potterybitch:** it was a long night that you, unfortunately, played a part in.

**juliet:** oh god

**juliet:** okay

**juliet:** i’m sorry

**juliet:** yea shit

**juliet:** toby r u ok?

**furzalski:** yea i mean

**furzalski:** kinda sprained my ankle n i can’t really see out of my right eye

**furzalski:** and have some generally bad feelings

**furzalski:** not towards u but just. in general

**potterybitch:** so, you might be missing out on training today?

**furzalski:** eh i might still go to distract myself from the trauma

**keepitcrispy:** personally i find sparring a gr8 stress reliever but that’s kinda hard on a sprained ankle

**furzalski:** yea especially with the hammer like,,, that’s not gonna work

**furzalski:** but watching u guys beat up each other? that’ll do for now

**potterybitch:** i feel like i need to call up a therapist for all of you kids some time.

**juliet:** see i would accept but it’s hard to explain ‘yea so i’m kinda a puppet for a dark troll sorceress who makes me hurt my friends w/o my consent’

**potterybitch:** yes, you’re right about that.

**blinknwink:** Tobias! Are you back at full health?

**furzalski:** i mean im still limpin around jim’s house so? technically no

**keepitcrispy:** he is

**blinknwink:** How are you feeling?

**furzalski:** like i wanna die

**potterybitch:** are there any troll psychologists, blinkous?

**blinknwink:** Not that I know of.

**potterybitch:** wonderful.

**springflingking:** [wow.jpg]

**potterybitch:** kyle was always a strange one.

**keepitcrispy:** so that’s just his name huh

**keepitcrsipy:** kyle the changeling

**potterybitch:** yes.

**furzalski:** wait who tf is kyle

**springflingking:** he’s that changeling dude who’s living with eli

**furzalski:** oH YEA

**furzalski:** dude wields a mean axe

**potterybitch:** i don’t even know how he holds it sometimes.

**furzalski:** pure teen angst, probably

**potterybitch:** what does that even mean?

**furzalski:** u know

**furzalski:** his angst gives him energy so he can just

**furzalski:** use it

**springflingking:** i have no idea what you’re saying

**potterybitch:** me neither?

**furzalski:** that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth

**blinknwink:** What a deep insight.

**juliet:** jfc tp

**furzalski:** i’m really fuckin tired ok

**furzalski:** i couldn’t really sleep u know

**furzalski:** that’s just how life goes u knows

**keepitcrispy:** i thought u were asleep for like three hours

**furzalski:** nope just laying there trying to distract myself from the past six hours but thx for caring

**furzalski:** b4 u ask yes i did hear ur nervous muttering as u stayed up all night

**juliet:** yea this has been a trip

**potterybitch:** tobias, it’s alright if you want to stay home to have some time to yourself.

**furzalski:** actually that is the exact opposite of what i want

**furzalski:** thx for asking tho

**potterybitch:** alright then.

**cheddarjohn:** dude u ok

**keepitcrispy:** never

**furzalski:** are any of us

**juliet:** eh

**cheddarjohn:** that’s fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is sorta short? sorry. i hope yall enjoyed it n if u did, maybe leave a comment or a kudo? i can't tell u what to do
> 
> man i hate that they got rid of the thing where they told u if u got a comment when u opened ao3. that would make answering comments so much easier. they banned ao3 on our school computers so like? thx a lot SCHOOL (i'm stuck in summer school rn which means i have plenty of time to write but not time for anything else fun)
> 
> next week: claire gets a text from [redacted]!


	33. wrong number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chat partakes in a little playful teasing and an unexpected guest decides they may have made a bad choice with timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man this is another shorty but it has some fun shit
> 
> this is like. lowkey what every convo i have with my friends is like. thank u.
> 
> anyways just read it i'm not good at notes lately

**keepitcrispy:** fuck

**furzalski:** mood

**keepitcrispy:** you’re literally in my living room

**furzalski:** u right

**cheddarjohn:** how can one 4 letter word so perfectly describe someone’s existence

**blinknwink:** Ah, the beautiful complexities of language.

**springflingking:** yea

**potterybitch:** eloquently put, mr. palchuk.

**springflingking:** why

**potterybitch:** because i can, bitch.

**keepitcrispy:** the duality of man

**potterybitch:** my human form is elegant. my troll form is a badass bitch.

**juliet:** who said they were exclusive

**potterybitch:** i cannot this fleshbag teenager is smarter than any philosopher who has ever existed. astonishing.

**juliet:** ikr it’s amazing

**cheddarjohn:** truly

**furzalski:** [rip jim.jpg]

**juliet:** fkjiof get this boy to a bed

**furzalski:** urs?

**juliet:** T O B I A S

**potterybitch:** tobias, please refrain.

**furzalski:** i saw a chance n i fucking took it

**cheddarjohn:** i fucking c a n t

**juliet:** wE HAVENOT EVEN FOFOWFFOW

**cheddarjohn:** did u break claire

**springflingking:** rip claire nuñez she lived a beautiful life

**juliet:** oh my god

**furzalski:** no

**juliet:** for the fucking record me n jim have not had sex

**furzalski:** that’s fair

**cheddarjohn:** thank u for specifying i guess

**juliet:** you’re welcome

**blinknwink:** This conversation has taken quite a twist.

**furzalski:** blinky i’m so sorry

**juliet:** it’s all his fault

**furzalski:** gee thx claire

**juliet:** it’s the truth

**keepitcrispy:** wHY

**furzalski:** guess who’s awake

**keepitcrispy:** thx guys for talkin bout my sex life without me

**potterybitch:** this chat is always such an adventure.

**furzalski:** no prob bro

**potterybitch:** it was an interesting conversation during those five minutes you were out cold.

**juliet:** gET SOME SLEPE JIMOTHY

**furzalski:** yea get some slepe

 

**cheddarjohn** changed the chat name to  **slepe my child**

 

**juliet:** why

**cheddarjohn:** bc i can

**juliet:** i make one typo

**furzalski:** u call out jim whenever he says yall

**juliet:** ok u got me there

**keepitcrispy:** is it bc i barely say yall

**juliet:** that n you’re not a cowboy

**furzalski:** i mean u don’t have to be a cowboy to say yall

**juliet:** yea but we’re in southern calironia not south carolina

**furzalski:** i think u missed a few letters there bud

**furzalski:** maybe you’re the one who needs slepe

**juliet:** f i n e

**juliet:** i’ll go to bed in a minuyr

**furzalski:** a minuyr?

**juliet:** _ fuck you _

**furzalski:** save that for jim

**juliet:** babe i’m coming to ur house to fight toby

**keepitcrispy:** please don’t

**juliet:** i’m already shadow portaling into your driveway

**furzalski:** NO

**cheddarjohn:** rip toby, gone too soon

**springflingking:** i can’t believe toby just got fucking murdered

**furzalski:** i’m not dead yet bitches

 

**angorrotten** created the group  **argante’s minions**

 

**angorrotten** added  **juliet**

 

**angorrotten:** hello

**juliet:** who gave u a fucking phone n get out of my messages

**angorrotten:** oh wrong #

**juliet:** dude ik you’re lying you’re trying to talk to me when i’m under morgana’s control

**angorrotten:** uh

**angorrotten:** i think the pale lady is calling me i must leave

**juliet:** yea leave bitch

 

**angorrotten** has left the group

  
**juliet:** that’s right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh angor rot bein a bitch n texting claire? hm??? interesting
> 
> if u like leave a comment n a kudo
> 
> next chapter toby introduces a cursed concept n nearly gets banned from the gc


	34. everyone almost blocks toby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby says something cursed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugihffA no but toby is me in every group chat. whenever i say smth involving the word 'dilf' my friends know it ain't gonna be good. i once called our crew leader 'an occasional dilf' 
> 
> enjoy this.

**furzalski:** i have a suggestion

**cheddarjohn:** oh god

**furzalski:** tilf

**keepitcrispy:** why

**juliet:** mood

**keepitcrispy:** djgoosg

**cheddarjohn:** why am i still in this gc

**keepitcrispy:** bc on occasion smth important happens

**cheddarjohn:** thats fair

**potterybitch:** why, tobias?

**furzalski:** just that kinda day

**keepitcrispy:** there’s been a lot of terrible things in this chat n this is the worst

**juliet:** the worst thing to happen in this chat was it being created

**furzalski:** ok fair

**potterybitch:** “barbara lake is a milf.” - walter strickler, 2017

**keepitcrispy:** giuo

**keepitcrispy:** blocked

**furzalski:** very blocked

**cheddarjohn:** cursed

**juliet:** so cursed

**potterybitch:** i will not apologize. 

**keepitcrispy:** never refer to my mom as a milf again

**potterybitch:** i’ll wait until you’re offline.

**furzalski:** bold of u to assume he’s ever offline

**cheddarjohn:** i mean

**cheddarjohn:** he n nomura text a lot when no one else is on

**potterybitch:** trolls are nocturnal.

**blinknwink:** That’s not exactly true.

**keepitcrispy:** how to summon blinky - incorrect facts abt troll anatomy

**furzalski:** hey blink

**juliet:** oh god

**furzalski:** is argh a tilf

**keepitcrispy:** stop

**keepitcrispy:** no

**keepitcrispy:** please

**juliet:** don’t answer him blinky i’m begging you

**blinknwink:** Is this in any way related to our conversation about DILFs?

**juliet:** BLINKY

**keepitcrispy:** tobes you’ve tainted our father for the last time

**potterybitch:** your dilf?

**keepitcrispy:** WHY

**juliet:** OH GOD

**springflingking:** what the ACTUAL FUCK is going on here

**blinknwink:** I must ask the same thing.

**keepitcrispy:** tobes is saying terrible things

**springflingking:** thay explains a lot

**furzalski:** my suggestion is valid

**keepitcrispy:** it’s the least valid thing you’ve ever said

**potterybitch:** it’s the worst text i’ve ever gotten from this chat.

**juliet:** definitely

**juliet:** and that’s counting the ‘sexting god’ text

**blinknwink:** For Merlin’s sake, please don’t remind me of that incident.

**juliet:** too late

**blinknwink:** I have decided not to answer your question, Tobias.

**furzalski:** aw

**keepitcrispy:** thank god

**springflingking:** wait claire did u call jim a tilf earlier

**juliet:** not directly

**keepitcrispy:** steve no

**furzalski:** saucy

**juliet:** jim is a tilf 2k18

**keepitcrispy:** where’s gunmar to end me from the tilf hell

**juliet:** u know i still have angor rot on speeddial

**keepitcrispy:** are u kidding or do u actually have his number

**furzalski:** wait does he even have a phone

**juliet:** he tried texting me last night

**keepitcrispy:** klzfs iconic

**juliet:** it was definitely weird

**cheddarjohn:** yea u never expect a troll assassin to text u

**keepitcrispy:** why tho

**juliet:** i think he thought i was in minion mode? Idk

**keepitcrispy:** minion mode?

**juliet:** oK LOOK

**keepitcrispy:** isgeina

**juliet:** idk why angor rot decided to text me but that’s smth for me after sunset

**keepitcrispy:** that sounds like u n angor r meeting up for late night rendezvouses

**juliet:** technically we kinda r but not the fun kind the murdery magic kind i guess?

**keepitcrispy:** fair

**keepitcrispy:** just don’t fuck angor rot

**juliet:** he’s not even a tilf

**furzalski:** he’s a thot

**keepitcrispy:** u right

**juliet:** anyways i told him not to text me n he was like ‘oh’ then immediately ended the chat

**juliet:** it was hilarious

**keepitcrispy:** gr8 job babe

**juliet:** thx

**juliet:** might prank call him someday but that’s for another day

**furzalski:** but that would be hilarious tho

**furzalski:** ‘hey is ur fridge running’ ‘what the fuck is a fridge’

**keepitcrispy:** dfzijpijggd

**juliet:** anyways toby you’re blocked

**furzalski:** u know what that’s fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet this is the last chapter i wrote b4 season 3 n i'm crying abt how fucking PERFECT it is with timing. i was finishing up this chapter knowing FULL WELL that it was canon claire was a monster fucker. hell yea.
> 
> i hope y'all enjoyed this one! if u did, leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u haven't already. next week - bone drugs.


	35. bone drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli tries to get his hands on grave sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: weed is mentioned a few times in this chapter
> 
> while writing this chapter i tried to rename my gc to 'bone drugs' but i made a typo so for like a month it's been 'bome drugs' 
> 
> yea this is my first full chapter i wrote after season 3! i finished chapter 34 after s3 came out which was. very appropriate. but yes. this was super fun to write n i laughed my ass off abt five times writing this so i hope y'all enjoy it too! read on!

**potterybitch:** [rest in peace jim.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** i thought u said u wouldn’t send that

**potterybitch:** i lied. 

**cheddarjohn:** sogsoi oh my god

**furzalski:** what the actual fuck jimothy

**keepitcrispy:** _ someone _ drugged me with bone drugs

**potterybitch:** it was stricklander.

**springflingking:** when ur former prinicipal drugs u

**furzalski:** bone drugs???

**potterybitch:** grave sand. it’s made out of the remains of fallen gumm-gumms. 

**furzalski:** ah. bone drugs

**potterybitch:** it helps a changeling embrace their more trollish nature. he thought it would be helpful with our training.

**keepitcrispy:** i ended up yeeting a changeling into nomura’s tree

**furzalski:** was it the muffin thief

**potterybitch:** [muffin thief is dead.jpg]

**potterybitch:** yes.

**furzalski:** iconic

**potterybitch:** [troll boy.jpg]

**potterybitch:** look at how adorable his troll form is.

**keepitcrispy:** i’m insulted

**potterybitch:** don’t be.

**furzalski:** how many pictures did u take

**potterybitch:** strickler was commandering my house for training. i was bored. 

**keepitcrispy:** i snapped out of it and i screamed bc i looked at my hand n i was confused

**keepitcrispy:** tbf i only had 9 fingers

**furzalski:** rest in pieces

**potterybitch:** at least you accessed it.

**keepitcrispy:** i’m just happy that i got out of it without dying

**keepitcrispy:** also my voice is deeper now

**keepitcrispy:** the ultimate life hack

**cheddarjohn:** holy shit 

**cheddarjohn:** nomura can i have some bone drugs

**potterybitch:** no.

**cheddarjohn:** let me have the bone drugs

**juliet:** what in the fucking fuck

**cheddarjohn:** you dont need testosterone with  _ bone drugs _

**juliet:** what thE FUCK ARE BONE DRUGS

**potterybitch:** i would tell you but i am laughing too fucking hard.

**keepitcrispy:** ELI NO

**cheddarjohn:** bone drugs bone drugs brone drugs

**potterybitch:** it’s grave sand. it’s made out of the remains of fallen gumm-gumms. 

**potterybitch:** it’s used to help changelings channel their trollish nature. 

**juliet:** what does it do to humans

**potterybitch:** it kills them.

**cheddarjohn:** i actually dont want bone drugs

**potterybitch:** i’m merely joking. it makes them turn more violent.

**cheddarjohn:** a price i’ll pay

**furzalski:** hey claire did you see the picture nomura sent of jim’s troll form

**juliet:** is this bc i called jim a tilf

**blinknwink:** I came in at the worst time, didn’t I?

**potterybitch:** it’s your speciality. 

**blinknwink:** Hold on. 

**blinknwink:** Did you give Master Jim grave dust?

**potterybitch:** stricklander did.

**keepitcrispy:** i was just chilling and he blew it on my face

**potterybitch:** we were drinking coffee. he almost spilled it on himself.

**keepitcrispy:** din’t expose me like this zelda

**juliet:** such a tilf

**cheddarjohn:** can we let that word die

**juliet:** i just saw nomura’s picture so no

**keepitcrispy:** soniosf

**furzalski:** i’m dying

**blinknwink:** Claire, you’re- what was that word?

**furzalski:** blocked?

**blinknwink:** Blocked!

**juliet:** my dad just blocked me

**springflingking:** me too

**keepitcrispy:** mood

**juliet:** holy shit

**furzalski:** blinky’s blockin ppl, strickler is giving jim drugs, what the fuck is happening today

**potterybitch:** it’s technically not a drug.

**keepitcrispy:** i’d call it a drug

**juliet:** wait are u taller?

**keepitcrispy:** yea just a bit

**juliet:** dang

**cheddarjohn:** i need the bone drugs

**springflingking:** eli no

**springflingking:** say no to bone drugs

**cheddarjohn:** stfu steve u have a bong in ur room

**furzalski:** oh my god

**springflingking:** …

**springflingking:** where’s the proof

**cheddarjohn:** [steve’s fucking bong.jpg]

**springflingking:** WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE

**cheddarjohn:** for this exact instance

**keepitcrispy:** it’s shaped like a fckin soccer ball??

**springflingking:** IT WAS A JOKE GIFT FROM LOGAN

**springflingking:** he got it for me when i turned 16 bc he’s an asshole

**furzalski:** can i borrow it

**juliet:** toby you’re not getting high off of steve’s bong

**juliet:** that’s the weirdest thing i’ve ever said

**potterybitch:** you can borrow mine.

**furzalski:** N O MU RA

**blinknwink:** No one is getting high today. 

**furzalski:** so,,,,,, have u ever used it

**blinknwink:** Tobias!

**furzalski:** i’m just asking!!!

**juliet:** oh my god

**springflingking:** yea i used it once

**keepitcrispy:** stoner

**springflingking:** go fuck urself lake

**cheddarjohn:** can u smoke grave sand

**potterybitch:** it’s not reccomended. 

**cheddarjohn:** so i can smoke it

**keepitcrispy:** smoke those good bone drugs

**furzalski:** let’s get LIT ya’ll

**keepitcrispy:** tobes.

**furzalski:** what

**furzalski:** fuck

**juliet:** u fuckin cowboy

**keepitcrispy:** at least it wasn’t me this time

**potterybitch:** you are not smoking grave sand!

**springflingking:** not with that attitude

**blinknwink:** If any of you children try to smoke any grave sand, I will block you.

**potterybitch:** harsh, but fair. 

**keepitcrispy:** fine, dad

**blinknwink:** Uisohgafpa

**keepitcrispy:** blinky?

**furzalski:** you mcfuckin killed him

**blinknwink:** I’m sorry, I was just a little shocked. I almost dropped my phone.

**furzalski:** was that a four handed keyboard smash

**blinknwink:** My lower pair of hands are not as good at texting as my other hands.

**blinknwink:** I must ask a question, Master Jim.

**keepitcrispy:** sure

**blinknwink:** What about your teeth?

**keepitcrispy:** they are still there in my human form, bein a pain in the ass, but they’re larger in my troll form

**keepitcrispy:** man it’s weird talkin abt forms

**blinknwink:** Ah. I see. 

**keepitcrispy:** so my teeth are the pain in the ass any time of day

**blinknwink:** That’s one way of putting it.

**furzalski:** yea

**blinknwink:** I’m also banning bone drugs.

**furzalski:** you can’t do that

**blinknwink:** Not with that attitude. But none of you can even go near bone drugs.

**blinknwink:** Even you, Nomura.

**potterybitch:** you cannot stop me, blinkous.

**blinknwink:** Tobias, hold my beer.

**furzalski:** sjbnousgbigsb

**keepitcrispy:** blinky plz stop with the memes

**blinknwink:** No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeet! troll jim makes an appearance (sorta), claire is exposed as a monsterfucker, and blinky tries to block claire. what chaos. but that's just what it's like in this bitch of a group chat
> 
> next chapter, some special guests make an appearance. u could say that they're out of those world! :P. rn i'm finishing up chapter 49, which means i'm almost on chapter 50!!! which is just. wow. when i started writing this fic it was just a stupid idea that i thought would never really become,,,, well, this. but here i am, still going strong. i've never really written a multichapter fic that lasted more than 10 chapters, or a chat fic in general, but this has certainly been an adventure. i'd like to thank all my readers - not just the ones who've been here since to the early chapters, but the ones who've started a little late and kept on reading. a story is only as great as its readers, right?
> 
> so one that note y'all, if u liked this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already. love you all! xoxo


	36. an interlude from out of this world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darci introduces her friends to her new neighbors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *x-files theme playing*
> 
> for once i don't have much to say here so uh, enjoy the chapter! yea!

**beammeupdarci** created the group  **new neighbors**

 

**beammeupdarci** added  **maryyyyy** ,  **juliet** ,  **furzalski** , and 1 other to the group

 

**beammeupdarci:** can you guys do me a favor

**furzalski:** sure

**juliet:** yea

**maryyyyy:** i guess

**keepitcrispy:** why am i here

**beammeupdarci:** i have some new neighbors that like

**beammeupdarci:** don’t know anyone here

**beammeupdarci:** can you guys like idk

**furzalski:** introduce them to ppl in the town?

**beammeupdarci:** yea!

**furzalski:** we can do that

**maryyyyy:** are they cute

**juliet:** you have a gf

**maryyyyy:** hey maybe i was going to try to set them up with ppl u don’t know my life

**juliet:** fair

**keepitcrispy:** seriously why am i here

 

**beammeupdarci** added  **aja** and  **krel** to the group

 

**aja:** hello!

**krel:** yo

**beammeupdarci:** these are my neighbors aja n krel

**furzalski:** hey i’m toby

**juliet:** hi i’m claire

**maryyyyy:** yoo! i’m mary

**keepitcrispy:** i’m jim

**aja:** it is nice to meet you all!

**krel:** yea

**juliet:** so where did u guys move from

**aja:** we’re from cantalupia!

**aja:** it’s european!

**krel:** you don’t have to add exclamation points to the end of every sentence

**aja:** but it’s fun!

**juliet:** i don’t think i’ve ever heard of that

**krel:** maybe you should pay attention in geography

**furzalski:** so what r u guys into

**aja:** i like computers and my brother is a lively disc jockey!

**maryyyyy:** disc jockey?

**juliet:** lively?

**aja:** it’s like cool! lively!

**juliet:** that’s cool

**furzalski:** don’t u mean

**furzalski:** that’s lively

**aja:** that’s the spirit!

**krel:** i make music

**maryyyyy:** so like a dj

**beammeupdarci:** that’s what a disc jockey is

**maryyyyy:** ah ok i get it

**aja:** yes! he is terrific!

**aja:** [audio1.mp3]

**maryyyyy:** it’s interesting?

**krel:** i told you they weren’t ready for it

**aja:** still!

**maryyyyy:** is it alright if i add more ppl

**beammeupdarci:** sure go ahead

**maryyyyy:** nice

 

**maryyyyy** added  **shanlonghan** to the group

 

**keepitcrispy:** i’m putting this chat on mute

**furzalski:** could u try

**keepitcrispy:** i’m busy tobes

**furzalski:** fiiiine

**shanlonghan:** babe i love u but why did u add me to this group chat

**maryyyyy:** aja n krel meet my girlfriend shannon

**aja:** oh! your girlfriend! lively!

**shanlonghan:** nice to meet u

**maryyyyy:** they’re new to town

**shanlonghan:** ik i read up in the chat

**krel:** it’s nice to meet you too

 

**furzalski** added  **cheddarjohn** and  **springflingking** to the group

 

**maryyyyy:** but why

**cheddarjohn:** yea why are u adding us to random group chats

**springflingking:** a little bit of notice next time domzalski

**furzalski:** eh maybe

**furzalski:** meet eli n steve

**aja:** so many new people! 

**krel:** hello

**cheddarjohn:** hey

**springflingking:** yo

**springflingking:** can i leave now

**furzalski:** no

**juliet:** so uh

**juliet:** when did u guys move here

**aja:** just before your school year ended! right?

**beammeupdarci:** yea they were movin in during finals week

**beammeupdarci:** with their grandfather

**maryyyyy:** cool

**shanlonghan:** so u don’t really know anyone else in arcadia oaks

**aja:** not really!

**maryyyyy:** ooh we should all get together n hang out sometime

**keepitcrispy:** how many ppl are in this chat

**furzalski:** nine

**keepitcrispy:** holy shit

**krel:** i thought you were muting the chat

**keepitcrispy:** i’m takin a break

**furzalski:** ah ur yoga teacher goin easy on u for once

**keepitcrispy:** my wha

**keepitcrispy:** oh yea

**maryyyyy:** i didn’t know u did yoga

**juliet:** yea me neither babe

**maryyyyy:** where do you go for ur classes

**keepitcrispy:** uh

**keepitcrispy:** the gym

**maryyyyy:** which one

**keepitcrispy:** so how do u guys like arcadia oaks so far?

**aja:** it’s quite lively!

**krel:** i guess it’s nice

**aja:** we haven’t had much time to do things!

**krel:** we’ve been busy unpacking

**cheddarjohn:** so u guys haven’t gotten to see much of arcadia oaks

**aja:** we went out yesterday to get groceries and that was fun! 

**krel:** your grocery stores here are confusing

**aja:** he got lost in the freezer section!

**krel:** those aisles look very similar

**aja:** whatever you say, little brother!

**furzalski:** oh that vons near the movie theatre? can’t blame ya

**beammeupdarci:** you got lost in the freezer section too?

**furzalski:** it was late and i was tired

**keepitcrispy:** i got a call while i was looking for some special butter for a recipe n he was crying

**furzalski:** why would u expose me like this

**keepitcrispy:** it’s my job

**beammeupdarci:** tp i love u but what the fuck

**furzalski:** it was finals week and i had stayed up studying the night before

**beammeupdarci:** that’s fair

**beammeupdarci:** one night i pulled an all-nighter n at school the next morning ms. janeth asked me a question n apparently i answered with ‘who gives a fuck’ and then fell asleep on my desk

**maryyyyy:** that was the best day in that class

**aja:** what is an ‘all-nighter’?

**beammeupdarci:** like when u stay up all night studying or working on smth

**krel:** huh

**krel:** interesting

**shanlonghan:** tis the burden of bein a highschool student in america

**maryyyyy:** so do u guys have like. Instagram

**aja:** no, we do not!

**krel:** why

**krel:** do we need one

**maryyyyy:** i mean you don’t really need one but

**maryyyyy:** you kinda do

**krel:** you are confusing

**maryyyyy:** thx

**cheddarjohn:** so do u guys believe in aliens

**aja:** aliens? that’s ridiculous!

**krel:** why do you ask

**cheddarjohn:** just wondering

**beammeupdarci:** eli don’t be rude

**cheddarjohn:** sorry

**aja:** our grandfather is calling us! we must leave!

**aja:** we can ‘hang out’ another day!

**krel:** or maybe not

**aja:** goodbye!

**krel:** bye

 

**aja** has left the group

 

**krel** has left the group

 

**cheddarjohn:** i was just asking a question????

 

**keepitcrispy** created the group  **?????**

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **furzalski** to the group

 

**keepitcrispy:** WHY DID U SAY YOGA TEACHER

**furzalski:** I PANICKED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet! aLiens! yea. i kinda hinted in ch 24 that darci also had some secret shit bc i wanted her to be involved in 3below but like. who knows. but we met aja n krel so obviously i had the chance of a lifetime n i used it. 
> 
> if u enjoyed this chapter, leave a comment or maybe a kudo if u haven't already. next chapter - someone celebrates a birthday! (hehehe)


	37. happy birthday bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's someone's birthday...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i kinda have a headcanon that toby's birthday was in the summer n then i realized holy shit alli. ur fic is set in the summer. what the fuck? so here u go!
> 
> this and the next two chapters all take place on the same day, so if u think it's kinda short, don't worry. ;) enjoy!

**keepitcrispy** changed the group name to **birthday fuckers**

 

**keepitcrispy:** toby get ur ass in the chat

**juliet:** HAPPY BIRTDHAY

**furzalski:** oh my gosh jim

**potterybitch:** ah yes, happy anniversary of your birth.

**keepitcrispy:** was that fuckin necessary nomura

**potterybitch:** always, little gynt. 

**blinknwink:** Happy birthday, Tobias!

**cheddarjohn:** wait fuck its ur birthday

**keepitcrispy:** eli plz

**cheddarjohn:** hey

**cheddarjohn:** happy birthday u furry

**furzalski:** thx

**furzalski:** at least my ankle isn’t hurting anymore which is kinda weird since it’s been like. less than a week

**cheddarjohn:** well apparently a minor ankle sprain heals in 5 to 18 days

**furzalski:** huh the more u know

**juliet:** [birthday surprise.jpg]

**cheddarjohn:** oissisojgjig

**furzalski:** THESE FUCKING BAStArds

**furzalski:** JUST SHADOWPORTALED INTO My FUCKIN ROOM

**springflingking:** why does it look like jim about to yeet that cake

**keepitcrispy:** i spent two hours on this cake go fuck urself

**springflingking:** damn ok

**furzalski:** [fine ass cake.jpg]

**cheddarjohn:** what the FUCK jim

**juliet:** i helped him decorate it

**cheddarjohn:** jlaire is the cake duo we need as a reality show

**keepitcrispy:** jlaire?

**furzalski:** oh yea we had a talk abt ur ship name while u guys were offline

**juliet:** betrayal

**potterybitch:** what the fuck? that’s the best cake i’ve seen in my life. 

**juliet:** you’ve been alive for two hundred years i’m touched

**juliet:** i just spent like. two days on pinterest

**keepitcrispy:** i bake n she decorates

**juliet:** btw it was definitely closer to three hours

**cheddarjohn:** so toby u got any plans

**furzalski:** well me n darci are gonna go out to the movies today

**furzalski:** we’re gonna go see the new danger house movie then hang out for the rest of the afternoon

**cheddarjohn:** u gonna do anything with ur grandma?

**furzalski:** i think some of my cousins are coming over for dinner but that’s it? 

**furzalski:** usually my family is pretty lax with my birthday but they’re coming all the way from new jersey so that’s significant i guess

**blinknwink:** Huh. I’ve heard rumors of a Heartstone in New Jersey.

**keepitcrispy:** so toby could be part troll

**furzalski:** it has been. so long. jimothy plz

**keepitcrispy:** so what

**furzalski:** I AM NOT PART TROLL

**furzalski:** n like if any part of me was troll it would be quagawump not some mysterious new jersey troll don’t be an idiot

**keepitcrispy:** you have any family in florida?

**furzalski:** jIMOTHY 

**keepitcrispy:** i’m just makin sure

**furzalski:** anyways i’m supposed to meet her at noon so

**furzalski:** get out of my house n let me go shower

**keepitcrispy:** that’s fair

**cheddarjohn:** have u just been hanging out in his house for like. an hour

**furzalski:** yes they have

**keepitcrispy:** it was twenty minutes

**keepitcrispy:** claire was talkin to ur nana

**juliet:** she’s very nice

**juliet:** she offered me a pie to take home to my mother

**furzalski:** that’s nana for u

**furzalski:** she asked if i wanted to invite ‘arthur-san’ to my bday dinner n i had to tell her that he couldn’t join us

**furzalski:** she took it fairly well

**springflingking:** who the fuck is ‘arthur-san’

**furzalski:** ok so argh! lived with me for a while

**keepitcrispy:** still stays over on occasion

**furzalski:** yea

**furzalski:** my grandma found out n i told her that he was a japanese foreign exchange student

**springflingking:** oh my god

**furzalski:** so yea. argh! is also arthur-san

**cheddarjohn:** that’s hilarious

**furzalski:** anyways i’ll talk to y’all later

**keepitcrispy:** don’t die

**furzalski:** i’ll try not to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo if u liked leave a comment or maybe a kudo! next chapter we got a special guest no one was expecting! who? you'll see ;)


	38. special guest star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone we've all been waiting for makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yEET yea u already know who it is ;)
> 
> anyways go read already

**keepitcrispy:** and that’s how i figured out how to flip off someone with only four fingers

**potterybitch:** thrilling.

**juliet:** What is this?

**keepitcrispy:** what

**juliet:** Oh. It’s that stupid group chat.

**keepitcrispy:** that’s fair

**keepitcrispy:** wait

**juliet:** You’re Merlin’s little champion, aren’t you? 

**keepitcrispy:** claire?

**juliet:** Claire’s not here. Call back in the morning, dear.

**potterybitch:** morgana.

**juliet:** That is just one of my names, but yes. 

 

**juliet** changed their name to  **manynames**

 

**manynames:** Nomura, isn’t it? One of my changelings. How could I forget?

**manynames:** Why are you working with them, anyways?

**potterybitch:** they’re not the worst.

**keepitcrispy:** thanks

**manynames:** Shut up. 

**potterybitch:** hey.

**potterybitch:** why are you here? don’t you have more important things to do?

**keepitcrispy:** are u posessing claire?

**manynames:** Questions, questions! You sure are a curious bunch.

**manynames:** Where are your other friends?

**potterybitch:** answer the damn question.

**manynames:** Yes, I am, technically, possessing Claire. She agreed to lend me her body at night if I didn’t hurt any of you. A fair agreement, I suppose.

**keepitcrispy:** did she actually agree

**keepitcrispy:** or was she under ur control

**manynames:** No, it was fair as could be. 

**manynames:** Well, maybe there was a bit of threatening involved. 

**manynames:** Right now, I have more important priorities. I can deal with you later, Trollhunter.

**potterybitch:** more important priorities?

**manynames:** I know a little something about keeping my plans under wraps. As do you, Nomura. 

**manynames:** Your dear Claire would be a little distraught if I left this chat or anything like that, but your notifications were bugging me.

**manynames:** I guess I’ll stick to putting it on mute. Modern tech is so amazing. 

**manynames:** Goodbye for now.

**furzalski:** well this is a weird birthday

**furzalski:** i go to have dinner n claire gets possessed by morganana

**keepitcrispy:** morganana

**furzalski:** morgananana

**keepitcrispy:** morganananana

**potterybitch:** focus.

**keepitcrispy:** right

**furzalski:** yea

**furzalski:** so now she’s possessing claire?

**keepitcrispy:** only at night

**keepitcrispy:** but she can’t hurt us

**potterybitch:** or so she says

**cheddarjohn:** ok im sorta out of tocu hbut who is morgana

**potterybitch:** evil ancient sorceress who is currently possessing claire.

**cheddarjohn:** shes possessing claire??

**keepitcrispy:** only at night

**keepitcrispy:** if she doesn’t hurt any of us

**furzalski:** the way she put it that was definitely a threat like

**furzalski:** ‘lemme possess u or i’ll kill ur friends’

**keepitcrispy:** definitely

**cheddarjohn:** so is there a way to like

**cheddarjohn:** get her out

**potterybitch:** i wish i knew.

**potterybitch:** stricklander is more of the magic type. 

**keepitcrispy:** then ask him

**keepitcrispy:** i’m not gonna let my gf be possessed by some ancient sorceress

**potterybitch:** i’ll see what i can do.

**potterybitch:** stricklander wants to keep morgana away as much as we do, after all.

**furzalski:** let’s do it then

**potterybitch:** i’ll text him right now.

 

**potterybitch** created  **wake the fuck up**

 

**potterybitch** added  **waltstrickler** to the group

 

**waltstrickler:** Nomura, it is 3 AM. What is so urgent?

**potterybitch:** get your black magic guy. it’s morgana.

**waltstrickler:** Really? Are you kidding me?

**potterybitch:** do you think i would willing contact you to joke with you at 3 in the fucking morning, stricklander?

**potterybitch:** that’s why i am in the group chat with the trollhunter.

**waltstrickler:** I’m assuming this has something to do with Claire Nunez. 

**potterybitch:** no, tobias got possessed. have some sense.

**waltstrickler:** To be fair, it is 3 in the morning.

**potterybitch:** whatever. just call up javyn or whatever his name is.

**waltstrickler:** I’ll call him when it’s not too early for anyone to function.   
**potterybitch:** fair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo YO! who's javyn? do y'all think morgana is bein truthful? hm. you'll have to wait n see :P
> 
> if u like, leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u haven't yet. next chapter well,,,,,, you'll see


	39. zoo wee mama!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby gets a birthday surprise that he never asked for... like, ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: this is a serious chapter u should give it a good name  
> me @ me: ,,,,,,diary of a wimpy kid
> 
> anyways,,,,, y'all.

**manynames** created the group  **untitled**

 

**manynames** added  **furzalski** to the group

 

**manynames:** Hello, Tobias. 

**furzalski:** morgana???

**manynames:** I think it’s time we had a little talk. 

**furzalski:** i would prefer not to

**manynames:** Funny. You think you have a choice. 

**manynames:** What do you know about your parents?

**furzalski:** that’s a strange question but uh

**furzalski:** they died when i was 2

**manynames:** What do you remember about them?

**furzalski:** i was 2?????? what am i supposed to remember abt them?????????

**manynames:** I guess I can’t blame you, then. 

**furzalski:** for what

**manynames:** For not remembering that I’m your mother.

**furzalski:** uh

**furzalski:** what

**manynames:** I said, I’m your mother.

**furzalski:** yea i saw what u wrote i’m just

**furzalski:** ???????

**manynames:** I guess I should start from the beginning then.

**furzalski:** ok plz do bc i am very confused

**manynames:** Before you were born, there was a young woman. She wanted to learn magic - a hard thing to do these days.

**manynames:** She had meet a wizard who offered to teach her, but before she could fully learn the trade - well, let’s say he met an unfortunate end.

**manynames:** Desperate to continue to learn, she embarked on a dangerous trip.

**manynames:** Have you ever heard of  _ fata morgana _ ?

**furzalski:** kinda??

**manynames:** It’s a type of mirage, where people see islands that aren’t really there.

**manynames:** Just like  _ fata morgana _ , there is a place where people can find me, although I am not really there.

**manynames:** She went there, seeking my advice. I offered her a deal - if she let me possess her, she could learn more than she could ever imagine.

**manynames:** Of course, she took the deal. Humans are always like that - they want power.

**furzalski:** wait

**furzalski:** are you not human?

**manynames:** Not entirely. Only half human, my mother was a fairy

**manynames:** Can I continue my story?

**furzalski:** yea but does that make me a quarter fairy

**manynames:** Technically, yes.

**furzalski:** huh

**manynames:** As I was saying, I possessed her body and came to Arcadia Oaks. 

**manynames:** Of course, I had business here to attend to. 

**furzalski:** what kind of business

**manynames:** You’ll see soon enough, tobias.

**manynames:** I met a man. Your father. You look a lot like him, but you have my eyes, and you’re certainly shorter.

**manynames:** We fell in love. I was a bit of a fool to come back and spend my time on romance, yes, but it turned out alright. 

**manynames:** I had you and we were happy. 

**furzalski:** what about the storm

**manynames:** Yes, the storm.

**manynames:** We were lost at sea. He was only mortal, no matter who his parents were. 

**manynames:** He died and I washed up ashore alone, and I abandoned my vessel in a small city in New Jersey. 

**furzalski:** that’s where my dad’s side of the family lives

**furzalski:** why didn’t i know she was alive

**manynames:** She doesn’t remember much from when i possessed her. She doesn’t even know she has a son. I check up on her time to time, just to see how she’s doing.

**manynames:** She got what she wanted, though. Her magic. 

**furzalski:** did my father ever know

**manynames:** I told him at sea. He already knew I wasn’t entirely human - neither of us were, mind you - but he did not know who I truly was. To him, I was simply Morgan Frank-Domzalski, his wife of four years.

**furzalski:** what was he like

**manynames:** He was a good man. 

**manynames:** I did love him, just so you know. I have lied about a number of things in my lifetime, but my love for him was true.

**furzalski:** why are you telling me this

**manynames:** I want you to know where you come from.

**manynames:** Did you ever wonder why I had angor rot take you that night?

**furzalski:** i assumed it was because he had a personal vendetta against me?

**manynames:** He did it because I wanted you on our side.

**manynames:** You’re more powerful than you realize.

**manynames:** Fairy, troll, and human blood. You have potential, Tobias.

**furzalski:** troll blood?

**manynames:** Your friends were onto something with their joking. Your grandfather was a troll. I met him myself.

**furzalski:** wait what

**manynames:** He didn’t approve of me dating your father. He saw right through me.

**manynames:** But that’s beside the point. 

**furzalski:** that is not beside the point what??????

**manynames:** Your father was half-troll. Is that enough for you?

**furzalski:** i mean i guess

**furzalski:** like, changeling or just. troll

**manynames:** He was not half-changeling. That would be like dating my grandson. 

**manynames:** Great, now I’m off-track.

**manynames:** My point is, I do not want to be your enemy, Tobias. I want to be your mother. Don’t you want to be with your mother again?

**furzalski:** my mother is dead

**manynames:** I am very much alive, Tobias.

**furzalski:** not for long

**furzalski:** get the fuck out of my friend and leave me alone

**manynames:** If that’s really how you feel, then I shall.

**manynames:** But don’t forget what I said. You’re more powerful than you realize.

**manynames:** Happy birthday, Tobias.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey inco, are you happy now?? i'm actually super happy abt this chapter given that i kinda like,,,, rerouted a lot of the fic i had already written to include it. shout out to im-the-king-of-the-ocean on tumblr for giving me a lot of inspo with their troll grandpa au! seriously, y'all. 
> 
> if u liked it, leave a comment n maybe a kudo! next chapter, claire tells her side of the story.


	40. google search how to get an evil sorceress out of my body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire tells her side of the story, while Nomura confides in a fellow changeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ye et this chapter introduces another unofficial changeling oc b/c. i love those random changelings with occasional importance. realistic. 
> 
> yea enJoy!

**manynames:** why is my name cha

**manynames:** wait

**keepitcrispy:** morgana

**manynames:** DAMNIT

**keepitcrispy:** what

**manynames:** THAT FUCKING BITCH POSSESSED ME

**potterybitch:** strong language.

**keepitcrispy:** then she lied

**keepitcrispy:** she said that u agreed to let her possess u at night if she didn’t hurt us

**manynames:** bullshit

**manynames:** i was washing my face and i blacked out until like. five minutes ago

**potterybitch:** hm.

**manynames:** what’s that  _ hm _ about

**potterybitch:** do you think that it’s possible that she was lying about only possessing you at night as well?

**manynames:** to be able to catch us off guard?

**potterybitch:** exactly.

**potterybitch:** stricklander is calling his black magic guy right now.

**manynames:** strickler has a black magic guy?

**keepitcrispy:** is there a way to uh. not use black magic

**potterybitch:** if there is, javyn could most likely tell us.

**blinknwink:** If I could assess my library, I could see if there is any safer methods.

**keepitcrispy:** so y’all wanna sneak back into trollmarket?

**furzalski:** last time i was in trollmarket it was bc i was literally kidnapped so

**furzalski:** let’s fuckin do it

**potterybitch:** we are not storming trollmarket again until stricklander tells me what javyn told him.

**manynames:** i could use my staff

**potterybitch:** that staff is connected to morgana. that seems like a bad idea until morgana has no control over you.

**manynames:** well shit

**blinknwink:** Well, it seems we must just have patience.

**manynames:** you’re not the one possessed here

**manynames:** i knew i had ‘fighting an evil troll king’ on my agenda this summer but not ‘possessed by an evil sorceress’

**manynames:** i swear to god if i don’t die i’m making that my senior quote

**potterybitch:** stricklander said that javyn is going to contact me directly.

**blinknwink:** Is that good or bad?

**potterybitch:** i cannot say.

**manynames:** great

**cheddarjohn:** so we still don’t know what to do abt morgana

**manynames:** nope

**keepitcrispy:** do u want to change ur name back

**manynames:** oh yea hold on

 

**manynames** changed their name to  **fuckoffmorgana**

 

**fuckoffmorgana:** ok i’m good now

**furzalski:** insoggos

**furzalski:** petty

**fuckoffmorgana:** but am i wrong

**furzalski:** i mean not really

**potterybitch:** javyn has finally called.

**keepitcrispy:** what did he say

**potterybitch:** he said there is a… somewhat safe way.

**potterybitch:** put in  _ the exorcism _ …. because we’re staging one tonight.

**fuckoffmorgana:** i feel like this will be painful

**potterybitch:** don’t worry. we have an expert.

**springflingking:** what the fuck is going on

**potterybitch:** we’re exorcising an ancient evil sorceress from claire tonight.

**springflingking:** well shit sign me up

**keepitcrispy:** wait who’s ur expert

**potterybitch:** you already know him.

**fuckoffmorgana:** IS MY HISTORY TEACHER GONNA EXPEL A FUCKING SORCERESS FROM MY BODY TONIGHT

**furzalski:** out of context that is the funniest thing i’ve ever read but at the same time

**furzalski:** what the fuck

**potterybitch:** i’m joking. it’s not stricklander.

**potterybitch:** but he will be helping out.

**potterybitch:** no, javyn is driving down from up north.

**fuckoffmorgana:** thank god

 

**javynthemanvyn** created the group  **exorcism**

 

**javynthemanvyn** added  **potterybitch** to the group

 

**javynthemanvyn:** that is a truly stupid username.

**potterybitch:** well, look who’s talking.

**javynthemanvyn:** i can’t argue with that.

**javynthemanvyn:** i’m halfway there. i stopped in bakersfield for gas.

**potterybitch:** you’re fast.

**javynthemanvyn:** well, i couldn’t miss my chance to exorcise the pale lady out of an innocent girl, could i?

**potterybitch:** you better do a good job.

**javynthemanvyn:** oh, does the great nomura have a soft spot?

**potterybitch:** shut up. you have kids, you would have a soft spot for them.

**javynthemanvyn:** i have one and she’s three. of course i do.

**javynthemanvyn:** besides, they’re barely yours. 

**potterybitch:** they’re like annoying nephews and nieces. i don’t care about them as if they were my own, but i want to protect them.

**potterybitch:** i remember when my familar’s sister had children and i would watch them with compassion. it was the only time i felt even remotely human back then.

**javynthemanvyn:** i enjoyed the emotional backstory, but i’m going to get back on the road.

**potterybitch:** right.

**javynthemanvyn:** i’ll exorcise your niece tonight. be ready. 

**javynthemanvyn:** [prep list.jpg]

**javynthemanvyn:** here’s what you need to get.

**potterybitch:** okay.

**potterybitch:** i’ll send people up to pick up supplies.

**javynthemanvyn:** oh, and speaking of stricklander, can you do me one last favor?

**potterybitch:** sure.

**javynthemanvyn:** tell him that i’m looking forward to spending the night together. ;)

**potterybitch:** sext him yourself, jesus christ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why r javyn n strickler fucking? idk, man. i don't have good ideas. (i realized i mentioned javyn having a daughter so i'd like to clarify that he's just a single dad. hopefully his daughter is like chillin with one of his friends bc an exorcism isn't what anyone has in mind for bring-ur-daughter-to-work day)
> 
> anyyyways if u liked this chapter, leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u haven't already! next chapter - an exorcism (hopefully) is performed!


	41. exorcism time, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it sounds like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

**potterybitch:** did you guys get the supplies i asked for?

**springflingking:** we got the salt and the crystals

**cheddarjohn:** we also got tacos

**potterybitch:** good. 

**blinknwink:** I have my horngazel to trap her.

**potterybitch:** very good.

**fuckoffmorgana:** toby and jim are waiting until she takes over

**fuckoffmorgana:** they’re going to bound me in a minute which is sure to be fun

**springflingking:** kinky

**fuckoffmorgana:** go fuck urself

**cheddarjohn:** that’s fair

**potterybitch:** you guys ready?

**keepitcrispy:** since first call

 

**keepitcrispy** changed the group name to  **ding dong the witch is gone**

 

**potterybitch** added  **javynthemanvyn** to the group

 

**javynthemanvyn:** how’s she doing?

**keepitcrispy:** she’s snoring in my lap

**furzalski:** can’t imagine that’s comfortable

**keepitcrispy:** it’s not my fault i have skinny ass legs

**furzalski:** fair

**springflingking:** how did it go?

**javynthemanvyn:** it went well.

**javynthemanvyn:** i’m sorry that none of you got to see how it went. it was interesting to say the least.

**cheddarjohn:** can you give us a rundown at least

**javynthemanvyn:** morgana wakes up in dear claire’s body. she’s bound and trapped. she tries to fight against her bonds.

**javynthemanvyn:** strickler starts to chant while i keep her contained until the ritual is down. suddenly, the lights go dark.

**javynthemanvyn:** when they turn back on, morgana is attacking strickler. she’s free of her bonds.

**javynthemanvyn:** james rushes in with his sword because he hears the ruckus. i try to get him to leave, but he is stubborn.

**keepitcrispy:** i wasn’t letting my girlfriend get hurt

**furzalski:** girlfriend huh

**keepitcrispy:** shhhhh

**javynthemanvyn:** james’ unexpected entrance gave me enough time to pull morgana away. while james stands between her and strickler, i cast a simple binding rune that seems to hold for the rest of the ritual. 

**javynthemanvyn:** strickler finishes and we think it hasn’t working because she’s still struggling. but her eyes go back to brown and she nearly falls onto james’ sword.

**keepitcrispy:** that’s not what happened

**javynthemanvyn:** sure it wasn’t.

**keepitcrispy:** she stayed awake for a few minutes before mumbling that she was tired and falling asleep on me

**keepitcrispy:** while i was standing

**keepitcrispy:** with my armor still on

**javynthemanvyn:** now that was funny.

**potterybitch:** don’t you have a one-night stand to get to?

**javynthemanvyn:** hm. hm.

**javynthemanvyn:** this is my cue to leave, isn’t it?

**potterybitch:** just go fuck stricklander and leave us alone for now.

**cheddarjohn:** skbgsiugoigjs???

**javynthemanvyn:** as you wish.

 

**javynthemanvyn** has left the group

 

**keepitcrispy:** i have questions but i don’t think i want the answers to them

**potterybitch:** good. 

**keepitcrispy:** are there any tacos left

**potterybitch:** there’s a few. 

**keepitcrispy:** nice

**springflingking:** wait did claire almost fall on ur sword or not

**keepitcrispy:** she was still kinda bound to the chair so she tried to stand up but almost fell on me

**keepitcrispy:** and i had to figure out what to do with my sword so she wouldn’t like. die

**springflingking:** ah that’s the lake we know

**keepitcrispy:** i feel like i should take offense to that but u could just be trying to give a compliment so??? thx

**springflingking:** eh

**keepitcrispy:** fair

**keepitcrispy:** yo nomura is ok if i just like. sleep at ur house tonight

**potterybitch:** what about your mother?

**keepitcrispy:** i’ll tell her i’m staying the night at tobes

**keepitcrispy:** he’s also asleep

**potterybitch:** so you guys are just going to take up one of my guest rooms tonight?

**keepitcrispy:** yes?

**potterybitch:** fine

**springflingking:** well we’re gonna head out in a sec bc i would rather not face death by mrs. and mrs. pepperjack

**keepitcrispy:** fair

 

**potterybitch** created the group  **hm?**

 

**potterybitch** added  **waltstrickler** to the group

 

**potterybitch:** having fun with javyn?

**waltstrickler:** I don’t mock you for your life choices, don’t mock me for mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoo well bYE morgana (for now :P)
> 
> if u enjoyed this chapter, plz leave a comment n a kudo if u haven’t already! next chapter, the parents of our trollhunters have a lil discussion


	42. parents interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things ain’t adding up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways,,,,, it’s almost 1 AM so i am just posting this abt,,,, five hours earlier than usual

**barbaralake** created the group  **anyone know what’s going on?**

 

**barbaralake** added  **margaretdomzalski** ,  **javiernunez** , and  **councilwomannunez** to the group

 

**barbaralake:** Is it just me or is something weird happening with our kids?

**councilwomannunez:** What do you mean by that?

**barbaralake:** It just seems that the last few weeks Jim has been acting weirdly and I was wondering if it was just him.

**councilwomannunez:** Well… Claire has been staying out later than normal.

**councilwomannunez:** She was supposed to be staying with Darci last night, but when I called her parents, they said that they hadn’t seen Claire at all.

**barbaralake:** Margaret, is Jim at your house?

**margaretdomzalski:** I can’t say that he is. 

**margaretdomzalski:** Neither is Toby.

**barbaralake:** Where could they be?

**councilwomannunez:** I don’t know.

**councilwomannunez:** We never had this problem with Claire until your son started spending time with her.

**barbaralake:** So you’re saying this is Jim’s fault?

**margaretdomzalski:** Let’s not fight.

**margaretdomzalski:** We don’t even know what’s going on with them.

**javiernunez:** i’ll tell you what it is - drugs.

**councilwomannunez:** Javier, I doubt our daughter is on drugs.

**javiernunez:** but that doesn’t mean her friends can’t be.

**javiernunez:** i never trusted that jim boy.

**barbaralake:** That’s my son you’re talking about.

**javiernunez:** did he tell you about the time he babysat enrique while claire went to a concert and destroyed our house?

**barbaralake:** I never knew he did that.

**javiernunez:** maybe there’s more to your son than you know.

**barbaralake:** I think I might know what they’re doing but it’s weirder than you might think.

**councilwomannunez:** It’s okay, Barbara, we won’t judge.

**barbaralake:** About a week ago, I started having weird dreams.

**barbaralake:** There were trolls and Jim was in in glowing armor?

**margaretdomzalski:** Trolls?

**barbaralake:** The weirdest thing was that it all felt so… real.

**councilwomannunez:** What do you mean, it felt so real?

**barbaralake:** It was like I’d lived through it.

**barbaralake:** Remember that car accident I’d gotten into a few months ago?

**councilwomannunez:** What car accident?

**councilwomannunez:** Barbara, are you alright?

**barbaralake:** I think I need to talk to Jim when he gets home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet! if u enjoyed leave a comment n maybe a kudo! next chapter, claire recovers from her exorcism


	43. morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang wakes up at Nomura’s after the exorcism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> claire this entire chapter? valid

**fuckoffmorgana:** ugh i feel like i’m dying is this what a hangover feels like

**cheddarjohn:** good morning

**fuckoffmorgana:** i’m dead eli

**cheddarjohn:** hey we got morgana out of u so? not yet

**fuckoffmorgana:** let me die plz

**cheddarjohn:** no

**cheddarjohn:** anyone else awake yet?

**fuckoffmorgana:** i stumbled downstairs in a half asleep state n the only one awake is this one changeling who offered to make me a bloody mary bc he thought i had a hangover

**cheddarjohn:** did u take him up on his offer

**fuckoffmorgana:** [this isn’t even tasty what the fuck.jpg] 

**fuckoffmorgana:** take a guess

**cheddarjohn:** is it good

**fuckoffmorgana:** not really

**fuckoffmorgana:** he’s also making french toast bc apparently they have a system of who makes breakfast n dinner n shit????

**fuckoffmorgana:** i didn’t even know that many changelings lived here??

**cheddarjohn:** yea,,,,,,

**fuckoffmorgana:** nomura just came down, took one look at me drinkin a bloody mary, and went back upstairs

**fuckoffmorgana:** i think she’s done with this shit

**potterybitch:** you’re the one drinking a cocktail within twenty-four hours of getting an exorcism in my kitchen.

**fuckoffmorgana:** fair

**potterybitch:** i see you’ve met phil, aka the muffin thief.

**fuckoffmorgana:** but he’s so nice??????

**fuckoffmorgana:** even if he thought i had a hangover despite being 16

**potterybitch:** that’s phil for you. 

**potterybitch:** i can hear jim and toby snoring down the hall. how did you sleep with that noise?

**fuckoffmorgana:** nah i had to sleep thru enrique crying when he was a newborn this was nothing

**potterybitch:** that’s fair.

**potterybitch:** i’ll be down in a second. what’s for breakfast?

**fuckoffmorgana:** french toast

**potterybitch:** ooh. my favorite. 

**potterybitch:** save me some strawberries.

**fuckoffmorgana:** just to spite you, i will now eat all the strawberries

**potterybitch:** how dare you?

**fuckoffmorgana:** [mine now.jpg]

**potterybitch:** claire, please.

**fuckoffmorgana:** no

**potterybitch:** i have my swords up here.

**fuckoffmorgana:** fine i’ll save u a few

**cheddarjohn:** can i come over and join in if i bring over strawberries

**cheddarjohn:** my mom picked some up from the farmer’s market yesterday

**potterybitch:** sure. why not?

**keepitcrispy:** WHY DID NO ONE tELL ME I WENT INTO MY TROLL FORM WHEN I FELLL ALSEEP

**potterybitch:** that explains the snoring.

**fuckoffmorgana:** i am. barely awake babe i think i just didn’t notice

**cheddarjohn:** how did u not notice ur boyfriend turned into a half troll while yall were sleeping

**fuckoffmorgana:** read the above text plz

**cheddarjohn:** sTILL

**keepitcrispy:** i have stone for skin wha

**keepitcrispy:** CLAIRE

**fuckoffmorgana:** LET ME LIVE MY LIFE

**furzalski:** why is the chat so pop

**fuckoffmorgana:** toby?

**keepitcrispy:** he saw me n dropped his phone mid text

**potterybitch:** that’s fair.

**furzalski:** i’m fuckin pissed

**furzalski:** in the pictures i couldn’t tell how tall jim’s troll form was but he’s towering over me n as a short person, i’m personally offended

**fuckoffmorgana:** would a bloody mary calm u in this trying time

**furzalski:** it is 9 am n we’re sixteen

**fuckoffmorgana:** still

**furzalski:** are you drinking a bloody mary

**fuckoffmorgana:** maybe

**fuckoffmorgana:** pretty sure there’s no actual alcohol in it tho if that reassures u

**furzalski:** fair

**keepitcrispy:** guys i think i’m stuck

**potterybitch:** damn it. 

**cheddarjohn:** im here with the strawberries

**potterybitch:** claire, let him in. i’m going to need those strawberries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u enjoyed this chapter, leave a comment n a kudo if u haven’t already! next chapter, brunch happens... with a side of chaos, i guess.


	44. body, mind, and troll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang tries to enjoy a leisurely brunch... with some complications, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man 3below is comin out in october n so is legends of tomorrow,,,,,, if y'all are subscribed to me/follow me on tumblr i apologize in advance for the tons of content that will be comin ur way from both shows
> 
> anyways plz enjoy this chapter

**keepitcrispy:** i. crave death

**potterybitch:** at least come down for breakfast.

**keepitcrispy:** hm

**keepitcrispy:** i would but my clothes are ripped

**potterybitch:** is that your only reason?

**keepitcrispy:** ehhhhhhh

**fuckoffmorgana:** but french toast?

**keepitcrispy:** nomura do u have any clothes i can borrow

**potterybitch:** look in the attic.

**keepitcrispy:** really? i have to go up into the attic?

**potterybitch:** or there should be boxes of old clothes in the closet.

**keepitcrispy:** okay

**fuckoffmorgana:** we’ll save u some french toast

**cheddarjohn:** im squished between two buff changelings on the couch help

**furzalski:** rip eli

**cheddarjohn:** i’m only in the couch cushions guys

**furzalski:** we’re eating outside in the grass

**potterybitch:** like heathens.

**furzalski:** but it’s nice out

**fuckoffmorgana:** i can get my tan

**keepitcrispy:** changelings can be out in the sun with their troll form

**potterybitch:** yes, we can. at least, for a little while.

**keepitcrispy:** _ nice _

**cheddarjohn:** out of the corner of my eye i just saw a fuckin blue figure run past was that jimothy fucking lake

**keepitcrispy:** cryptid spotted

**cheddarjohn:** youre the fucking cryptid

**keepitcrispy:** yes

**cheddarjohn:** jim lake is a cryptid confirmed

**furzalski:** eli join us

**cheddarjohn:** what part of ‘squished between two buff changelings’ did u miss

**potterybitch:** boris and elis are nice. they’ll move if you ask politely.

**springflingking:** wait u guys r having breakfast without me

**cheddarjohn:** you were asleep

**springflingking:** still

**springflingking:** AW MAN I LOVE FRENCH TOAST

**springflingking:** I’M COMING OVER

**potterybitch:** let’s make it a real party.

**potterybitch:** bring something.

**springflingking:** i’ll grab orange juice on my way over

**blinknwink:** Deya’s grace! What is happening this morning?

**keepitcrispy:** i’m stuck as a troll

**fuckoffmorgana:** i enjoyed a bloody mary

**furzalski:** jim is dressed like a weird hippie

**blinknwink:** Wait. What?

**furzalski:** [troll hippie.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** it was the first thing i saw that fit

**furzalski:** but were the sunglasses necessary

**furzalski:** [fucker.jpg]

**furzalski:** so he can flip ppl off with a four fingered hand

**cheddarjohn:** theyre all sitting in different corners of the yard for some reason

**fuckoffmorgana:** well me and jim r sitting together

**cheddarjohn:** thats bc u guys are dating n being cutesy together is what yall do

**fuckoffmorgana:** fair

**blinknwink:** So…. you’re having breakfast?

**cheddarjohn:** a weird breakfast

**springflingking:** [oj simpson.jpg]

**springflingking:** did i grab enough

**potterybitch:** that’s like five gallons of orange juice, palchuk!

**springflingking:** vitamin c is important nomura

**potterybitch:** still.

**springflingking:** too late

**cheddarjohn:** how are u gonna carry 5 gallons of oj on ur vespa

**springflingking:** i’ll figure that out later

**cheddarjohn:** good luck bud

**springflingking:** i’m also grabbing donuts

**fuckoffmorgana:** FUCK I LOVE DONUTS

**potterybitch:** thank you for the update, claire.

**potterybitch:** [are you guys seeing this shit.jpg]

**springflingking:** i figured out how to get it there

**springflingking:** [genius.jpg]

**cheddarjohn:** ARE U STEALING A CART

**springflingking:** I’LL BRING IT BACK

**furzalski:** what the FUCK steve

**springflingking:** YOU GUYS CAN STEAL SENOR UHL’S TRUCK BUT I CAN’T BORROW A CART

**keepitcrispy:** tbf we didn’t steal it

**furzalski:** that was some gnomes

**cheddarjohn:** gnomes????? gnomes stole his fuckin truck?????

**furzalski:** yep

**cheddarjohn:** what the fuck

**blinknwink:** Nomura, are you offering any adult supervision here?

**potterybitch:** sorry, i went in to ask if phil could make me a mimosa.

**potterybitch:** it’s been a long day and it’s not even 11 yet.

**blinknwink:** Nomura!

**potterybitch:** you’re the father here, i’m just the cool aunt.

**blinknwink:** Well, aren’t you helpful?

**potterybitch:** my house, my rules. i do what i want.

**blinknwink:** It’s a wonder you’ve survived the last 200 years.

**potterybitch:** not really. my life is relatively tame when i’m not murdering people.

**blinknwink:** That is fair, I guess. 

**potterybitch:** eli, come get your creepslayer. steve motherfucking palchuk just burst in with a cart full of orange juice and donuts.

**cheddarjohn:** hey its ur house u deal with it

**cheddarjohn:** also why is he my responsibility i didn’t tell him to bring orange juice

**potterybitch:** fair.

**potterybitch:** he also has pineapple juice.

**springflingking:** i won’t let u roast me for my pineapple juice

**fuckoffmorgana:** doesn’t it like. eat ur skin

**springflingking:** that’s a weird way to describe pineapple juice

**potterybitch:** it breaks down protein.

**potterybitch:** google, bitches.

**fuckoffmorgana:** thanks

**furzalski:** if i chug that thing of pineapple juice will i die

**potterybitch:** you’ll die because i’ll kill you.

**furzalski:** ,,,,,,,noted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo! brunch! hippies! steve stealing a shopping cart! fun teen things
> 
> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment n a kudo if u haven't already! next chapter, claire n toby have a much needed discussion while debating if nomura is his sister or not


	45. a whole new family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby and Claire have a conversation that's much needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow yes i finally have toby telling someone..... (lookin at u, inco)
> 
> a wonderful reader drew some fanart based on the last few chapters so y'all should definitely check it out if u haven't already! (https://www.instagram.com/p/BmECZ9vASCC/?taken-by=educationofaking and https://www.instagram.com/p/BmEO94xgj92/?taken-by=educationofaking)
> 
> anyways, enjoy this chapter! :)

**keepitcrispy:** i’m human again lads

**fuckoffmorgana:** aw

**keepitcrispy:** but i think? i’m getting the hang of it

**keepitcrispy:** so how are y’all

**fuckoffmorgana:** tired

**keepitcrispy:** take a nap babe

**fuckoffmorgana:** tbf i took a long ass nap when i got home

**fuckoffmorgana:** my parents are looking at me weirdly bc i’m on my third cup of coffee

**keepitcrispy:** c l a i r e

**fuckoffmorgana:** let me drink my coffee

**furzalski:** let her drink her coffe man

**keepitcrispy:** fine

**potterybitch:** better than a bloody mary.

**fuckoffmorgana:** apparently it was a virgin bloody mary so

**fuckoffmorgana:** yea

**potterybitch:** thank god.

**fuckoffmorgana:** where is everyone

**potterybitch:** we’re cleaning the house today since the museum is closed today. it’s stressful.

**keepitcrispy:** i’m trying not to die while seein if i can switch forms more easily

**furzalski:** steve n eli r seeing a movie today apparently

**furzalski:** n all i’m doing is having an existential crisis

**fuckoffmorgana:** big mood

**furzalski:** true friends have existential crises together

**keepitcrispy:** i would but mine was like. a month ago

**furzalski:** fair

 

**fuckoffmorgana** changed their name to  **shadowdancer**

 

**shadowdancer** created the group  **srs talk**

 

**shadowdancer** added  **furzalski** to the group

 

**furzalski:** why

**shadowdancer:** when i got home i was checkin my phone n i found a chat between u n morgana

**furzalski:** oh

**shadowdancer:** so,,,, your mom?

**furzalski:** yea

**furzalski:** i mean it’s kinda weird but i guess?

**furzalski:** i know smth abt my mom now?

**furzalski:** i only knew what my grandma told me n i never really met anyone from my mom’s side of the family

**shadowdancer:** yea must be nice to know ur mom was an evil sorceress

**furzalski:** morgana said that she was trying to learn magic too

**furzalski:** but u probably already know that huh

**shadowdancer:** i didn’t scroll up too far

**furzalski:** oh

**shadowdancer:** are u gonna tell everyone else

**furzalski:** i mean

**furzalski:** it’s kinda hard to work ‘hey my mom was an evil sorceress n apparently i’m part troll AND part fairy lol’ into casual conversation

**shadowdancer:** it is kinda shockin

**furzalski:** wait that means that my mom possessed u which is sorta weird?

**shadowdancer:** if morgana created changelings is jim ur nephew

**furzalski:** FUCK 

**furzalski:** IS NOMURA MY SISTER

**shadowdancer:** IS STRICKLER YOUR BROTHER

**furzalski:** I’M GSIGIA

**shadowdancer:** god damnit

**furzalski:** can we add nomura dgugohag

**shadowdancer:** that means nomura will know

**furzalski:** i know

**furzalski:** but it’s better than askin her in the gc

**shadowdancer:** true

**shadowdancer:** why not tell jim

**shadowdancer:** or did you already tell him

**furzalski:** with,,,, everything

**furzalski:** never seemed like the right time u know

**shadowdancer:** toby

**furzalski:** what

**shadowdancer:** would u have told us if i didn’t know abt the conversation

**furzalski:** i would have of course but

**furzalski:** i don’t know when

**furzalski:** like, before we beat morgana n gunmar? before all the chaos is over

**furzalski:** or after n be like the last traces of the big boss

**shadowdancer:** do you still want to add nomura

**shadowdancer:** bc then she’ll know

**furzalski:** yea

 

**furzalski** added  **potterybitch** to the group

 

**potterybitch:** i’m busy. can we talk later?

**furzalski:** one question n u can go

**potterybitch:** fine. what is it?

**furzalski:** hypothetically

**furzalski:** if morgana was my mom, would that make us siblings

**potterybitch:** hypothetically?

**potterybitch:** technically, yes. she is the ‘mother’ of all changelings. biologically, no.

**potterybitch:** why do you ask?

**furzalski:** we were having an argument.

**potterybitch:** you added me to settle an argument?

**furzalski:** yes

**potterybitch:** wait a minute. what would i know?

**furzalski:** uh

**shadowdancer:** well

**furzalski:** MORGANA’S MY MOM

**potterybitch:** WHAT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow? nomura using all caps?? that's how u know it's serious
> 
> if u liked this chapter, comment n maybe leave a kudo if u haven't already! next chapter - the beans are spilled, someone lets the cat out the bag, i couldn't decide what metaphor to use. but it is worth reading


	46. you are not the mother!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat is out of the bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i almost uploaded the wrong chapter. wow. what a crazy life

**cheddarjohn:** so then she fucking GETS ATTACKED and steve

**springflingking:** oh my god

**cheddarjohn:** steve yeeted the popcorn

**cheddarjohn:** man the woman in front of us just looked back with fire n her eyes n i was laughing too hard

**springflingking:** i wasn’t expecting it okay

**keepitcrispy:** man that sounds hilariosu

**springflingking:** i thought i was gonna get murdered in a movie theatre that’s like

**potterybitch** changed the group name to  **THIS BITCH**

**springflingking:** the fuckin worst way to go

**springflingking:** what

**keepitcrispy:** you haven’t been online all day  n u just. okay

**furzalski:** thx for bein subtle

**potterybitch:** i don’t care.

**furzalski:** thanks

**potterybitch:** anyways, you said you were going to tell them.

**furzalski:** i did didn’t i

**keepitcrispy:** what are u guys talking abt

**keepitcrispy:** should i be worried

**shadowdancer:** i mean

**keepitcrispy:** DID YOU CURSE MY HOUSE AGAIN

**furzalski:** YOU’VE BEEN HOME YOU WOULD KNOW IF I CURSED YOUR HOUSE

**keepitcrispy:** I GUESS YOU HAVE A POINT THERE

**shadowdancer:** for god’s fucking sakes

**shadowdancer:** morgana is toby’s mom

**furzalski:** ,,,,thank you?

**keepitcrispy:** wait a fuckin sec

**shadowdancer:** you’re welcome

**keepitcrispy:** wha

**cheddarjohn:** exc

**cheddarjohn:** what

**springflingking:** what i think eli is trying to say it

**springflingking:** how in the actual fuck is she your mother what kind of fucking science or magic ass shit she can only possess ppl so was she free n walking around bc if she just possesses ppl she isn’t up n walking around so is it genetically or did she just happen to be possessing your mom at the right time or

**furzalski:** ok

**cheddarjohn:** jesus christ steve

**furzalski:** lots of questions

**springflingking:** yes several

**furzalski:** well she possessed my mom then felll in love with my dad n had me

**springflingking:** ok that makes sense but how did she possess ur mom

**furzalski:** well my mom technically isn’t really my mom bc she doesn’t even know she has a son

**springflingking:** what

**furzalski:** she’s just stumblin around new jersey doin magic while i’m here in arcadia oaks n i thought she was dead for 14 years so. yea

**furzalski:** oh yea she told me on my birthday. so that was fun

**keepitcrispy:** so you haven’t known long

**furzalski:** not really

**keepitcrispy:** huh

**potterybitch:** guess what, little gynt.

**keepitcrispy:** what

**potterybitch:** technically speaking, tobias is your uncle.

**keepitcrispy:** wha

**furzalski:** nomura is kinda my sister

**keepitcrispy:** WHAT THE FUCKL

**shadowdancer:** hey tp can i date ur nephew

**furzalski:** sure

**keepitcrispy:** YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN ME

**furzalski:** :D

**furzalski:** also u were right

**keepitcrispy:** about wha

**furzalski:** troll granddaddy

**keepitcrispy:** _ wait what _

**keepitcrispy:** YOUR GRANDPA REALLY IS A TROLL????

**cheddarjohn:** didnt u come up with that idea while u were sleep deprived n dying of mouth pain????

**keepitcrispy:** yes???????????????????

**furzalski:** life works in mysterious ways

**keepitcrispy:** so how r u doin with. everything

**furzalski:** like i said earlier, kinda having an existential crisis

**furzalski:** uh yea

**keepitcrispy:** i know how you feel

**keepitcrispy:** it’s like your world’s been turned upside down

**keepitcrispy:** and everything you thought you knew is wrong

**furzalski:** exactly

**blinknwink:** I know I’m here late, but you must know that we will be here for you, Tobias.

**blinknwink:** No matter who your mother is, you’ll always be a part of this family. 

**furzalski:** thanks, blinky

**shadowdancer:** wait if ur grandpa is a troll does that mean ur dad was half-troll

**furzalski:** yea

**shadowdancer:** did ur mom possess me bc she too is a monster fucker

**furzalski:** i will come to ur house n fight u ijnsuanpisna

**shadowdancer:** wAS YOUR DAD A TILF

**furzalski:** I CAN’T BELIEVE U WOULD USE MY OWN WORDS AGAINST MEEEEEEEE

**shadowdancer:** revenge

**keepitcrispy:** thank you for ruining this sincere moment with a monster fucker joke

**shadowdancer:** we already had our sentimental moment

**keepitcrispy:** anyways, ignoring this

**keepitcrispy:** we’ve been best friends for, like, ever. i think we know that despite our dad bein changeling or a half troll or ur mom bein an evil sorceress that like. nothing can ruin what we got

**furzalski:** bro,,, 

**keepitcrispy:** we’ll be there for you.

**keepitcrispy:** but is it ok if i kill ur mom

**furzalski:** i’m encouraging it

**keepitcrispy:** thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u enjoy this chapter, leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u haven't gotten a chance to already! since school starts next week this fic will be taking a slight hiatus until october. if you're actually subscribed to me as an author, you'll see that i have things going on in other fandoms too, but don't worry. tylt is always on my mind (even if i'm sorta stuck with ch. 50 as of late). 
> 
> i love you guys, don't forget abt me. i won't forget about you. :)


	47. oreos are gay culture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli yeets someone out a window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all i'm not dead (but nearly am)  
> theatre has been kicking my ass the last two weeks so i am still behind with actually writing chapters but i promised i'd be back in october so here's some content bih  
> i'm going back to my old schedule of posting chapters every friday (though that might be every other friday bc like i said, theatre is kicking my ass. oy vey)  
> so yea, enjoy!

**keepitcrispy:** y’all i’m fucked

**keepitcrispy:** my mom came home saying she needed to talk to me n while i waslike

**keepitcrispy:** in the kitchen polishing my amulet

**shadowdancer:** wait hold on why were you polishing the amulet

**keepitcrispy:** i dropped it in the mud on accident

**furzalski:** how???

**keepitcrispy:** can i finish my story???

**keepitcrispy:** anyways in a panic i just

**keepitcrispy:** toss her the amulet and i don’t know why but my first instinct was to run into the backyard and jump over the fence???

**furzalski:** why????????

**keepitcrispy:** bc i feel like i left her with many questions that i’m afraid to confront

**furzalski:** talk to ur mom jimothy

**keepitcrispy:** fine

**shadowdancer:** wait how did u drop it in the mud

**keepitcrispy:** it fell out of my pocket when i was walking inside after a long day of shifting n i forgot abt until this morning so i had to. clean it

**keepitcrispy:** it’s been a long week

**furzalski:** oh bud u wouldn’t even know the half of it

**cheddarjohn:** my dudes i am abt to throw kyle out a window

**cheddarjohn:** this BITCH ate my entire stash of oreos

**cheddarjohn:** including the package

**potterybitch:** drag him, elijah. 

**cheddarjohn:** like

**cheddarjohn:** what the fuck is UP kyle

**furzalski:** gr8 vine ref

**cheddarjohn:** thx

**cheddarjohn:** anyways im PISSED

**shadowdancer:** throw him out the window

**furzalski:** do it do it do it

**springflingking:** THROW HIM OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW

**cheddarjohn:** you guys are terrible influences

**cheddarjohn:** [there he go.jpg]

**furzalski:** ‘wow u guys are such a bad influence’ THROWS HIM OUT THE WIDDOW ANYWAYS

**cheddarjohn:** [HE HAS FUCKIN G WINGS.jpg]

**shadowdancer:** a story in two parts

**furzalski:** sieuhguhgngaa

**cheddarjohn:** GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

**potterybitch:** stricklander has wings too, it’s not that uncommon.

**cheddarjohn:** do you have wings too

**potterybitch:** i mean, i couldn’t hide them behind my hair, could i?

**potterybitch:** no, i don’t. 

**cheddarjohn:** thats fair

**cheddarjohn:** anyways im gonna chase him down

**potterybitch:** i don’t believe you can catch him.

**cheddarjohn:** not with that attitude

**furzalski:** never underestimate the power of a man who’s oreos have been stolen from him

**potterybitch:** never underestimate a changeling on the run.

**shadowdancer:** who will win

**furzalski:** no one

**potterybitch:** exactly.

**cheddarjohn:** thx guys

**potterybitch:** no problem.

**blinknwink:** Good afternoon!

**shadowdancer:** hey blink

**blinknwink:** It seems like forever since I had more than a minute to myself. What has been happening with all of you?

**cheddarjohn:** my bitch ass changeling roommate ate all my oreos n im planning my revenge

**furzalski:** i’m dying, probably

**shadowdancer:** watching enrique

**potterybitch:** ignoring my boss at work.

**blinknwink:** Wonderful. I have never been prouder.

**furzalski:** are u being sarcastic or are u proud of my death

**blinknwink:** I’m being sarcastic. The only one doing anything good is Claire.

**cheddarjohn:** planning revenge isnt good enough for u?

**blinknwink:** No.

**cheddarjohn:** thats fair

**potterybitch:** to be fair, i am actually on my lunch hour. 

**potterybitch:** i’m just not in the mood for conversation.

**blinknwink:** Yet, you’re still texting us.

**potterybitch:** you guys are more interesting than my boss telling me about how her cat has to go to the vet because it somehow swallowed an entire bottle of ibuprofen.

**shadowdancer:** that seems VERY interesting nomura what the fcuk **  
** **furzalski:** hOW

**potterybitch:** you ask me like i would know.

**blinknwink:** That is quite the predicament. 

**cheddarjohn:** does anyone have a gaggletack i can borrow

**potterybitch:** i don’t own any gaggletacks.

**furzalski:** i’m not letting u borrow mine

**furzalski:** that isn’t gonna help u stop kyle he’ll just fly away again

**blinknwink:** Tobias does have a point. 

**cheddarjohn:** fine

**furzalski:** wAIT HOLD ON

**furzalski:** I THINK I JUST REALIZED SMTH

**potterybitch:** what?

**furzalski:** ok so fairies like can’t touch iron right?

**cheddarjohn:** yea thats how the lore goes

**furzalski:** and morgana is half fairy so i’m a quarter fairy so

**furzalski:** i think i just figured out why i get minor burns when i touch a gaggletack

**cheddarjohn:** what the fuck toby

**furzalski:** I JUST THOUGHT I HAD AN IRON ALLERGY

**cheddarjohn:** WHY WOULD YOU HAVE AN IRON ALLERGY

**furzalski:** I DON’T KNOW ELI GUESS THAT MEANS I CANT FUCKIN HELP U CATCH UR OREO THIEF

**furzalski:** CUZ OF MY GODDAMN  _ IRON ALLERGY _

**cheddarjohn:** WELL SHIT

**shadowdancer:** turn off caps lock n stop yelling u guys

**cheddarjohn:** bold of u to assume i have never not yelled in my life

**blinknwink:** Why are you so upset about a pack of Oreos? 

**blinknwink:** Can you not simply buy more?

**cheddarjohn:** im going to make him buy me more

**cheddarjohn:** i want retribution

**furzalski:** do u guys like. share a room

**cheddarjohn:** no hes been staying in the guest room

**cheddarjohn:** but this lil BITCH came into my room while i was gone n stole my oreos!

**furzalski:** u sure r bitter abt these oreos

**cheddarjohn:** yea

**blinknwink:** You humans never cease to confuse me.

**cheddarjohn:** we confuse even ourselves

**shadowdancer:** senior quote

**shadowdancer:** also look at this picture of enrique vonvdsnds

**shadowdancer:** [angery babe.jpg]

**furzalski:** oh my gosh what happened

**shadowdancer:** i had to put him down for a nap but someone was not in the mood for a nap

**furzalski:** aw

**shadowdancer:** anyways he is now asleep n i’m chillin the living room hopin he stays asleep

**furzalski:** yeet

**keepitcrispy:** uh???? remember how my mom, u know, almost died n to cure her we had to erase all her memories of trolls n shit

**keepitcrispy:** well. uh.

**furzalski:** does she remember trolls?????

**keepitcrispy:** yeS

**furzalski:** n i’m guessing throwing the liTERAL AMULET OF FUCKIN MERLIN at her did not help

**keepitcrispy:** it did not

**furzalski:** did u tell her they were real

**keepitcrispy:** uh. well i kinda. summoned the armor in front of her and???

**furzalski:** and??????

**keepitcrispy:** she reacted surprisingly well

**blinknwink:** Interesting.

**keepitcrispy:** [wow.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** look at all these paintings!

**potterybitch:** well, shit. tell your mom that she has a career for her after she retires.

**furzalski:** that’s all??? trolls?

**blinknwink:** That portrait of me is… interesting, to say the least.

**keepitcrispy:** it’s artistic, blink

**keepitcrispy:** yea but i also think she told ur parents abt trolls

**keepitcrispy:** specifically, toby n claire’s

**furzalski:** sike my nana already knows about trolls because SHE FUCKED ONE

**cheddarjohn:** jignaiuuanuia oh my god

**blinknwink:** There’s one problem solved there.

**shadowdancer:** huh i think my parents would have. u know. confronted me abt it by now

**keepitcrispy:** idk man u could??? see

**shadowdancer:** no

**keepitcrispy:** that’s fair

**keepitcrispy:** still,,,, that’s kinda weird that she remembered but

**blinknwink:** That is an issue for another day.

**blinknwink:** She knows now. We’ll figure out the rest later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes,,,,, i haven't read this chapter in weeks so my summary of this chapter is eli yeets his roommate and barbara finds out abt everything  
> next chapter we got some uh triple date action so look forward to that  
> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment n maybe a kudo if u haven't already! so glad to be back, especially since,,,,,, we have another two fucking months until 3below,,,,,,,, rip my lIFEE


	48. date night interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat bad idea is proposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the throes of show week i am rising from the ashes of opening night to post this,,, help me
> 
> i'm actually typing this in the few minutes b4 call time so yikes
> 
> anyways,,,,, i'm proud of this chapter. thank you

**maryyyyy** created the group  **idea**

 

**maryyyyy** added  **shadowdancer** and  **beammeupdarci** to the group

 

**maryyyyy:** so

**maryyyyy:** i have a fun idea

**shadowdancer:** oh no

**beammeupdarci:** what’s up

**shadowdancer:** the last time u said u had a fun idea i ended up with a blue streak in my hair

**maryyyyy:** you looked gr8 that was an amazing idea

**maryyyyy:** still don’t know why u went to white but that’s not what i’m talking about

**beammeupdarci:** i’m lowkey scared abt what you’re going to say

**maryyyyy:** ,,,,triple date

**shadowdancer:** oh my god

**beammeupdarci:** YES

**shadowdancer:** i mean

**beammeupdarci:** aw cmon claire

**beammeupdarci:** it’ll be fuuun

**shadowdancer:** i’m not opposed to it it’s just that i’m busy n all

**maryyyyy:** please?

**maryyyyy:** the fair is in town please please please

**shadowdancer:** i’ll see?

**beammeupdarci:** nice

**maryyyyy:** it’ll be so fun

**maryyyyy:** maybe we can send the boys off to hang out by themselves n have some fun with the four of us

**shadowdancer:** i guess i’ll tell jim what’s up

 

**shadowdancer** created the group  **triple date?**

 

**shadowdancer** added  **keepitcrispy** to the group

 

**shadowdancer:** u doin anything thursday night?

**keepitcrispy:** i mean

**keepitcrispy:** not really

**shadowdancer:** the girls recommended a triple date cuz the fair’s in town

**shadowdancer:** u interested?

**keepitcrispy:** if you’re game, then i guess i am too

**shadowdancer:** great!

**shadowdancer:** guess i’ll see u then <3

 

**keepitcrispy** created the group  **help**

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **furzalski** to the group

 

**furzalski:** what’s up dude

**keepitcrispy:** i’m dying

**furzalski:** a mood, always, but why

**keepitcrispy:** i have never been a triple date before

**furzalski:** dude yuo’ve never been on a date before at all

**keepitcrispy:** what me n claire have gone on lots of dates!

**furzalski:** did they involve trolls?

**keepitcrispy:** ,,,,,,,kinda

**furzalski:** if it involved trolls, it’s not a date

**keepitcrispy:** that sounds fake but ok

**furzalski:** but don’t u worry

**furzalski:** cuz u know ur bro here is a ladies’ man

**keepitcrispy:** you cry over darci’s eyes being pretty at least once a week

**furzalski:** first off, i am filled with love and adoration for my girlfriend and that is nothing to be ashamed of

**furzalski:** prepare urself for my three rules of love hunting

**keepitcrispy:** i do not trust u or ur rules

**furzalski:** i’m ignoring that

**furzalski:** first rule - make conversation

**furzalski:** compliment what she’s wearing, talk about what rides you’re looking forward to, that kinda stuff

**keepitcrispy:** ok that seems fair

**furzalski:** also - if u speak spanish i will kick u in ur nonexistent gronk-nuks

**keepitcrispy:** but why

**furzalski:** when u get nervous around claire u always go into Spanish Jim Mode™ like,,, bro

**keepitcrispy:** i

**keepitcrispy:** i literally cannot argue with that

**furzalski:** second rule - physical contact

**furzalski:** like holdin her hand n junk while u guys are walking around the fair

**keepitcrispy:** okay

**furzalski:** third rule - never let them go to the bathroom together

**keepitcrispy:** whY

**furzalski:** girls don’t pee jimbo

**furzalski:** they conspire

**keepitcrispy:** r u fuckin srs

**furzalski:** i know what i’m doin jim

**keepitcrispy:** but do u really know tobes

**keepitcrispy:** like ever

**furzalski:** ,,,,fair

 

**maryyyyy** created the group  **baaaaaaaaabe <3**

 

**maryyyyy** added  **shanlonghan**

 

**maryyyyy:** hey babe

**shanlonghan:** yea?

**maryyyyy:** u excited for our date tonight?

**shanlonghan:** of course! 

**maryyyyy:** me too :)

**shanlonghan:** gettin sappy on me bby?

**maryyyyy:** soadniabn of course

**shanlonghan:** see u soon xoxo

**maryyyyy:** see u too xo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tune in next chapter to see how this goes! it's gonna be fun alright. 
> 
> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment n a kudo if u haven't already. lots of love to y'all!


	49. have fun bein single

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice date gets interrupted with some crucial plot information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh boy. it's been a long time, hasn't it?
> 
> i think the last update was days b4 everything got out of hand in my personal life, so i have been too caught up in trying to stay a functioning human being to post chapters. but bc i'm on winter break i have time to finally finish this fic! i'm on chapter 53 in terms of writing, so i will try to post (mostly) everyday until winter break is over and then go back to my 'every friday' schedule
> 
> after tylt is finished, i'm hoping to write a lil 3below chat fic that will hopefully not be as long. so that's smth to look forward to if i can finish this before the senior pressure sets in lol
> 
> i hope u guys enjoy this chapter!!

**potterybitch:** strickler has come to me with bad news.

**potterybitch:** his spy on the inside has told him that gunmar plans to free morgana with the staff of avalon.

**potterybitch:** the staff of avalon is the only thing that can free morgana from the prison merlin placed her in after the battle of killahead.

**keepitcrispy:** fuck

**keepitcrispy:** claire says that she wants to be there when they free her so she can kick her ass right then and there

**keepitcrispy:** she’s eating cotton candy n she doesn’t want sugar all over her phone

**potterybitch:** are you two at the fair?

**keepitcrispy:** we’re on a triple date with toby, darci, mary, n shannon

**keepitcrispy:** toby n darci r on the ferris wheel hopefully not making out

**keepitcrispy:** so that’s why he’s not online

**potterybitch:** you teens have… a very interesting life.

**keepitcrispy:** i mean i’m the fuckin trollhunter so i think i afford a moment of luxury n cotton candy

**keepitcrispy:** claire says u need to stop oppressing the use

**keepitcrispy:** no wait she said the YOUTH

**keepitcrispy:** it’s hard to understand someone with cotton candy in their mouth

**potterybitch:** so… 

**keepitcrispy:** where is this staff of avalon

**potterybitch:** it’s in merlin’s tomb.

**keepitcrispy:** how the fuck are we supposed to find merlin’s tomb???

**potterybitch:** well, apparently they are also taking draal with them.

**keepitcrispy:** draal?

**potterybitch:** they need some muscle, apparently. 

**keepitcrispy:** claire says she can use him as an emotional anchor to get there

**potterybitch:** well, there’s that problem solved.

**blinknwink:** Isn’t Draal still under Gunmar’s control? Will you be able to use him as an anchor if that is the case?

**furzalski:** i swear i’m putting the chat on mute y’all are killin the mood

**furzalski:** i’ll get back to y’all later

**keepitcrispy:** wow u used y’all twice

**furzalski:** can i please just spend time with my gf in peace

**keepitcrispy:** fair

**keepitcrispy:** claire says to use protection

**blinknwink:** Did she happen to answer my question, too?

**potterybitch:** try portalling to trollmarket using draal as an anchor. that’s a great way to test it.

**shadowdancer:** no thanks

**potterybitch:** i guess that’s fair.

**keepitcrispy:** ok 

**shadowdancer:** blink do u know where merlin’s tomb is

**blinknwink:** Yes, I do. But it’s back in Europe. It’s not even accessible by gyre.

**shadowdancer:** so i guess draal is our best bet

**shadowdancer:** time to do smth reckless

**keepitcrispy:** by reckless she means that she just opened a portal n i assume she is wherever draal is rn

**shadowdancer:** YES IT WORKED YEET

**shadowdancer:** he was walking behind angor thot n i think they nearly noticed me but i portalled back before they could do smth

**keepitcrispy:** she almost fell right onto the table right as mary n shannon came back

**keepitcrispy:** was it really necessary to call him angor thot

**shadowdancer:** of course

**shadowdancer:** [couple goalz.jpg]

**shadowdancer:** they’re so cute

**cheddarjohn:** hold on u went to the fair without us? were missing out on a reckless club reunion?

**cheddarjohn:** and theyre gonna free an evil sorceress?

**keepitcrispy:** yes to both of ur questions

**keepitcrispy:** but to be fair, we’re on a date

**cheddarjohn:** damn

**potterybitch:** how depressing it is to be a single teenager.

**cheddarjohn:** eh not really

**potterybitch:** good for you, kid.

**blinknwink:** Can we concentrate on the ancient evil that Gunmar is trying to free, please?

**potterybitch:** possibly.

**blinknwink:** Let us at least give it a try. 

**shadowdancer:** roasted

**shadowdancer:** so yea we know how we gonna get there but can strickler’s spy tell us when they’re planning to leave

**potterybitch:** they say that they’re planning to leave tomorrow night.

**keepitcrispy:** well shit

**keepitcrispy:** i gotta ask my mom

**shadowdancer:** he’s seriously texting his mom rn

**keepitcrispy:** i don’t want her to worry idk if merlin’s tomb gets service or not

**blinknwink:** Tell your mother I say hi!

**potterybitch:** me too.

**keepitcrispy:** okay i’m telling her

**shadowdancer:** so who’s going

**cheddarjohn:** not me i got shit to do

**cheddarjohn:** sleep to get

**springflingking:** i only just got here but i’m also not going bc tomorrow night i gotta uh

**springflingking:** i promised i was gonna help coach plan a surprise for my mom’s birthday

**keepitcrispy:** steve? doing something nice? 

**keepitcrispy:** i mean it’s ur mom i’m not really surprised but

**shadowdancer:** jim is ride or die for his mom

**keepitcrispy:** i think that’s a little extra but if it helps u sleep at night then sure

**keepitcrispy:** also i think i’m legally required to join u

**blinknwink:** You are. It’s in your contract.

**keepitcrispy:** cool

**potterybitch:** there’s a fundraiser at the museum tomorrow night. i would love to join you guys, but i’m required to be there to make sure everything goes to plan. 

**potterybitch:** also, i get paid to dress up and convince people to give us money. it’s wonderful.

**keepitcrispy:** i’ll ask toby if he’s going wHEN HE COMES BACK FROM MAKING OUT WITH DARCI

**shadowdancer:** THEY COULD BE NOT MAKING OUT

**keepitcrispy:** they’re definitely making out if u look very carefully at the ferris wheel you can tell

**shadowdancer:** [no they’re not.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** but are u sure claire

**shadowdancer:** mary is suspicious of me dying of laughter go fuck urself jim

**springflingking:** maybe there’s someone else he can fuck instead ;)

**keepitcrispy:** i’m flattered steve really flattered but i’m on a date with my gf rn so maybe another night

**shadowdancer:** siudbguigudgsb

**potterybitch:** oh my fucking god. 

**springflingking:** jSUS

**blinknwink:** I will be coming, along with Aaarrrrgh!, of course.

**springflingking:** so does it suck for toby bein like. a fifth wheel all the time

**potterybitch:** i always thought he was slightly luckier than the rest of them.

**potterybitch:** their love lives are tied up with the world of trolls, while when tobias is with darci, his trollhunter duties are not involved.

**springflingking:** huh

**shadowdancer:** we’re right here u know

**potterybitch:** i know. let me be deep and insightful for a moment.

**springflingking:** i mean nomura’s right tho

**furzalski:** why r u guys talkin abt my love life?

**blinknwink:** Would you like to join us in stopping Gunmar from taking the Staff of Avalon to free your mother?

**furzalski:** hell yea

**blinknwink:** So, we have a plan?

**shadowdancer:** yea

**keepitcrispy:** got it covered

**potterybitch:** elijah, with them out of town, if any shit goes on with gumm-gumms, i’m calling you.

**cheddarjohn:** what am i gonna do???

**potterybitch:** distract them while i kill them.

**cheddarjohn:** you wont actually call will u

**potterybitch:** no.

**cheddarjohn:** fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already. to all my readers who've been waiting anxiously for me to return from the dead, congrats for making it this far. next chapter they go visit uncle marlin, see ya tomorrow :P


	50. i went to merlin's tomb and all i got was this asshole wizard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title basically says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy 2 chapters in a row! yeet

**keepitcrispy:** [GUESS WHO’S NOT DEAD.jpg]

**cheddarjohn:** hOLY SHIT

**cheddarjohn:** wait who the fuck is he

**keepitcrispy:** that’s merlin

**cheddarjohn:** oh cool

**furzalski:** he’s sort of an asshole

**cheddarjohn:** wait wha

**furzalski:** he’s a fucking asshole

**keepitcrispy:** dgnigudggd

**cheddarjohn:** so how did it go

**keepitcrispy:** uh well claire shadowportaled us over there except they were already inside but   
**furzalski:** we couldn’t shadowportal directly inside

**furzalski:** couldn’t use my warhammer in there which. sucks ass   
**keepitcrispy:** so we go inside n there’s this room that’s like. i think it was an old workshop or smth?

**furzalski:** yea

**furzalski:** n if u stepped on a stone in the floor it went back into the past so that was cool

**keepitcrispy:** at first we were trying to figure out how to get out of there but then we found a bag of seeds

**furzalski:** i found the bag of seeds

**keepitcrispy:** n claire noticed a pot in the corner near an opening that was way too high up for us to reach so she planted it when it was in the past n when we stepped off the stone it grew really tall so we could get out

**furzalski:** it was rad

**keepitcrispy:** then we saw this mural that was like. super cool

**cheddarjohn:** does any of this matter to the actual story

**furzalski:** be fuckin patient eli

**keepitcrispy:** n we were like ‘hey that’s us’ and then angor rot tried to kill us

**keepitcrispy:** again

**furzalski:** then we noticed draal’s arm in this hole in the floor so we went thru there n ended up in a big cave of crystals

**keepitcrispy:** i nearly died and tried to access my armor but it didn’t work

**furzalski:** which is such fucking bullshit why couldn’t merlin just let like  _ his _ magic work

**keepitcrispy:** i survived

**furzalski:** but angor rot nearly killed you

**cheddarjohn:** woah woah WHT

**keepitcrispy:** you’re skipping ahead

**furzalski:** whatever

**keepitcrispy:** i found draal and we were trying to get to the staff of avalon

**keepitcrispy:** but angor thot almost beat us there

**furzalski:** that’s when he tried to kill you

**keepitcrispy:** goddamnit toby 

**cheddarjohn:** i get it angor thot tried to kill jim

**furzalski:** he destroyed the amulet then tried to shove him off a crystal

**furzalski:** then gunmar showed up n draal died protecting jim

**potterybitch:** wait, draal is dead?

**keepitcrispy:** unfortunately

**potterybitch:** may he rest in peace with his father.

**keepitcrispy:** hopefully, he will.

**cheddarjohn:** what happened next

**furzalski:** the chamber started flooding and we ended up in merlin’s actual tomb

**furzalski:** unfortunately, that fucker was still alive and the amulet woke him up

**cheddarjohn:** why do you hate him so much

**furzalski:** because he’s an asshole, eli, keep up

**keepitcrispy:** he’s known merlin for two hours and is actually already plotting his death

**cheddarjohn:** wonderful

**furzalski:** so merlin woke up like the dickhead he was, insulted me, insulted blinky, hit on claire, and was basically an asshole

**furzalski:** but he fixed the amulet n made sure we didn’t die

**keepitcrispy:** he also showed that lil glimpse of the battle of killahead with him n morgana fighting

**cheddarjohn:** woah he insulted blinky what the fuclk

**furzalski:** he’s an ASSHOLe eli

 

**furzalski** changed the group name to  **anti-merlin club**

 

**keepitcrispy:** i’m like legally obligated to be nice to him unfortunately

**keepitcrispy:** besides like, being stuck in this job until i die, and then nearly dying every other fucking day, this is the worst part of being a trollhunter

**shadowdancer:** oh yea my parents decided this would be the perfect night to confront me abt being a trollhunter so i can’t leave the house for a week

**keepitcrispy:** can we go to your house

**shadowdancer:** my dad will yeet u into the next dimension are u sure u wanna take that chance

**keepitcrispy:** i take that back

**shadowdancer:** tell me if y’all do murder merlin n video chat me for it i want to see him die

**furzalski:** we’ll make sure to

**cheddarjohn:** remind me never to get on ur bad side

**shadowdancer:** will do

**springflingking:** ok i just checked my phone and let me make it clear

**springflingking:** despite being the strongest dude here i am not helping u guys hide a body

 

**angorrotten** created the group  **family matters**

 

**angorrotten** added  **furzalski** to the group

 

**angorrotten:** come help release ur mother

**furzalski:** do it urself???

**angorrotten:** the staff of avalon can only be wielded by human hands

**angorrotten:** what better human to release her than her own son

**furzalski:** hm. no

**angorrotten:** it’s a simple incantation in trollish

**furzalski:** bold of u to assume i can say more than one thing in trollish

**angorrotten:** ???

**furzalski:** lat fys fynka, angor

**angorrotten:** rude

**angorrotten:** that doesn’t mean u cannot learn

**furzalski:** man u sure are persistent

**angorrotten:** come down to trollmarket n release ur mother

**angorrotten:** or i could come n kill all ur friends 1 by 1

**furzalski:** what time should i be there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmm that ending tho >:) next chapter merlin gets threatened by everyone (posting it on monday)
> 
> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already!


	51. murder!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's here and everyone hates him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year's eve to y'all! there's gonna be a new chapter every day until friday so get lit
> 
> i'm probably gonna be chugging coffee to make sure everything is up to par so these notes may get weirder as the week goes on
> 
> anyways enjoy the chapter!

**keepitcrispy:** i think my mom is going to kill merlin

**shadowdancer:** sounds good to me

**keepitcrispy:** or nomura is going to

**potterybitch:** we’re going to kill him together. it’s going to be fun. 

**keepitcrispy:** also nomura came over after merlin started staying in the garage and hasn’t left

**keepitcrispy:** it’s been two days

**keepitcrispy:** she also keeps flirting with my mom and my mom is flirting back

**shadowdancer:** changeling kink

**keepitcrispy:** sTOP oh my goD

**potterybitch:** you know what, little gynt?

**potterybitch:** fuck off.

**shadowdancer:** wow

**potterybitch:** someone has to make sure merlin doesn’t try to kill anyone.

**shadowdancer:** and get some pussy in the progress

**potterybitch:** i don’t trust him.

**potterybitch:** but that is an added benefit.

**keepitcrispy:** i am actually crying if u hear sounds from my room that is me weeping at this conversation

**shadowdancer:** do you think my mom would notice if i shadowstaffed to ur garage and fought merlin

**keepitcrispy:** probably

**shadowdancer:** damn

**cheddarjohn:** i went over yesterday and i nearly threw hands with him

**shadowdancer:** eli u may be a weak bitch but i believe that u could have won

**cheddarjohn:** i dont know if i should be offended or not by you calling me a weak bitch

**shadowdancer:** it’s a compliment

**cheddarjohn:** and to be fair i have thrown hands with a motherfucker before

**potterybitch:** didn’t you once throw kyle out of a window?

**cheddarjohn:** yes

**potterybitch:** fun times

**cheddarjohn:** can i throw merlin out a window

**keepitcrispy:** apparently i can’t according to blinky bc he might be able to help us defeat gunmar

**cheddarjohn:** new plan you defeat gunmar by literally yeeting merlin in his face then stabbing him while hes distracted

**keepitcrispy:** eli u gotdamn mastermind

**potterybitch:** no, it will have to be two people. i will yeet merlin and you can stab him with the eclipse blade.

**shadowdancer:** this plan is the true key to defeating gunmar

**shadowdancer:** yeet a wizard at him

**potterybitch:** it’s the best possible option. 

**springflingking:** hey buttsnacks whaddup

**keepitcrispy:** murder!

**springflingking:** wonderful

**keepitcrispy:** we’re defeating gunmar by yeeting merlin at him

**springflingking:** lit

**springflingking:** i haven’t met merlin yet but he already sounds like the world’s second biggest asshole

**keepitcrispy:** who’s the world’s first biggest asshole

**springflingking:** my bitch ass bio dad

**keepitcrispy:** mood!

**potterybitch:** he’s such a pretentious asshole. even stricklander isn’t that pompous.

**potterybitch:** even if the janus order hadn’t found him, he most likely would have left anyways.

**keepitcrispy:** i’ll mcfight him

**keepitcrispy:** we can yeet him AND merlin at gunmar

**potterybitch:** that asshole still supports gunmar. like an actual idiot.

**potterybitch:** i support this. we can double yeet.

**keepitcrispy:** DOUBLE YEET

**springflingking:** I SUPPORT THE DOUBLE YEET

**shadowdancer:** D O U NLE Y EET RU IHGUHGUIE

**springflingking:** that’s my new username sovjnfb

 

**springflingking** changed their name to  **doubleyeet**

 

**keepitcrispy:** u alright there babe

**shadowdancer:** i’m actually crying guys my mom is gonna ask why i sound like i’m dying

**keepitcrispy:** rip

**shadowdancer:** she stuck her head in like ‘u ok sweetheart’ and i had to look up from the floor like i didn’t actually just fall off my bed laughing my goddamn ass off

**keepitcrispy:** iconic

**keepitcrispy:** i have never loved you more than this one moment

**shadowdancer:** thanks

**shadowdancer:** my mom: hey if u need anything u know i’m downstairs

**shadowdancer:** me, wheezing on the floor: thx mom

**keepitcrispy:** rip ur mom

**furzalski:** hey guys i’m gonna disappear for like. a day don’t worry i’m not gonna die bye

**keepitcrispy:** toby wtf u can’t just tell us that you’re gonna disappear and expect us not to worry

**furzalski:** hey a dude’s gotta have his secrets

**keepitcrispy:** ok but if u die i will personally fight u

**furzalski:** wonderful have fun fighting my corpse but i really gotta go

**keepitcrispy:** fine. just be safe, okay?

**potterybitch:** use a condom.

**keepitcrispy:** u say this while trying to get with my mom

**potterybitch:** we would have safe sex.

**keepitcrispy:** mcblocked

 

**furzalski** created the group chat  **bitch**

 

**furzalski** added  **angorrotten**

  
**furzalski:** i’m here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy how abt that ending y'all! next chapter - well, that's a surprise >:)
> 
> if u liked this chapter, be sure to comment n leave a kjudo if u haven't already
> 
> remember - look forward to a new chapter every fuckin day


	52. what the fuckity fuck fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chaos begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh happy new year guys it's the time of nineteen hours str8 jacking 
> 
> i hope y'all enjoy this chapter! yeet

**shadowdancer:** i know it’s california but did anyone just feel that

**blinknwink:** That was not a normal earthquake. 

**potterybitch:** morgana. 

**shadowdancer:** ah that bitch

**blinknwink:** You don’t mean….?

**potterybitch:** gunmar must have figured out a way to release her. even with merlin’s safeguard.

**potterybitch:** that safeguard was the most idiotic thing. it’s the perfect way for changelings to release her. despite her literally creating changelings.

**potterybitch:** dude never shuts up. i despise him.

**shadowdancer:** i can’t believe in a crisis we’re still complaining abt merlin

**keepitcrispy:** he’s a mcbastard claire

**shadowdancer:** i see ur insult talent really comes out at night huh

**keepitcrispy:** yep

**blinknwink:** Let me remind you all that Morgana is probably being released right now.

**shadowdancer:** sorry

**potterybitch:** she is underneath the heartstone, correct?

**blinknwink:** Yes. According to Merlin, the Heartstone of Trollmarket flourishes as it does because it feeds off of her magic.

**keepitcrispy:** does that mean with her released the heartstone will die

**potterybitch:** the heartstone has been dying since gunmar took over trollmarket. he drained it of most of its power shortly after taking charge.

**potterybitch:** with morgana out, she will most likely kill the heartstone to create the eternal night.

**shadowdancer:** i’m guessing that’s not a good thing

**potterybitch:** it will cast the world into an eternal darkness so the gumm-gumms can run free and take over. so no, not a good thing.

**shadowdancer:** ah

**keepitcrispy:** so we have to go into trollmarket and stop her, right?

**potterybitch:** that part will provide difficult.

**furzalski:** i’m so so sorry

**keepitcrispy:** wait toby why are you sorry

**furzalski:** angor threatened to kill you guys if i didn’t come free her i had no choice i’m sorry

**shadowdancer:** it’s okay.

**potterybitch:** why didn’t you tell us?

**potterybitch:** we could have solved this problem. we could have stopped this. why didn’t you at least have the foresight not to go alone?

**keepitcrispy:** nomura

**potterybitch:** now she’s going to unleash the eternal night. she’s going to kill the heartstone. she’s going to destroy your human world as you know it.

**potterybitch:** do you think it will only be humans who die? do you think she cares about us? my brethen and i may be her creations, but we will all perish if she can’t get to merlin.

**potterybitch:** we wil all perish regardless. 

**keepitcrispy:** that’s enough

**furzalski:** i 

**furzalski:** i know i’ve made a huge mistake but i can help from the inside

**potterybitch:** this was not just a mistake.

**furzalski:** why can’t you understand?

**potterybitch:** because you betrayed us.

**potterybitch:** we don’t need the help of a traitor. 

**keepitcrispy:** both of you, stop it.

**shadowdancer:** when i got possessed by morgana, you understood 

**shadowdancer:** why is this so much different

**potterybitch:** he made a choice. you didn’t.

**shadowdancer:** yes, i did

**potterybitch:** but you didn’t know about the consequences. you didn’t know the chaos you would cause. tobias did.

**blinknwink:** We have all made mistakes, Zelda.

**potterybitch:** it was more than a mistake, blinkous. it was our death sentence.

**potterybitch:** draal did not die for this. he did not sacrifice his life for some stupid human to doom us all.  

 

**potterybitch** has left the group

 

**keepitcrispy:** i’ll talk to her.

**shadowdancer:** ok

**blinknwink:** Does Merlin know?

**keepitcripsy:** probably

**keepitcrispy:** if you can, come to my house when it’s actually morning. we need a plan.

**shadowdancer:** let’s see if my mom will accept ‘we need to stop the world from ending’ as a reason for me to go out of the house

 

**keepitcrispy** created the group  **sorry**

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **potterybitch** to the group

 

**keepitcrispy:** nomura?

**keepitcrispy:** i know you’re mad, but we can’t do this without you

**keepitcrispy:** please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh spiCy! next chapter - some mild planning takes place
> 
> if u enjoyed this chapter leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't gotten the chance to
> 
> i only have one more chapter to write bc i drank a pot of coffee last night to stay up til midnite n had nothing better to do so yea


	53. back to school? wack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer break is ending, and at the worst possible time too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet yeet yeet i tried to name this chapter 'wack to school' but it didn't seem right
> 
> anyways this is kinda more light hearted so that we all don't drown in angst i guess
> 
> enjoy this chapter

**cheddarjohn:** school starts in like a week guys are u ready

**furzalski:** given that i am trapped in trollmarket again i would say i am not ready

**keepitcrispy:** fuck i forgot abt school with u know. the evil sorceress released upon the world

**cheddarjohn:** that tends to ruin the hype

**shadowdancer:** can we let morgana destroy the world b4 school starts

**furzalski:** please don’t

**keepitcrispy:** i am not ready for junior year

**furzalski:** didn’t senor uhl threaten u with having to repeat sophomore year

**keepitcrispy:** technically he can’t make me retake the entire year over at once

**keepitcrispy:** but i do have to make up classes this year n next year

**keepitcrispy:** and during summer school

**keepitcrispy:** heh i’m a failure

**cheddarjohn:** the idea of failing is a concept meant to oppress students who have mental illnesses that prevent them from being able to live up to the expectations of strict teachers

**shadowdancer:** wise words from elijah pepperjack

**doubleyeet:** honestly i have been bullshitting my way thru high school since freshman year n i am doing fucking fantastic

**cheddarjohn:** the ideal dumb jock

**doubleyeet:** i accept the dumb jock stereotype with pride i’m doing gr8

**keepitcrispy:** should i go back to school shopping or defeat morgana

**furzalski:** multitask just go to staples then portal to trollmarket n run her over with a shopping cart

**furzalski:** take down a few gumm-gumms on the way to really catch her off guard

**keepitcrispy:** ah yes the classic shopping cart of death move

**keepitcrispy:** how are you doing down there

**furzalski:** uhh it’s kinda weird bc she’s trying to be semi-motherly 

**furzalski:** except i don’t think she’s ever really mothered like? she’s treating me like a child who is also very powerful which is a weird way to explain it

**keepitcrispy:** weird

**furzalski:** “someday you’ll be by my side are you ready” bitch i’m 16 and also not evil so no to both of those statements

**shadowdancer:** u: i’m 16 do you think i’m ready for anything i can barely drive

**doubleyeet:** call him out claire goddamn

**keepitcrispy:** sigugsisu

**furzalski:** anyways i also snuck some dwarkstones in so i’m planning my escape and when i do escape i’m gonna fight claire

**shadowdancer:** u know what that’s fair

**furzalski:** wait do u think that i can defeat gunmar with a dwarkstone

**keepitcrispy:** that sounds like. a bad idea

**furzalski:** i’ve had worse

**keepitcrispy:** true

**shadowdancer:** weren’t we supposed to meet this morning to talk abt defeating them anywyas

**keepitcrispy:** nomura disappeared last night after the conversation. i tried going to the changeling house, but they said they hadn’t seen her either plus she wouldn’t text me back

**shadowdancer:** did u check the museum

**keepitcrispy:** ,,,,,,,,,,no

**keepitcrispy:** didn’t cross my mind at all if we’re bein honest

**keepitcrispy:** i’m gonna go to the museum

**furzalski:** my phone is abt to die so i’ll be kinda dead in the chat

**furzalski:** but from what i hear the eternal night will take place in about four hours

**furzalski:** i;ll try to escape around then but if i can’t, well

**furzalski:** we’ll see

**shadowdancer:** good luck

**shadowdancer:** i’ll start a countdown

**shadowdancer:** my mom says i’m ungrounded since the world is abt to end

**blinknwink:** What has Merlin said about the situation?

**keepitcrispy:** he says that w/o morgana starting the eternal night he can’t get his magic back so like. thx a lot marlin

**keepitcrispy:** her car is hereee so i’m assumm ing she’s inside

**keepitcrispy:** damn tremors

**keepitcrispy:** meet up @ my house in fifteen minutes?

**blinknwink:** See you there.

**shadowdancer:** can do

**doubleyeet:** cool

**cheddarjohn:** can i get a ride

**doubleyeet:** sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> n now the Real Shit™ begins....
> 
> if u liked this chapter, comment or leave a kudo if u haven't already
> 
> last night, i finished writing the last chapter of this fic. it's been more than a year since i started writing this. more than a year since i had the stupid idea to write a text fic for trollhunters, because i hadn't seen anyone else doing it at the time. it was a joke, something i posted bc i had went 'fuck it.'
> 
> and now it's become a 50+ chapter fic with its own plot and not just stupid jokes (well, mostly stupid jokes). i just wanted to say thank you to all my readers. stay crispy, y'all.


	54. [shameless mother mother reference]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle commences, and more than a few Arcadia residents are rightfully confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's time for the Real Shit
> 
> but it's not the end yet :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!

**keepitcrispy** changed the group to  **mission give me back the night**

 

**shadowdancer:** that doesn’t even make sense

**keepitcrispy:** it’s a song title i was trying to be clever

 

**keepitcrispy** added  **potterybitch** ,  **waltstrickler** and  **kylethedestroya** to the group

 

**potterybitch:** the eternal night will officially begin in two and a half hours. here’s the plan.

**keepitcrispy:** nomura, the changelings and the trolls, along with the creepslayers will be fighting the gumm-gumms on the surface while i face off with gunmar

**keepitcrispy:** meanwhile, claire, blinky, and merlin will head down to trollmarket with arrrgh to rescue toby and to defeat morgana

**shadowdancer:** with the darklands collapsing, notenrique and chompsky are using the fetch to retrieve the human familiars in the nursery there

**keepitcrispy:** merlin created smth for that so it shouldn’t be too hard if they find the nursery quickly

**potterybitch:** at 4:30 we will all meet up at the lake residence to prepare. then, at 5 o’clock, we will depart to go our separate ways.

**waltstrickler:** Alright.

**kylethedestroya:** cool

 

**beammeupdarci** has created the group  **what the fuck arcadia oaks??**

 

**beammeupdarci** added  **maryyyyy** ,  **shanlonghan** ,  **livelyaja** , and 1 other

 

**beammeupdarci:** so uhhhh what the fuck is going on

**livelyaja:** i have nothing to do with it

**krel:** neither do i

**maryyyyy:** some dude just sliced thru a truck

**livelyaja:** oh yeah

**krel:** why is this town so fucking weird

**beammeupdarci:** honestly i’ve lived here my whole life n i have no idea

**shanlonghan:** luckily i’m in paris so au revior i hope u bitches are having fun dying bc of whatever the fuck is happening this week

**maryyyyy:** bbabe please

**shanlonghan:** wish u were xoxo

**livelyaja:** so this isn’t normal right

**beammeupdarci:** unless the sky normally turns red and monsters start fighting in the streets in cantaloupia, not reallu

**krel:** it doesn’t but this town is weird enough that it wopuldn’t surprise me

**livelyaja:** i think i see steve and eli fighting some lil green monsters

**shanlonghan:** are y’all just wondering around arcadia during this apocalypse

**livelyaja:** our aunt came to visit n now we’re lost getting home

**krel:** yea

**maryyyyy:** anyways i’m vlogging all of this

**beammeupdarci:** that’s valid

**maryyyyy:** I THINK THAT DUDE WHI SLICED THRU A TRUCK WAS JIM

**maryyyyy:** HE GOT HAWT

**beammeupdarci:** you’re such a monsterfucker please

**maryyyyy:** you’re such a furry

**beammeupdarci:** you know what fair

**livelyaja:** wait holy kleb that is jim how did he become um, not a noodle

**shanlonghan:** this hwhole thing is just. Incomprehensible

**shanlonghan:** i’m going back to bed bc it is 2 AM here and this whole convo might just be a weird fever drea,

**shanlonghan:** knew that escargot was suspicious

**krel:** as soon as this shit is over aja we’re getting the fuck out of here

**livelyaja:** noted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what's gonna happen next? find out tomorrow when i post the next chapter
> 
> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already
> 
> here's the song i referenced if anyone's wondering: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ygr9Zhzj3M


	55. aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War never has a nice, neat ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh spicy
> 
> last chapter b4 i go back to my regular posting schedule for the last few chapters so prepare urself y'all 
> 
> enjoy the chapter!

**keepitcrispy** changed the group name to  **victory**

 

**keepitcrispy:** i guess we’ve won

**shadowdancer:** you guess?

**keepitcrispy:** idk it seems so odd

**keepitcrispy:** for the last few months i’ve been ready to kill gunmar or die trying

**keepitcrispy:** and i was certain that if i did kill gunmar i would die doing it

**keepitcrispy:** but gunmar’s dead, and i’m alive

**furzalski:** yea.

**shadowdancer:** and we didn’t kill morgana.

**doubleyeet:** morgana’s still alive?

**doubleyeet:** i feel like i’m missing smth here

**shadowdancer:** we only stripped her of her magic

**keepitcrispy:** which i don’t entirely understand

**shadowdancer:** in the final fight, merlin stole his magic back

**shadowdancer:** but it killed him, basically causing a magical apocalypse

**blinknwink:** It shattered the Heartstone, which she had been using to fuel the Eternal Night.

**doubleyeet:** so merlin’s selfish assholeness stopped the eternal night

**keepitcrispy:** basically

**doubleyeet:** at least he did one thing right

**shadowdancer:** she seems so empty without it

**keepitcrispy:** she’s staying with nomura and the changelings until further notice

**doubleyeet:** oh.

**cheddarjohn:** wiat what abt angor rot

**keepitcrispy:** he helped me defeat gunmar but when morgana’s magic died, he died along with it

**shadowdancer:** i didn’t know he helped defeat gunmar

**keepitcrispy:** yeah.

**cheddarjohn:** what do we do now?

**keepitcrispy:** i guess we just savor the sunlight again

**shadowdancer:** have we figured out how to explain everything to the ppl who had no idea trolls existed

**keepitcrispy:** fuck

**keepitcrispy:** gotta deal with that first

**shadowdancer:** my mom’s close with the mayor so i can probably help her figure out a way to explain it

**shadowdancer:** that won’t like freak out everyone

**doubleyeet:** h8 to break it to you but everyone was already freaking out when the eternal night was taking place

**shadowdancer:** true

**furzalski:** what are we gonna do abt morgana?

**potterybitch:** i do not know.

**potterybitch:** she has been holed up in her room since we brought her here.

**furzalski:** maybe i’ll go over and visit her

**potterybitch:** it would not be the worst idea.

**potterybitch:** i have to warn you, the atmosphere in the house is tense, to say the least.

**keepitcrispy:** i could come w/ u if u want

**furzalski:** thx jim

**furzalski:** you could finally meet ur grandma morgana

**keepitcrispy:** please don’t remind me of that

**furzalski:** too late

**keepitcrispy:** man i never thought saving the world would leave so many loose ends

**potterybitch:** i thought you would know by now that life is not that simple, little gynt.

**keepitcrispy:** never really thought this far ahead

**doubleyeet:** livin in the moment

**keepitcrispy:** or livin like i wasn’t gonna survive it

**potterybitch:** pretty macabre, even for you.

**keepitcrispy:** sometimes we all need a lil pessimistic realism

**keepitcrispy:** the best case wasn’t lookin too much better than the worst case tbh

**shadowdancer:** jim…

**keepitcrispy:** i’ll say it

**keepitcrispy:** i was ready to die

**shadowdancer:** are you okay?

**keepitcrispy:** i’ve been better

**keepitcrispy:** it feels like this whole summer i was just trying to make it day to day 

**keepitcrispy:** waiting for gunmar to make a move and for an end to this battle

**keepitcrispy:** and now that it’s here it feels… empty

**furzalski:** i get that.

**keepitcrispy:** i want to just take a long ass nap honestly

**keepitcrispy:** i haven’t really been able to sleep in months

**furzalski:** so jim’s gonna take a fat ass nap, i’m gonna visit morgana, and claire’s gonna make sure the city doesn’t dissolve into a mass panic

**furzalski:** the glamorous life of heroes i guess

**keepitcrispy:** the glamorous life of trollhunters

**potterybitch:** enjoy your freedom.

**shadowdancer:** fuck school starts in like three days doesn’t it

**potterybitch:** enjoy your short time of freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy y'all can guess what's happenin next chapter (hint: it involves partying)
> 
> if u liked this chapter leave a comment n kudo if u haven't already
> 
> see y'all next week


	56. the unofficial goodbyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some choices are ones you have to make, and some you make for the greater good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i promised a rager but then i decided to split this chapter in two bc that part was getting too long so. yea
> 
> enjoy this chapter! three more left!

**blinknwink:** We can’t stay here in Arcadia Oaks. 

**blinknwink:** We’re already weak from the lack of a Heartstone, and it’s been destroyed. 

**blinknwink:** We have to go to New Jersey, you included. There is already a settlement there, Heili Hjarta, where we can stay. 

**keepitcrispy:** i know

**keepitcrispy:** i heard you n my mom talking abt it

**blinknwink:** I’m sorry, Master Jim.

**keepitcrispy:** how long is it until we leave

**blinknwink:** Tomorrow night. The Gyre is still mostly operational, which will make the journey easier.

**keepitcrispy:** so soon???

**blinknwink:** It is an urgent matter.

**shadowdancer:** why can’t he stay in arcadia oaks?

**blinknwink:** Without trolls here in Arcadia, there is no need for a Trollhunter.

**furzalski:** no need for a trollhunter or no need for any trollhunters?

**furzalski:** if jim’s going, i’m going too 

**keepitcrispy:** you don’t have to go 

**keepitcrispy:** you and claire could stay here in arcadia oaks and live a normal life

**keepitcrispy:** i don’t have a choice, you two do

**furzalski:** first of all we all know i’m ur ride or die friend so jot that down

**furzalski:** plus i’ve been in this since the beginning

**furzalski:** we’ve all made sacrifices

**furzalski:** even if i stay i know my life will never really be ‘normal’

**shadowdancer:** we’re all trollhunters, jim

**keepitcrispy:** blinky?

**blinknwink:** If your families allow it, you are welcome to come along.

**blinknwink:** Are you sure?

**furzalski:** yes.

**shadowdancer:** definitely

**doubleyeet:** wait you guys are leaving???

**keepitcrispy:** a trollhunter’s work never ends, i guess

**doubleyeet:** guess it’s up to me n eli to protect tbhe plebs then

**cheddarjohn:** time for the Creepslayerz™ to earn their due then

**doubleyeet:** we’re thinkin abt trademarking it

**furzalski:** if u do send me creepslayerz merch plz

**doubleyeet:** oh u know i will be making creepslayerz™ shirts by the dozen

**cheddarjohn:** my uncle knows a guy

**doubleyeet:** anyway if u guys are leaving can we throw a goodbye party

**furzalski:** we leave tomorrow night so u better start planning

**doubleyeet:** HELLL YEAH

**doubleyeet:** my mom n coach lawerence are at a pre-school spa retreat

**doubleyeet:** lemme tell u one thing abt coach lawerence that dude is mad stressed

**cheddarjohn:** i can bring snacks

**doubleyeet:** oh yeah i can see if i can get aja’s bro to DJ

**cheddarjohn:** is that an excuse to talk to aja 

**doubleyeet:** shhhuut up i know u like krel

**furzalski:** rjnbinrinbrb 

**furzalski:** nice to get that gossip

**doubleyeet:** elijah l pepperjack has a crush on krel tarron

**doubleyeet:** screenshot that

**shadowdancer:** wow okay

**cheddarjohn:** hey did u know steve and aja are literally dating

**keepitcrispy:** HOW MUCH SHIT DID I MISS WHILE WE WEERE TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLDS 

**doubleyeet:** giogirng MOOOOD

**cheddarjohn:** u missed a lot i nearly died in the forest

**doubleyeet:** i’m gonna start inviting ppl

**furzalski:** wait let me tell darci i’m leaving 1st

**furzalski:** noah fence but i don’t want her to find out from u

**doubleyeet:** tbh? that’s fair

**potterybitch:** send me pictures. i haven’t been to a wild party since new years’ eve 1999.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo if u haven't already! next chapter we finally get that rager
> 
> anyways i went n added some 3below references bc. of course so yes staja is canon in this fic now i just realized that


	57. THE RAGER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Austin Powers voice* Party planning, baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 4 am n i have to finish an english assignment but i wanted to be sure to post this so uh enjoy my dudes
> 
> these kids bout to get wild

**doubleyeet** created the group  **parttyyyyyyy**

 

**doubleyeet** added  **maryyyyy** ,  **beammeupdarci** ,  **nothpseamus** , and 3 others

 

**doubleyeet:** ayyyyy anyone up for a party tonight

**doubleyeet:** a ‘hey the world’s not over’ party

**nothpseamus:** sure

**maryyyyy:** hell yea

**cheddarjohn:** why did u add me im already going

**livelyaja:** i’d love to go! can i bring my lil bro

**doubleyeet:** will he be up to dj

**livelyaja:** i’ll ask 

**maryyyyy:** i thought u guys were leaving

**livelyaja:** there were some complications so we’ll be here for a while longer

**maryyyyy:** oh

**livelyaja:** i’m going to add him

 

**livelyaja** added  **djkleb**

 

**djkleb:** u made me change my username just so i could join this chat?

**livelyaja:** yes

**djkleb:** i can dj for ur party i guess

**djkleb:** not like there’s anything else i would possibly have to do

**doubleyeet:** nice

**djkleb:** what’s it for anyways

**doubleyeet:** it’s a bit of a goodbye party for jim, claire, and toby

**livelyaja:** jim? isn’t he the one who went from noodle to ‘hawt’?

**doubleyeet:** being hawt is an occasional thing for him

**doubleyeet:** he’s usually a noodle

**nothpseamus:** bold of u to assume i know who any of those ppl are

**doubleyeet:** they saved our asses u better

**nothpseamus:** ok i think i know them

**beammeupdarci:** oh yea toby told me i’ll be there

**livelyaja:** i don’t think i’ve ever actually met toby

**livelyaja:** or any of them

**beammeupdarci:** well apparently he almost died like twice so there’s that

**maryyyyy:** why do i miss out on all the fun

**shanlonghan:** bc u have a gf who’s biggest crime has been embazzlement

**beammeupdarci:** hey toby’s not a felon he’s got that at least

**doubleyeet:** not yet

**doubleyeet:** jersey is wild

**nothpseamus:** i lived there for two months and i can confirm this

**beammeupdarci:** at least in my heart he’s not my dad doesn’t trust him

**djkleb:** to be fair he doesn’t trust me either

**beammeupdarci:** bc the first time he met u ur grandpa was causing havoc on the town

**livelyaja:** he wasn’t causing that much havoc

**djkleb:** he’s dead to me.

**cheddarjohn:** what did i miss

**cheddarjohn:** we went from talking about a party to krel disowning his granddad

**doubleyeet:** honestly we’ve gone from talking abt troll 101 to why toby was probably part troll bc jim was high on tooth pain

**beammeupdarci:** wonderful

**doubleyeet:** he was right tho

**beammeupdarci:** jgunrirr

**nothpseamus:** what is going on here

**doubleyeet:** important conversation

**nothpseamus:** look all i need to know is what time to come over

**doubleyeet:** come over to my place by like 7 or smth?

**cheddarjohn:** im bringin snax but yall are welcome to bring food too

**doubleyeet:** see y’all tongiht

**nothpseamus:** yea i’m ready to get LIT

 

**furzalski** created the group  **party animals**

 

**furzalski** added  **potterybitch**

 

**furzalski:** [who brought glug.jpg]

**furzalski:** [jim goes full tilf.jpg]

**furzalski:** [eli hidden party animal.jpg]

**furzalski:** [spin those funky beats.jpg]

**furzalski:** [fist fight in the bathroom.jpg]

**potterybitch:** how did you get pics of a fight in the bathroom?

**furzalski:** we all have our ways, nomura

**furzalski:** [steve gets swept off his feet (literally).jpg]

**furzalski:** and the crowing jewel: 

**furzalski:** [jim yeets eli.jpg]

**potterybitch:** i am not even going to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo if y'all liked the chapter leave a comment/kudo if u haven't already! next chapter they get ready to leave :(
> 
> two more chapters left!


	58. bon voyage!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more official goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god guys the next chapter is the last holy shit
> 
> isn't that so weird to think abt bc it's weird for me lol
> 
> enjoy the chapter!

**shadowdancer:** hey do u know the exact place heili hjarta is

**shadowdancer:** my mom is trying to find a hs there to enroll me in so i don’t miss too much school

**furzalski:** ur mom is so xtra

**keepitcrispy:** it’s in bayonne, nj

**furzalski:** huh

**shadowdancer:** what? 

**furzalski:** when i was talking to morgana she said that was where my mom was from

**shadowdancer:** yea that makes sense

**keepitcrispy:** yea my mom is like ‘u can be a trollhunter but plz at least get ur diploma’ which i mean. fair

**furzalski:** man bayonne high is not gonna know what hit them

**doubleyeet:** arcadia oaks is gonna be a lot less wild without y’all

**doubleyeet:** or not there’s still goblins fucking around

**keepitcrispy:** you’re gonna miss us

**doubleyeet:** yea of course i am u buttsnax

**cheddarjohn:** see ya later space cowboy

**keepitcrispy:** thx eli

**potterybitch:** it was an honor fighting alongside you, trollhunter.

**keepitcrispy:** i can say the same for you

**cheddarjohn:** i thought nomura was going too?

**potterybitch:** i still have things to do here in arcadia oaks.

**potterybitch:** for example, what to do about all the familars.

**blinknwink:** Remember, meet up at the Gyre at 6 PM.

**potterybitch:** guess we can officially say goodbye then.

**furzalski:** i’m gonna miss arcadia oaks so much

**furzalski:** i grew up here n it’s been my home since forever

**keepitcrispy:** same man

**potterybitch:** at least it’s easy to visit.

**furzalski:** true

**furzalski:** i can check up on my nana

**potterybitch:** don’t forget visiting morgana.

**furzalski:** and that

**shadowdancer:** did u guys patch things up

**furzalski:** not really patching up just

**furzalski:** figuring things out

**furzalski:** she wants me to try to find my mom in nj so that’s good at least

**potterybitch:** he came over to talk to her this morning.

**potterybitch:** she seems to be opening up.

**potterybitch:** she asked me about getting a ‘celluar phone’ for herself after tobias left.

**keepitcrispy:** nice

**keepitcrispy:** send her all those mems

**potterybitch:** i will not give you her number.

**keepitcrispy:** you know what that’s fair

**potterybitch:** you know, it’s almost 5:30.

**furzalski:** shit i need to finish packing

**keepitcrispy:** TOVIAS

**furzalski:** I WAS TEXTING DARCI JGEGEIGI

**furzalski:** is heili hjarta near a laundromat

**blinknwink:** Probably?

**furzalski:** GOOD

**keepitcrispy:** see y’all at the gyre

**potterybitch:** i’m bringing morgana.

**furzalski:** lit my nana’s comin too

**shadowdancer:** my entire ass family is gonna be there along with nonenrique so i apologize in advance

**furzalski:** fun

**doubleyeet:** we’ll be there to throw confetti b4 u go

**keepitcrispy:** thx steve

 

**keepitcrispy** changed the group name to  **a 2 b**

 

**keepitcrispy:** [welcome heili hjarta!.jpg]

**furzalski:** [celeb status.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** it’s great here

**keepitcrispy:** but i already miss arcadia

**potterybitch:** i know.

**keepitcrispy:** also plz wait a week until u start mackin on my mom while i’m gone

**potterybitch:** no promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u liked this chapter, leave a comment or a kudo! next chapter is an epilogue of sorts
> 
> seriously guys, i love y'all. i'm gonna miss this fic.


	59. stay in touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little glimpse of life in Heili Hjarta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter. wow. here we go.

**doubleyeet:** [merch bby.jpg]

**doubleyeet:** ay do u guys have a po box over there

**furzalski:** the creepslayerz merch?

**doubleyeet:** u know what boi

**furzalski:** i mean i’m stayin with linda so i have an address

**furzalski:** and a lil sister!

**furzalski:** [babey gwen.jpg]

**doubleyeet:** yeet

**keepitcrispy:** yea some changelings down here hooked me up with some pretty sweet digs cuz nomura put in a good word for us

**shadowdancer:** we got our own apartment bih

**shadowdancer:** how’s arcadia?

**doubleyeet:** well i think we’re mid alien invasion

**keepitcrispy:** now i’m kinda happy we’re in nj 

**keepitcrispy:** bayonne is nice but bc of all the chaos of getting the trolls reaccomadated n havin the local trolls trust me means i haven’t been able to come back for a visit

**furzalski:** i mean yesterday i was down in arcadia chillin with morgana

**furzalski:** did ur mom tell u she was dating nomura bc that was news to me

**keepitcrispy:** HWTA

**furzalski:** also apparently my nana was seeing this dude who disappeared b4 i left so she’s sad abt that

**doubleyeet:** oof

**shadowdancer:** bayonne high has a better theatre department than arcadia oaks high n that’s the tea

**keepitcrispy:** they also have more than three teachers

**doubleyeet:** iohgu

**keepitcrispy:** [bayonne trollmarket.jpg]

**keepitcrispy:** but if i could put this on a post card i could

**furzalski:** not quite the same but pretty picturesque

**doubleyeet:** man i wish i could’ve seen trollmarket at its pique 

**keepitcrispy:** don’t u mean peak

**doubleyeet:** no despite what u think i’m cultured lake

**keepitcrispy:** fair

**doubleyeet:** anyways send me ur addresses so u can get that creepslayerz merch

**shadowdancer:** u know i never told us what was goin on with u n aja

**doubleyeet:** SHUSH

**doubleyeet:** no

**cheddarjohn:** he gave the first shirt we got to aja

**cheddarjohn:** [official creepslayerz sponsor.jpg]

**doubleyeet:** betrayal

**doubleyeet:** how would u feel if i told them abt the incident with u n krel

**cheddarjohn:** mary had a back to school party n we kinda made out

**cheddarjohn:** now u cant

**doubleyeet:** kinda

**furzalski:** oooh yea that was a fun game of spin the bottle lol

**keepitcrispy:** how do u know

**furzalski:** i was there

**furzalski:** i didn’t play but i saw what happened

**shadowdancer:** i knew it

**shadowdancer:** mary sent me a pic of u n darci snuggling near the firepit

**keepitcrispy:** oh my god

**keepitcrispy:** i knew that late night training with nomura was suspicious

**potterybitch:** classic.

**keepitcrispy:** nomura when tf did u start dating my mom

**potterybitch:** i waited a week.

**potterybitch:** okay, five days.

**potterybitch:** [fuck off waltolomew.jpg]

**furzalski:** I FORGOT HIS FUL NAME WAS WALTOLOMOEW VIVUV

**potterybitch:** i sent it to him to gloat.

**potterybitch:** sometimes i need to deflate his ego.

**keepitcrispy:** valid

**furzalski:** but yea y’all are cute together

**keepitcrispy:** i’m gonna try to visit next week

**keepitcrispy:** if i can get gilta off my back for one night

**furzalski:** she’s the leader of heili hjarta

**keepitcrispy:** not a very big fan of me

**furzalski:** which is hilarious to me bc she’s like

**furzalski:** ‘you’re the trollhunter! you have to set a good example’

**keepitcrispy:** vendel just hoped i wouldn’t die n didn’t give a fuck if i set a good example

**keepitcrispy:** it’s taken some getting used to

**shadowdancer:** every time he walks into heili hjarta a bunch of lil troll whelps flock him it’s adorable

**furzalski:** gilta knows my mom which is why she isn’t as hard on me

**furzalski:** linda not morgana

**furzalski:** heili hjarta is actually pretty chill with humans n trolls interacting which is gr8 for us

**shadowdancer:** linda is actually teaching me a lil bit of magic which is fun

**furzalski:** yea she’s been givin me a few lessons too

**shadowdancer:** he’s actually quite good at it

**furzalski:** hey my mom was morgana it’s in my blood

**shadowdancer:** well i got possessed by her so

**keepitcrispy:** you’re both good at magic plz

**furzalski:** honestly he spends the time hangin out with her husband (my step-dad?) exchanging recipes

**doubleyeet:** man can i come to visit for a weekend it sounds fun

**cheddarjohn:** ditto

**keepitcrispy:** i’ll tell u when i got a chance

**keepitcrispy:** we have to go to training but it was nice to talk to y’all

**doubleyeet:** see ya soon, hopefully

**shadowdancer:** keep it crispy over in arcadia

**cheddarjohn:** will do

  
**furzalski** archived the group 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked, leave a comment or a kudo!
> 
> when i wrote this, i didn't know what would happen. i thought this would be a fun little fic. 59 chapters later, here we are. i knew how to end this fic, but i didn't know the right way to. still, i think that last line sums it up. i may be done with this fic, but that doesn't mean i've forgotten it.
> 
> (they probably just started a new group chat, don't worry.)

**Author's Note:**

> y'all could probably guess but
> 
> jim - jimothy, gnomeo, keepitcrispy  
> claire - juliet, fuckoffmorgana  
> toby - damzalski, furzalski  
> nomura - potterybitch  
> steve - springflingking  
> eli - cheddarjohn  
> blinky (and argh!) - blinknwink  
> mom lake - barbaralake  
> nana - margaretdomzalski  
> papa nunez - javiernunez  
> mama nunez - councilwomannunez  
> strickler - waltstrickler  
> javyn - javynthemanvyn  
> angor - angorrotten  
> mary - maryyyyy  
> darci - beammeupdarci  
> draal - draal  
> (morgana - manynames)
> 
> i have other chapters that i’ll post l8r when i want to


End file.
